Sunday, June 26, 2011

Giving Hope to Cope By: Grandma Jeddah

They will enter Gardens of Eden where they will be adorned with gold bracelets and pearls, and where their clothing will be of silk. They will say, 'Praise be to Allah, Who has removed from us (all) sorrow: for our Lord is indeed Oft-Forgiving, Ready to appreciate (service), Who has, out of His bounty, settled us in a Home that will last: no toil nor sense of weariness shall touch us therein.' (35: 33-35)

There are numerous ayat in Quran where Allah helps the believer who is suffering, to imagine his place in Jenna.
What you can’t give in reality give through imagination. Your son wants a new bike like his friend down the street or your dyslexic 11-year-old daughter wishes she could read books like her older sister.

You can say to your son Karim who wants a bike—

Mother:            Wouldn't it be nice if you could go to a bike shop and pick out any bike you like                            no matter how much it cost?
Karim:              Yeah, I’d get the fastest most expensive bike in the world.
Mother:           Maybe someday you’ll be able to.

To your daughter Myisha who has difficulty reading you could say--
Mother:            Wouldn't it be nice if there were glasses you could wear that made you able to read books, magazines or anything else you wanted to read?
Myisha:           Uh huh, then I could read whenever I want, without anyone helping me.

Your 4 year old wants to go outside to play but there’s no one to supervise him.
Mother:           You probably wish you were older so you could watch yourself outside.
4-year-old:       When I grow up I’m going to go outside all the time by myself.

Helping your child see the hope for a better day can build optimism that will help carry him through. This is a coping technique you can develop in your child that will be helpful for him now and throughout life, insha'Allah.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at

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