Tuesday, September 13, 2016

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way: Limits on Hitting (By Grandma Jeddah)

Excerpt From-- 

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way

By Grandma Jeddah

Sheikh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

Sheikh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) has said the following regarding hitting children at 10-years for failure to pray:

Hit only when effective
“The command implies that it is obligatory, but it is limited only to cases where smacking will be beneficial, because sometimes you smack a child but he does not benefit from being smacked, it only makes him scream and cry more and does not serve any benefit. Moreover, what is meant by smacking here is smacking that is not painful, a light smack that serves the purpose and does not cause any harm 4.”

So hitting, some scholars explain, is required only when it will achieve the desired result— compliance. If the effect of hitting will lead to more misbehavior rather than obedience, then spanking should be avoided. Because certain children do not respond favorably to hitting, it is to the mother’s benefit that she learn alternative discipline methods that can help encourage her children to comply.

Avoid hitting when angry
Some scholars also state that hitting should be avoided when angry. Most parents have probably experienced an incident or two in which their child’s misconduct infuriated them.  A parent who is angry is more likely to hit her child out of frustration rather than for the purpose of guiding the child to do what is right. Hitting due to frustration, anger, sadness or whatever malady the parent might be experiencing at the time, are not valid reasons to hit your child. We can see the wisdom in the hadith that quotes the Prophet (saw) as saying, “No one should judge between others when he is in a state of anger” (Bukhari).
         


Do not hit the face
As mentioned previously, hitting children in the face is completely forbidden in Islam.  Here are two hadith which clarify the issue of hitting in the face:  According to one hadith the Prophet (saw) said, “When any one of you fights, let him avoid (striking) the face.” (Bukhari)
          According to another hadeeth, narrated by Abu Bakrah and others, a woman committed adultery, and the Prophet (saw) commanded she be stoned to death, and said, ‘Stone her, but avoid the face. (Abu Dawood)
          This hadith clearly tells us that even when punishing someone, the person should not be hit in the face.

Limited number of strikes
Another stipulation regarding hitting is that parents should limit the number of times they hit their child when disciplining him. This limit is no more than10 strikes. Others have limited it to 3 strikes, and Allahu Alim. According to a hadith narrated by Abu Burdah al-Ansaari, he heard the Prophet (saw) say: “No one should be given more than ten lashes of the whip except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allah.” (Bukhari)
          This stipulation is paramount, as it can help minimize chances of hurting or injuring your child when hitting him. 
          Are you now beginning to develop a new and greater understanding regarding the permissibility and parameters of hitting your child when disciplining him?  When disciplining with hitting, you should keep in mind the following conditions:
·        Avoid causing injury
·        Avoid causing pain
·        Avoid harshness
·        Avoid hitting in the face
·        Avoid hitting as a first option
·        Avoid using more than 10 strikes.
·        Avoid using when angry
·        Avoid hitting when child will not respond with proper behavior


Now we will look at the way in which The Prophet (saw) interacted with young children.


Order and read the entire book and view the entire video today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/How-to-Discipline-Children-the-Islamic-Way-Video-e-Book-129.htm



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

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