Thursday, July 28, 2011

Avoid this Discipline Mistake: Ignoring Your Child's Feelings By: Grandma Jeddah

Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah: And Allah (always) hears the arguments between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things).            (Quran 58:1)

In the above ayat, Allah reassures us that He knows whatever our complaints, problems and difficulties are.  How reassuring.  Knowing that Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High, knows what we are going through is truly a comforting thought.
A major key to preventing acting out behavior is to empathize with your child. Try to make sure your child does not starve for emotional support. When you acknowledge your child’s feelings, you’re letting him know that his feelings matter. People have a strong desire to know that significant others care about their pain, hurt or disappointments.  This helps them feel loved and wanted. When your child senses no one cares about his feelings, he may begin to exhibit extreme defiant behavior, in particular toward authority figures—including you. When you fail to show your concern for his emotions, he may choose to make you feel what he’s feeling—by hurting your feelings or venting his frustrations upon others.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at

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