Principal's Message

Message from the Principal: Brother Eric Ali-- When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children. During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine. Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.-- Al-Madinah School: 1635 South Saint Andrews Place, Los Angeles, California 90019-- madina@pacbell.net (1-323) 296-5961

Friday, June 17, 2011

How to Handle a Toddler who says "No" By: Grandma Jeddah


You pushed him out, nursed him, gave him all your love and just the other day you told your 3-year-old to put his plate away and he had the audacity to tell you, “No!”
Well, don’t take it too personal. What you’re experiencing with your child is a normal stage children go through around his age. About age two, kids have a tendency to want to exert their independence. Saying, “No” is one way of doing that. He wants to have his own say about things . . . which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. You want your child to learn how to say “No” for some things. Don’t take saying “No” too seriously. His vocabulary is blossoming at this time. “No” is a word that he probably often hears you say. So he’s probably quite familiar with it. If you’re still a bit concerned, here are a few things you can do:
First, try to limit saying “No” whenever you’re around him. If you think about it, you might be saying “No” out of habit rather than necessity when he does things. If it’s not a major infraction, maybe you can just let him continue what he’s doing. You can also switch to the phrase “Don’t do that,” rather than use the word “No” when you want him to stop doing something.
The second thing you can do is offer him choices instead of presenting questions that can be answered with “Yes” or “No.” Instead of “Do you want to take your bath now,” ask him "When do you want to take your bath, before or after your story?” This does two things. First, it presents a situation in which he has no need to say “No.” Second, it helps him feel empowered, which is something saying “No” might help him to feel. After all, when he hears and sees you saying “No” to him, you’re exerting your influence and power over him.
Third, like I said in the beginning, don’t really make a big issue of it. He might enjoy the expression or response he sees in your face when he says “No,” to you. If he says it and he sees you’re not responding as usual, that might take some of the pleasure out of it. Now let’s summarize.
1. Limit saying “No” yourself.
2. Offer him choices that do not require a “No” response. This will also help him feel empowered.
3. Ignore it, and don’t take it too seriously.

For more information on making obeying easier and discipline simpler without hitting, shouting or shaming, visit Grandma Jeddah’s website at: www.grandmajeddah.com or subscribe to her free newsletter.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Assalamu Alaikum,
We welcome your comments, suggestions, and questions. Jazakalakhair for visiting us.

Grandma Jeddah