A Tip on Learning to Control Your Temper when Disciplining
Quran 2: 183
O Ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may (learn) self-restraint.
A common problem many mothers write in to Grandma Jeddah about is how to control their temper with their children. These mothers are already on the road to improvement, because they’ve taken the first step, which is realizing that they need to change or improve their parenting methods. Here are a few pointers on how to help yourself maintain self-control when disciplining your children:
· Learning how to be patient with your children takes practice. Remember that no one is perfect, but practice does help one to improve. So make a conscious effort to improve.
· Think about how you would want to be treated if you were your child.
· Read about and learn about the ways The Prophet (SAW) dealt with people. Use him as your example.
· Fast. Although not eating can sometimes put one on edge, it also has a calming effect. We are often more subdued when our stomach is not full. In addition, when fasting we are encouraged to avoid conflict and argumentation. Most of us are familiar with the hadith that says, if somebody should fight or argue with you, you should say, ‘I am fasting.’Even though Ramadan is over we still have many opportunities to receive the blessings and reward of fasting. Of course the 6 days of Shawwal are encouraged. Also, Mondays and Thursdays are
recommended days for fasting. The three days during the middle of the lunar month are suggested, as well. Use these days to help you get the reward of fasting and gain better self-control, insha’Allah.
Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.