Friday, September 6, 2013

Test of Children with Special Needs by Grandma Jeddah

Test of Children with Special Needs
by Grandma Jeddah

There is no doubt--raising a child with special needs can be more challenging, stressful and exhausting than raising a child with normal range functioning.  As a Muslim, however, we know that the greater the test the greater the reward.  Raising a child with special needs gives you an opportunity to get so many blessings and rewards.  This is because you have to reach deep, down into your reserve of patience and tolerance to manage your child’s quirky mannerisms, outlandish behavior, and excessive dependence upon you.   Not to mention, you sometimes have to cope with uninformed, disapproving, and intolerant friends, relatives and strangers. So remember the following when you feel like you’re losing control of your household—and your sanity:
مَا عِندَكُمْ يَنفَدُ وَمَا عِندَ اللّهِ بَاقٍ وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّ الَّذِينَ صَبَرُواْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ

"And those who are patient, we will certainly pay them a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do." (Quran 16:96).
"If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Bukhari).
قُلْ لَنْ يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَانَا ۚ وَعَلَى
اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ
"Say: Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Lord and Protector, and in Allah let the believers put their trust." (Quran 9: 51).

Use the difficult moments as opportunities to get closer to your Lord.  Seek help from Him often.
دَعَاهُ وَيَكْشِفُ السُّوءَ وَيَجْعَلُكُمْ خُلَفَاءَ الْأَرْضِ أَمَّنْ يُجِيبُ الْمُضْطَرَّ إِذَا   
"Is it not He who responds to the distressed one when he calls Him (better than your gods.)"
 (Quran 27: 62)
But also keep in mind that your child’s disabilities and eccentric behavior may very well have some positive aspects that you are simply unaware of.  Perhaps it’s a blessing from Allah that He has not made known to you. Perhaps it is Allah’s way of guaranteeing your child paradise.

Narrated 'Ata bin Abi Rabah: Ibn 'Abbas said to me, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet (saw) said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.' She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her." (Bukhari 7:555)

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --

1 comment:

Assalamu Alaikum,
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