Your teacher just gave you a “D” on your history report! You know you deserved a better grade, and now you feel like telling her off.
It’s not easy controlling your emotions at times like this. But the reward for being patient and finding more positive and Islamic ways of expressing your frustrations is well worth the effort. There is great benefit in striving to be known as one who has patience. This can only be accomplished by developing a consistent record of being patient during hardship and trials.
There are many sites on the internet that you can read which will give suggestions on how to be more assertive when you feel you’ve been mistreated. Be sure to look them up after your reading. When you have acceptable ways of expressing your dissatisfaction, you won’t have to rely on your inappropriate expressions.
Here are encouraging words from Quran and hadith on how to manage moments of anger. You will also discover the many rewards and benefits of trying your best to be patient when someone does something to you that gets you fuming.
1. Two men disputed with each other in the presence of the Messenger of Allah and the nose of one of them became swollen because of extreme anger. The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “I know of some words that if he said them, what he feels will go away, [the words are] I seek refuge with Allah from the cursed Satan.' '' (Bukhari)
2. Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (saw) counseled a man who asked for his advice and told him three times “Don’t get angry.” (Bukhari) According to scholars, this means don’t act upon your anger, as everyone gets angry.
3. According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down. (Abu Dawud)
4. Narrated Abu Musa “Some people asked the Prophet (saw), “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (who is a very good Muslim?) He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands. (Bukhari) Know that you might be
5. According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said that Allah has said: “O son of Adam! If you remained patient restraining yourself and expecting my reward at the initial shock, I will not be happy without rewarding you with Jannah.”
6. We all desire companionship at some time or another. We are also sometimes in need of others’ assistance. In Quran 2:153 Our Lord informs us: “Allah is with the patient.” What greater companion can one have? People sometimes let us down. They may fail us and at times not have the means or ability to help us. Allah, on the other hand, is completely Self-Sufficient. What a blessing to have Allah as our Companion, Maintainer and Provider.
7. The Creator of the heavens and the earth has given us a formula for finding solutions to our tribulations. And part of the solution is having patience. Allah says in Quran 2:45: “And seek help through patience and prayer.”
When you feel you’re at your wits end with your parents’ demands your friend’s rude and hurtful remarks, seek help for your troubles with patience and prayer.
8. To be loved is a warm and comfortable feeling. But what about the enormous blessing of being loved by Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High! Quran 3:146 says, “And Allah loves the patient." What an honor . . . to be loved by The Most High! Another beautiful hadith about Allah’s love goes as follows:
The Prophet (saw) said: “When Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High, loves someone, He calls Jibreel and says, (Oh Jibreel!) Verily, I love such and such a person, so love him!)’ ”
And Allah names that person and then Jibreel loves that person. Then Jibreel calls out to all the angels of the heavens and he says, “Allah loves so and so, so love him!” And so all the angels love him. And then Allah places pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person!”