Handling ADHD children
by Grandma Jeddah
Because children with ADHD are atypical, they require more maintenance, patience and diligence in parenting than the average child. With an ordinary child you can say do your homework, and your son gets out his book bag, pulls out his notebook, opens it and begins his task.
On the other hand, you might have an eight-year-old Samir. First, Samir is literally climbing the walls. His legs and hands are wedged against his bedroom door frame and he’s working his way to the top to dangle down from it. “Samir, it’s time to get out your homework.” The words don’t even enter his ears--or so you’d think. “Samir, get down, it’s time to start your homework.” You tap his bottom to get his attention (OK maybe a little harder than that.)
“Stop It” he screams.
“Don’t shout at me; get down from there . . . it’s time to start on your homework.”
“I’m not doing it.” He jumps down and runs down the hallway. You chase him. He bumps into his little brother who’s holding a freshly poured cup of milk. It splatters all over the little one. The little one screams. You’re angry. You feel helpless. You don't know what else to do. You grab Samir by the ear and whack him a few times across his shoulder and back.
”I hate you?” he shouts pulling away from your grip.
“I don’t care--you have to do your homework. You grab hold of him again and shake him a couple of times.
Finally, he falls down to the floor shouting and crying, kicking the wall.
Your eight-year-old son and you have just had another one of your battles. You retreat to your room, fuming, disenchanted and hopeless. And guess what? The homework never gets done.
The repercussions of loud shouting and hitting for the ADHD child is a backlash of undesirable side effects such as flagrant defiance. The child often behaves violently during episodes of spanking by yelling, kicking, banging, and talking back. In the end you have a vindictive opponent ready to get back at you at the earliest convenience. In addition, after a spree of wild belt swings and relief of pent up anxiety, you often feel guilty for your abrasive response. Excessive leniency may follow which is not conducive to effectively disciplining your child.
Trained professionals working with children having ADHD, strongly advise parents to educate themselves on how to parent their child more effectively. Suggested tips on training your child with ADHD are to --
Reinforce appropriate behavior
Focus on effort in addition to accomplishments
Make sure your instructions are understood
Maintain a daily schedule
Be consistent with consequences
Remain calm during disciplining
Be aware that spanking can escalate negative behavior with strong willed children
Offer support when needed
Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com