Principal's Message

Message from the Principal: Brother Eric Ali-- When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children. During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine. Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.-- Al-Madinah School: 1635 South Saint Andrews Place, Los Angeles, California 90019-- madina@pacbell.net (1-323) 296-5961

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Great Tips on Managing Tantrums (By: Grandma Jeddah)

Great Tips on Managing Tantrums

Please click here
https://rhymerlymer.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/grandma-jeddahs-8-tips-for-taming-temper-pdf.pdf

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Sunday, September 17, 2017

BITTERSWEET: A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE ON SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTING (From: Muslim Matters)


BITTERSWEET: A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE ON SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTING


"I didn’t do a very good job at first, I would yell at him to lay down, and he would become scared and cry. So I would yell more, and he would scream, and I would yell more, and it would escalate until he would be shaking with fear and I with rage and at some point it occurred to me that my own son was genuinely terrified and couldn’t understand why he was being yelled out. And then, Allah gave me sabr, and then a diagnosis, and then the understanding that Khalid wasn’t disobeying, he just had no idea what was going on."

https://muslimmatters.org/2010/07/21/bittersweet-a-spiritual-perspective-on-special-needs-parenting/

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Mother has problem yelling at kids (By: Grandma Jeddah)


20.  Mother has problem yelling at kids


Truth be told, I need real help. I am a mother of 2. My son is 6 and always talking back. He makes me mad and I yell when he doesn’t listen. Then I tap his back to make him. He is such a good boy when he is told nicely. Yes, I know it’s me . . . but I feel so much stress on my shoulders—housework, the kids screaming.  I’m always told to use the behavior chart—I did that. It never works. My 3-year-old follows whatever my older son tells her to do. And I can’t get my 6-year-old to do his homework. Please tell me where I am going wrong and I will do anything to fix it. Which book would you advise me to buy? I want anything that works.

First, I’d like to say that you are probably doing a better job than you realize. Parenting can truly be challenging at times. None of us is perfect. I sense that you are making much effort in trying to be the best mother you can.

You mentioned that your son responds well when he is spoken to nicely. This suggests that at times you make an effort to manage his behavior in a calmer manner. This is something you can build upon, insha’Allah. Whenever you respond to your son in this manner, think about what the circumstances were that led you to act in this way. Try to create more situations like that so that you can get in the habit of responding to your son in this manner. You can even develop an incentive chart for yourself and reward yourself when you get 10 stars for managing your son’s behavior in a positive way. Then buy yourself something special, watch an interesting documentary, purchase a good book to read, or go somewhere special. Mothers need incentives sometimes, too. (smile)

Likewise, when you notice yourself responding to your son in ways that you dislike, once the situation has passed, think about how and why the situation led you to respond in such a way. Notice what triggers led you to want to respond this way. Let these triggers (child is whining, you didn’t get enough rest the night before, you drank too much caffeine lately, etc.) be your warning signals. Be extra conscious of your behavior at these times. Make a lot of dua asking Allah to help you to maintain your composure; seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan; take a few deep breaths before reacting; retreat to your room. Think of other ways you can calm yourself down before responding to your son. Patience is something that we learn over time and through practice, Insha’Allah.

You mentioned that the star chart system doesn’t work with your son. I would suggest using the behavior chart once again. Often times caregivers aren’t consistent with the system. This can lead to its lack of success. Also, sometimes caregivers neglect other aspects of parenting that must be in place prior to or along with using behavior charts. Some of these prerequisites are ensuring you are giving your child sufficient affection and attention. In addition, make sure you are setting a proper example for your child to model after.
When children see parents reacting with impatience to frustrating situations the children sometimes imitate this manner of coping.

Another important factor is to make sure you affirm your son’s good behavior more often. When we’re angry, we tend to focus more on our child’s improper behavior and disregard their proper conduct.

There could certainly be other factors that can contribute to a star chart system not working as well. These might include a child having severe behavioral problems, but your letter doesn’t seem to suggest this, and Allahu Alim.

You mentioned that house work and day-to-day responsibilities were overwhelming at times. No doubt about it . . .  our daily responsibilities can become burdensome. If your spouse isn’t opposed, perhaps you can allow yourself a break every now and then. What I mean by this is you could minimize the importance of a tidy house, long-cooked meals or whatever else that seems to take up a lot of your time and make you frustrated. Maybe you could use paper plates and cups once a week so you don’t have to wash dishes. You could decide that the house doesn’t have to be properly maintained at all times.

Also, make sure you are taking the time to relax. If you enjoy reading books, writing, crocheting or whatever, be sure to take time to enjoy these things periodically. They help calm your mind and replenish your energy.  And, of course, try listening to or reading Quran regularly. It’s a reminder of what we are here for and an encouragement for us to persevere.

Here are a few links you might find useful. And please continue visiting Grandma Jeddah’s website and blog as I think you will find much information from them that will be helpful for you, insha’Allah. Also, remember to make dua often, asking Allah to help you with your problems.

http://grandmajeddah.blogspot.com/2012/11/why-rewards-are-more-effective-than.html




This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Young son won’t be still in salat (By: Grandma Jeddah)

27.  Young son won’t be still in salat


My husband takes my 5-year-old to the masjid with him sometimes for salat. My husband says that he always moves around and won’t be still in line. We want him to take salat seriously. How should we handle his restlessness during salat?
May Allah reward you for wanting to raise your son up to be conscientious of his prayers. I wouldn’t worry much about his moving around a lot in prayer. The Prophet (saw) said to have them begin praying at 7 years old, according to hadith.  He hasn’t matured to that level yet. Right now, he is simply being exposed to it, and that’s good. Let him enjoy making the prayer rather than making it something that he has to seriously adhere to.  This will help retain his desire to continue to go.  The Prophet (saw) was extremely lenient with his grandsons: There is a hadith in which the Prophet (saw) allowed his grandsons to climb on his back during salat while he was in sujud. (Bukhari)
Many children like to imitate their parents, so when your son sees you and your husband praying, he will likely develop a desire to begin imitating both of you, insha’Allah. Children take in and retain a lot of information through example during this time period. At this stage, he is learning mostly through example. Your sincere concern for prayer will likely transfer over to him, insha’Allah.
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This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/



Sunday, September 10, 2017

How to make 1-on-1- time with 3 kids (By: Grandma Jeddah)

I have 3 boys, and I’m homeschooling them, so I’m finding it hard to give them 1-on-1 time. How do I find time to give each one the personal time he needs?

May Allah reward you for seeking ways to spend more personal time with your sons. Spending quality as well as quantity time with your children is important for their proper development.

Take comfort in knowing that by homeschooling your boys, you give them 1-on-1 attention, even if you don’t realize it. When teaching your soon to be 6-year-old how to write his letters, much of the practice involves your holding and guiding his hand, close-up contact with him, and continuous verbal direction and reinforcement. The same goes for when you’re helping your 3-year-old put his puzzles together. Even though you may be teaching them at the same time and nursing the littlest one, they are still getting personal attention from you.

Pat yourself on the back that you have chosen homeschooling as a method of teaching your sons. It is an educational method that allows them to have frequent contact and interaction with you. These crucial developmental years cannot be replaced once your sons have aged beyond them. And you are providing your kids with optimum attention from you as they move through this growth period.

The following suggestions are probably more closely related to what you are seeking in your question. One way of spending more 1-on-1 time with individual children is by making dates with them. Once a week you can schedule an outing with each child. Have Dad watch the other two while you go on a 30 to 45 minute outing with one of the boys. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. How about a visit to the park to play on the swings and slide for a few minutes? You can take a trip to the market with one of your sons to pick up some items for dinner. Be sure to let him pick out something special for himself and the other two siblings back at home. He’ll feel important for doing it. A walk around the corner can add up to 1-on-1 time together, as well.

The thing to remember with whatever outing you choose is to conversate with your child on the way to and back from your excursions. Talk about him, you, Allah, what you see on the way, whatever comes to your mind. Use that as a time to answer all of his back-to-back questions, with no frustration in your tone, only concern for your time together.

You can also use periods of activity at home to your advantage. During bath time, use those 5 to 10 minutes to smile, laugh, joke and play with one child at a time. Splash the water; let him feel with his fingers the extremes between warm and cold water; let the warm water rush down his back. Talk to him about which story he wants you to read to him after he’s slipped on his pajamas. Use your imagination for conversation and interaction ideas.

How about when you’re washing dishes? Let them take turns each day sitting on the counter to talk with you while you wash. What about when you’re baking a cake? Let one stir while the other counts to 10, then exchange their positions.

Play with them in turn. Play pony back ride. Get on your knees and ride each one to the other end of the room and back. Then let another child have a turn.

During story time at bedtime, have your kids take turns sitting on your lap for their story to be read. Or if only one story is read per night, let them take turns each night sitting on your lap.
Spending one-on-one needn’t amount to large blocks of time. Short spurts of 1-on-1 attention can be productive, as well.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about neglecting to give your sons 1-on-1 attention. The fact that you’re homeschooling them as well as seeking out ways to become a better parent show you’re doing a great job at trying to fulfill your sons’ needs, and Allahu Alim.
May Allah bless you to raise all your children up as good Muslims and bless your children to be blessings for you and your family in this world and the hereafter.


This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/


Friday, September 8, 2017

Using multiple goals for incentive chart (by: Grandma Jeddah)

Using multiple goals for incentive chart


I’d like to use the star chart incentive system with my 7-year-old daughter who shows signs of hyperactivity.  If there are a couple of areas to work on, is it better to work on one issue at a time or tackle them all at once?

It depends on the particular child you are dealing with and what behavior goals you are trying to work on.  Consider your 7-year-old daughter, for instance.  Determine whether or not she is likely to be successful if she has more than one goal to work on. You mentioned that she is fairly close to being hyperactive. Some children who are hyperactive can have difficulty staying focused. Having several behavior goals to focus on at one time might be a bit much for such children. This is particularly the case if the goals are challenges that take a lot of mental and emotional effort to overcome. For instance, if you want her to work on talking respectfully, following instructions promptly, and controlling her angry feelings around her younger siblings, these goals in unison might be overwhelming for her.  Initially, they would probably be best worked on individually. After you begin seeing success with one goal, then add another.


However, goals that don’t demand much of your child emotionally might be OK to work on simultaneously, for example, washing her hands before eating, saying Bismillah before eating, or finishing her homework as soon as she gets home from school. So, in essence, what I’m saying is that it depends on the child and the goals to be achieved.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

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Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Let her show you how respectful discipline methods, which encourage calmness, advising, gentleness and non-corporal consequences, can be a successful means of training  your children to be Allah fearing Muslims. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com