Friday, July 26, 2013

Avoid Hitting

                                                 Avoid Hitting
                                                 by Grandma Jeddah
Because ADHD is a developmental disorder that makes it difficult for your child to exercise self-control, you will find yourself facing situations in which your child exhibits defiant behavior, behaves excessively aggressive, or confronts you with arrogance.  Avoid the easy, habitual response of hitting your child when he opposes your instructions or violates others’ rights.  Spanking can escalate negative behavior in kids with ADHD.  The long term negative effects can be counterproductive.
People look forward to pleasing those who treat them well.  If your friend smacks you and talks to you in a rude manner, would you be inclined to fulfilling her requests?  Not only would you be adverse to it, but it’s highly unlikely you would voluntarily do as she asks unless you were compelled.  And if your “friend” forced you to perform the request, you would be resentful and want to get back at her somehow. Your children are no different.
Your child may disagree with your reasoning regarding an order or request. But, if you make your request in a kind, respectful yet determined way, he is more likely to respond to your instruction.  He is also more likely to do his best at the job. He will be more open to obeying. 
 Parents sometimes hit their children because they are angry or under added stress. Hitting when angry can become a habit. You may begin to view hitting as your primary source of discipline. When hitting is your main or only method of disciplining, it is very easy for you to cross the line from hitting to abusing.

If you’ve already hit your child once for sneaking into the kitchen to get a cookie, what will you do the next time he does it—hit him more times and harder?  This is particularly a problem with special needs children who have problems controlling their impulses and act out often.  These types of children are more likely to receive abusive treatment from their parents because they have more difficulty controlling their own behavior than the average child.  


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

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