Message from the Principal: Brother Eric Ali--
When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children.
During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine.
Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.--
1635 South Saint Andrews Place,
Los Angeles, California 90019--
Learn Discipline Tips from Our Quarterly Parenting Newsletter
Try a Tender Tongue when Teaching By Grandma Jeddah
“I told you to STOP that!” Does that sound familiar? It doesn’t have to. Here are a few helpful reminders on the wisdom of disciplining with a tender tongue instead of a tyrannical one.
When you shout at your child as a means of seeking proper behavior, you are sending a message to her that this is a suitable way to manage upset feelings and of achieving desirable behavior from others. You are your child’s first teacher. If she sees you ranting, she will be more inclined to rant when she is angry with others, as well. This is what she has observed in her home, and this is what she considers appropriate.
Remember to treat your children the way you wish to be treated. Who wants to be shouted at? No one does. Being yelled at creates an unsettling and uncomfortable feeling inside the person at the other end of the angry outburst. Use Prophet Muhammad (saw) as a role model when correcting your child.
According to a hadith, Anas Ibn Malik said, “I served the Prophet (saw) for ten years, and he never hit me, insulted me or frowned in my face." (Muslim)
This is an amazing hadith! Children misbehaved during the time of The Prophet (saw) as they do today. Even though our children do not always do as we say, we can still correct them in a respectful manner.
Anas ibn Malik reports another hadith and says, “The Messenger of Allah (saw) was the best of people in character. One day he sent me on an errand. I replied: “’I will not go.” But then my conscience told me to do as he instructed. But when I left out, I passed by a group of children playing in the street, and I joined them. Later, the Messenger came out and caught me from the back. I looked at him and saw that he was laughing. He said: “Anas, Did you do as I asked you?” I replied, “I am going, O Messenger of Allah.” (Muslim).
Correcting our children with loud, harsh words is not the most suitable way to achieve their compliance. In fact, it can actually be counterproductive to a loving and caring relationship that fosters appropriate behavior from them. Why not make today a new beginning and try speaking to your child in a gentle voice the next time she needs to be corrected.