Calling Children Bad Names (By Grandma Jeddah)

Last Excerpt From-- 

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way

By Grandma Jeddah

The Way The Prophet (saw) Interacted with Children

According to hadith, Anas Ibn Malik said, “I served the Prophet (saw) for ten years, and he never hit me, insulted me or frowned in my face." (Muslim)

          This hadith is truly amazing. It’s amazing because children are children. Nature doesn’t change. Youngsters can be disruptive, forgetful, irresponsible and annoying at times. This hadith clearly tells us how patient the Prophet (saw) was with the young children around him. Not only did the Prophet (saw) avoid hitting according to this hadith, he also avoided using hurtful words.

Avoid name calling

According to hadith, the Prophet (saw) said “A Muslim is the one from whose hands and tongue other Muslims are safe.” (Tirmidhi) When disciplining your child, know that name calling and speaking abusively should be avoided. Allah says in Quran 49:11: O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong.

          Some parents make little of calling their children names such as stupid, dumb or crazy. They don’t consider it a serious offence or find it a need for concern. However, this ayat from Quran, lets us know in clear terms that calling our children hurtful words that humiliate them is wrong and should be avoided. So not only should we shun hitting, we should also ensure that we speak to our children respectfully. 

Order and read the entire book and view the entire video today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/How-to-Discipline-Children-the-Islamic-Way-Video-e-Book-129.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

The Story of Lut, an Important Tradition to Convey to our Youth (From:IslamiCity)

 The Story of Prophet Lut: A Remebrance and a Guidance

(Retrieved and excerped  from: IslamiCity)

And (remember) Lut: behold, he said to his people: “Ye do commit lewdness, such as no people in Creation (ever) committed before you. Do ye indeed approach men, and cut off the highway?- and practise wickedness (even) in your councils?” But his people gave no answer but this: they said: “Bring us the Wrath of Allah if thou tellest the truth.” (Surat al-Ankaboot: 28-29)

The people of Lut rejected (his) warning. We sent against them a violent Tornado with showers of stones, (which destroyed them), except Lut's household: them We delivered by early Dawn,-  As a Grace from Us: thus do We reward those who give thanks. And (Lut) did warn them of Our Punishment, but they disputed about the Warning. (Surat al-Qamar:, 33-36)

The city where Lut resided is referred to as Sodom in the Old Testament. Being situated at the north of the Red Sea, this community is understood to have been destroyed just as it is written in the Qur’an. Archaeological studies reveal that the city is located in the area of the Dead Sea which stretches along the Israel-Jordan border. 

We also (sent) Lut: He said to his people: “Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women : ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.” 
And his people gave no answer but this: they said, “Drive them out of your city: these are indeed men who want to be clean and pure!” (Surat al-Araf: 80-82) 

He said: “O my Lord! help Thou me against people who do mischief!” (Surat al-Ankaboot: 30)
“O my Lord! deliver me and my family from such things as they do!” (Surat ash-Shuara: 169)

His people detested him because of his showing them the right way, and wanted to banish both him and the other believers beside him. 

When the perversity of the city people reached its fullest extent, Allah saved Lut by means of the angels. In the morning, his people were destroyed by the disaster of which Lut had informed them in advance. 

Thus, Prophet Lut was saved along with the believers and his family with the exception of his wife. As described in the Old Testament, he emigrated with Ibrahim. As for the perverted people, they were destroyed and their dwellings were razed to the ground. 

http://www.islamicity.com/science/QuranAndScience/destruction/GeneratedFilesNoFrame/ThePeopleofLutandTheCitywhichwasTurnedUpsideDown.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of parenting articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Buy her e-book now at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Stay Home or Work (Retrieved from "Little Muslims"

Stay Home or Work

This article was retrieved From Little Muslims

A mother emailed in a question. She is considering pursuing a PhD as the opportunity presented itself, yet she has a toddler. What to do?

I apologize for the tardiness of this reply. Last few months our life has taken a beautiful new turn with the arrival of Baby Ali. But as promised, here is my two cents.

I was still doing my PhD when we had our first child, Yasmin. Compared to other professions, where the mother has to go to work full-time or has overtime commitments, doing a PhD with a child is easy-ier.

Having said that, compared to not having any other work or study-related commitments, having a child while doing a PhD is hard-er.

What I mean is this: I regret not being able to enjoy my first-born as I could have because I was constantly worried about my PhD. I believe that if we choose to be a receiver of these little blessings, we ought to prioritize them before anything else.

http://thelittlemuslims.com/parenting-question-on-pursuing-a-phd-or-working/

Recreational Marijuana Use: How to Talk to Your Kids (From: Grandma Jeddah)

On January 1, 2018 recreational marijuana use will be legal in California. For many, that’s not a big deal at all. People have been using marijuana for “fun” for years if not centuries.

 

For Muslims, though, this should set off an alarm. Contemporary living has led to many unlawful practices becoming common activities--fornication, immoral dress attire, and gambling are several examples. We must continually warn our children about the harms of marijuana and it’s unlawfulness in Islam.

 

O you who have believed, indeed, intoxicants, gambling, [sacrificing on] stone alters [to other than Allah ], and divining arrows are but defilement from the work of Satan, so avoid it that you may be successful. Quran 5:90:

 

Just because our children are Muslims, this does not mean they will not succumb to the pressures within this society that lead to haram activities.

 

We must inform them of the tricks of Shaitan that are used to lead them toward such harmful substances. The door opener  for marijuana was that it was medicinal. From that premise, they made recreational use lawful, as well.

 

Of course, under necessity things that are forbidden are made lawful. If I am about to have an operation, I must have a strong substance to put me in a state of mind where the doctors can complete the operation. But this does not mean that the substances the doctors use are the only substances that can be used. Perhaps there are other substances that have no hallucinogenic or narcotic effect that have not been discovered or are not being produced because they will not be economically productive for pharmaceutical corporations. (These discoveries are something that our Muslim scientists can actually pursue, insha’Allah)

 

When the aspect of medicinal marijuana use is brought up, we parents must explain to our children several things.

 

1)      Are the medicinal claims accurate? The fields of medicine and science are not exact sciences. Their claims often change throughout time. The claims of the benefits of marijuana  may be unreliable.

2)      Does the good outweigh the harm? Pharmaceutical companies have produced numerous drugs that were used for extensive periods and are now known to be more harmful than beneficial.

3)      Are there other alternatives? There are many holistic methods of alleviating ailments that marijuana is alluded to help.

 

We do not have the leisure anymore of waiting until our children are teens before telling them about the harms of marijuana. There are now new forms of marijuana called edibles. These are marijuana baked goods and even candy. Because the potency of edibles is not uniform, even ingesting a small amount can lead to extreme erratic behavior such as jumping off of roofs. ¹

 

These products (similar to fruit flavored tobacco and alcoholic beverages) are geared toward our youth. But even young children can unsuspectingly come upon them or be lured or tempted by these dessert-treat-looking drugs.  

 

Marijuna use can lead to psychological, mental and emotional disorders. It is addictive and contributes to a lack of productivity and initiative. It is harmful to the body including the lungs and heart. These are just some of the problems we are aware of today.

 

If marijuna does have some benefit . . . does the good outweigh the harm or does the harm outweigh the good?

 

They ask you about [the] intoxicants and [the] games of chance Say, "In both of them (is) a sin great, and (some) benefits for [the] people. But sin of both of them (is) greater than (the) benefit of (the) two."   (2:219)

If your child can understand the conversation, begin talking to your kids today about the harms of drugs.
_______________________________________________________________________

Man jumps off roof after eating edibles

http://www.denverpost.com/2014/04/02/denver-coroner-man-fell-to-death-after-eating-marijuana-cookies/

 National Center for Biotechnology Information

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2886568/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of parenting articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Buy her e-book now at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

New Newsletter for our Muslim Youth (By: Grandma Jeddah)

Congratulations, you are among the first to view our new bi-monthly newsletter for our Muslim youth, "Habibi News". The focus of our newsletter is to encourage our youth to feel proud and grateful to be Muslims. Our youth’s definition of themselves must come from us, their elders who love them, care about them, and expect them to become our future leaders, insha’Allah.

If you would like a personal PDF copy or would like several copies delivered to your home, school, or business, please send us an email and we will gladly send you what you need, insha'Allah for free. Please note, mail delivered newsletters are in black and white, not color as shown here. It would be our pleasure to email you a color copy PDF for you to make copies from, insha'Allah. Jazakalakhair.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Young son won’t be still in salat (By: Grandma Jeddah)

27.  Young son won’t be still in salat

My husband takes my 5-year-old to the masjid with him sometimes for salat. My husband says that he always moves around and won’t be still in line. We want him to take salat seriously. How should we handle his restlessness during salat?

May Allah reward you for wanting to raise your son up to be conscientious of his prayers. I wouldn’t worry much about his moving around a lot in prayer. The Prophet (saw) said to have them begin praying at 7 years old, according to hadith.  He hasn’t matured to that level yet. Right now, he is simply being exposed to it, and that’s good. Let him enjoy making the prayer rather than making it something that he has to seriously adhere to.  This will help retain his desire to continue to go.  The Prophet (saw) was extremely lenient with his grandsons: There is a hadith in which the Prophet (saw) allowed his grandsons to climb on his back during salat while he was in sujud. (Bukhari)

Many children like to imitate their parents, so when your son sees you and your husband praying, he will likely develop a desire to begin imitating both of you, insha’Allah. Children take in and retain a lot of information through example during this time period. At this stage, he is learning mostly through example. Your sincere concern for prayer will likely transfer over to him, insha’Allah.

___________________________________________________________

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Looking for Wonderful Wisdom and A+ Advice on Parenting Your Child? Read this. . .

 If you like the following fabulous quotes on parenting, you will relish the entire article, insha'Allah:

"Parenting is Easy. You don't have to work upon your children, but you have to work upon yourselves to see results in your children."

"If you want to teach math, then you have to master mathematics. If you want to teach good manners, then you have to be a master in manners yourself." 

"How you present a Sunnah is just as important as the Sunnah itself. If we have Sunnah to teach, then we should have certain methods to teach them as well, which sadly, many parents ignore. " Brother Nisaar Nadiadwala 

Read the entire article on the Islamic Online University Blog
http://blog.islamiconlineuniversity.com/parenting-cannot-be-delegated/

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way: Limits on Hitting (By Grandma Jeddah)

Excerpt From-- 

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way

By Grandma Jeddah

Sheikh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

Sheikh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) has said the following regarding hitting children at 10-years for failure to pray:

Hit only when effective

“The command implies that it is obligatory, but it is limited only to cases where smacking will be beneficial, because sometimes you smack a child but he does not benefit from being smacked, it only makes him scream and cry more and does not serve any benefit. Moreover, what is meant by smacking here is smacking that is not painful, a light smack that serves the purpose and does not cause any harm ⁴.”

So hitting, some scholars explain, is required only when it will achieve the desired result— compliance. If the effect of hitting will lead to more misbehavior rather than obedience, then spanking should be avoided. Because certain children do not respond favorably to hitting, it is to the mother’s benefit that she learn alternative discipline methods that can help encourage her children to comply.

Avoid hitting when angry

Some scholars also state that hitting should be avoided when angry. Most parents have probably experienced an incident or two in which their child’s misconduct infuriated them.  A parent who is angry is more likely to hit her child out of frustration rather than for the purpose of guiding the child to do what is right. Hitting due to frustration, anger, sadness or whatever malady the parent might be experiencing at the time, are not valid reasons to hit your child. We can see the wisdom in the hadith that quotes the Prophet (saw) as saying, “No one should judge between others when he is in a state of anger” (Bukhari).

         

Do not hit the face

As mentioned previously, hitting children in the face is completely forbidden in Islam.  Here are two hadith which clarify the issue of hitting in the face:  According to one hadith the Prophet (saw) said, “When any one of you fights, let him avoid (striking) the face.” (Bukhari)

          According to another hadeeth, narrated by Abu Bakrah and others, a woman committed adultery, and the Prophet (saw) commanded she be stoned to death, and said, ‘Stone her, but avoid the face. (Abu Dawood)

          This hadith clearly tells us that even when punishing someone, the person should not be hit in the face.

Limited number of strikes

Another stipulation regarding hitting is that parents should limit the number of times they hit their child when disciplining him. This limit is no more than10 strikes. Others have limited it to 3 strikes, and Allahu Alim. According to a hadith narrated by Abu Burdah al-Ansaari, he heard the Prophet (saw) say: “No one should be given more than ten lashes of the whip except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allah.” (Bukhari)

          This stipulation is paramount, as it can help minimize chances of hurting or injuring your child when hitting him. 

          Are you now beginning to develop a new and greater understanding regarding the permissibility and parameters of hitting your child when disciplining him?  When disciplining with hitting, you should keep in mind the following conditions:

·        Avoid causing injury

·        Avoid causing pain

·        Avoid harshness

·        Avoid hitting in the face

·        Avoid hitting as a first option

·        Avoid using more than 10 strikes.

·        Avoid using when angry

·        Avoid hitting when child will not respond with proper behavior

Now we will look at the way in which The Prophet (saw) interacted with young children.

Order and read the entire book and view the entire video today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/How-to-Discipline-Children-the-Islamic-Way-Video-e-Book-129.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

One Scholar's Surprising Opinion on Disciplining Kids for misbehavior

Excerpt From-- 

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way

By Grandma Jeddah

Common Discipline Views

I’d venture to say most of you reading this book were hit when you were young as a form of discipline. The norm in most societies today, both Muslim and non-Muslim is that hitting your child is necessary in order to raise him up properly. There is a new trend, however, which discourages hitting and encourages other forms of directing children toward proper behavior. This method is slowly penetrating parenting circles and households with children.

Many Muslims question this manner of disciplining. They believe discipline which avoids hitting children is something new from the West and not a part of our Islamic way. But in actuality, Islam promotes a form of upbringing and discipline that encourages alternative ways of correcting your child than hitting.

Why be Concerned with the Issue of Hitting
You may be wondering . . . why is this issue of hitting our children even relevant? It’s relevant because when we discipline our children, we want to make sure we are not transgressing against them. This is an important concern, because in our earnest attempt to correct our children, it’s possible we may be harming them.
Before I proceed further, I want to emphasize that I am not a scholar, so I can’t address this issue from a scholarly standpoint. I am speaking from knowledge

I have obtained from readings and lectures of those more knowledgeable than myself.
To determine what the Islamic way of disciplining is, I will use two sources. First, I will state reputable scholars’ opinions on disciplining children. Second, I will give examples of how the Prophet (saw) behaved around children.

Scholars’ Opinions on Hitting Children

Sheikh Albany

The following was taken from an article in the Saudi Gazette1: Sheikh Muhammad Nasiruddeen Al-Albani (May Allah have mercy on him) was asked if it was permissible for teachers to hit students to discipline them. His reply is an eye-opener for us:

       As far as hitting the face, this is not permissible due to the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “Do not hit the face and do not disfigure.” As for hitting a student in general to discipline, (let’s) mention the statement of the Prophet, “Command your children to pray when they reach the age of seven and hit them if they leave it off when they reach the age of 10, and separate them from each other in the beds. “This Hadith is proof that it is not permissible for those in charge to hit a child, whether student or not, for not obeying commands until he reaches the age of 10. Without doubt, whatever knowledge any teacher wants to impart to his students will not be more important than saying prayer.


      “If the Prophet (peace be upon him) prohibited fathers from hitting their children for not praying, until they reached the age of 10, then with all the more reason, it is not permissible for those other than the father to hit children for something (lesser) than the salah until they reached the age of 10. “Thus, it is not permissible for teachers to beat children even if they did not obey him regarding the salah.

      “I would like to also add that the age of puberty for girls and boys differ tremendously from country to country. I know that in general, in countries of warm climate, the hormones may mature at a faster rate; thus the age of Takleef (duty, obligation to observe precepts of religion) would be reached at an earlier age than it would be in a cold climate. So this rule should not be taken in general, but rather each country should look into this with more details. For example, one should find out if that particular child has reached the age of puberty or not? So the ruling will be decided according to what predominates.”

      The Sheikh was then asked: “What if the child had bad banners?” Sheikh Al-bani replied: “Beating and spanking is not (allowed) at all. Instead the child should be advised. Sometimes words have a greater affect on people than hitting. And sometimes hitting does not help at all; rather it makes them persist in doing that. The best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace be upon him). The child should not be hit as long as he did not reach the age of puberty. Also, from the same hadith mentioned previously, I understand it is wrong for fathers to command their children to pray before they reach the age of seven. This contradicts the command of the Prophet (peace be upon him). It is alright if fathers take their children along with them to mosques for prayers. But as for commanding them, then this is in opposition to the hadith.”

       The Sheikh was again asked: “Sheikh, regarding hitting, sometimes you find students leave their houses and have no manners, even good advice does not benefit them, so does hitting them fall into necessity?” The Sheikh replied: “There is no necessity. Where is the necessity here? Can you comprehend that hitting would benefit when the One who created him (Allah, who revealed to the Prophet) said that [sic] do not hit him until he reaches the age of seven?” [Author’s note: Here when he says the age of 7, it appears to be an error, whereas before he mentioned do not hit until he reaches the age of ten, as mentioned in the hadith. And Allahu Alim.]

       The Saudi Gazette adds a foot note to the article that says: Note: However, when this question was posed to Dr. Saleh As-Saleh in his Paltalk class, “Understanding Islam,” he answered that it is permissible to spank for disciplining children if it is used as a last resort and done gently.”
The above article is an excerpt from the audio lecture “La Qushoor Fil Islam.” You can find the link to the article by going to Google Search and typing in “La Qushoor Fil Islam.”

       This ruling that hitting children under 10-years-old or prior to puberty is not allowed, given by Sheikh Albani, is a position that many Muslims are unaware of. The hadith many Muslims often refer to regarding disciplining their children is the same one the Sheikh addressed, directing to teach your children to pray at seven and hit them at ten if they do not pray. This hadith, however, has been used by many parents, teachers, and caregivers as a ticket to strike children at will, with no limitations.

        The error of this thinking will become clearer when we discuss the issue of hitting further, with examples of the way the Prophet (saw) behaved around children. With these illustrations, you will begin to see that Sheikh Albani’s point about no hitting is quite relevant and vital for many parents who want to ensure they are disciplining their children properly, Islamically.

Order and read the entire book and view the entire video today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/How-to-Discipline-Children-the-Islamic-Way-Video-e-Book-129.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Can Passion to Guide Your Children Lead to Abuse? By Grandma Jeddah

Excerpt From-- 

How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way

By Grandma Jeddah

Introduction

This book is for Muslim parents who are concerned about raising their children up as good Muslims. It was written for these parents, but its intent is not to present what they should teach their children. The purpose of this book is to offer parents an awareness of the manner in which they should guide their children toward virtuous lifestyles. It’s for those parents who want to guide their children to what’s right but also want to direct in ways that have been encouraged in our religion. These parents wish to avoid instructing in ways that are contrary to our religion.

 Many Muslim parents today (converts as well as those born into Islam) discipline their children according to their family’s cultural traditions rather than Islamic culture. Some of these traditional methods may be appropriate Islamically--others may not.   Muslims are generally fervent in wanting their children to grow up as obedient and God fearing Muslims. Sometimes this passion can lead to excesses and even transgressions when disciplining. One of the most common present day customary methods of training children is the use of corporal punishment.

 

Few or no Resources

When I first became Muslim, I was one of those parents who used physical discipline on a regular basis. I had only my family background to use as a reference point when raising my children.

There were no English Islamic books written at the time which provided New Muslim parents with Islamically based methods of child discipline . . . at least none that I knew of.

          And when I observed those around me, I noticed that some Muslim parents found little hesitation in slapping their children in the face. Calling children derogatory names wasn’t off the list either. So as a new Muslim convert, to me, my methods of disciplining my children seemed normal and not contrary to Islam.

Alhamdullilah, presently, a host of Islamic books, articles, lectures, aswell as websites and blogs offer Muslim parents guidance as to how we as Muslims should direct our children toward proper behavior. These teachings explain that the Quran and our Prophet Muhammad (saw) discouraged harsh discipline, hitting in the face, and the use of disparaging remarks when correcting children.

Things have changed greatly, by the Mercy of Allah, from those decades eons ago when I began raising my family. There is an abundance of parenting information on the negative effectives of being excessively harsh when disciplining our children from both Islamic as well as secular sources.  

This book, How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way introduces parents to some of the Islamic references that suggest the manner in which we should instruct our children. It raises parents’ awareness to the possibility that many of the methods they may be using to manage their child’s behavior may be a result of cultural habit, rather than religious instruction. There are many examples from the Prophet’s (saw) manner of correcting that guide us to the conclusion that when disciplining our children, we should be patient, kind and gentle.

I’m sure many of you are thinking about the hadith that mentions hitting your children at 10 if they don’t pray.  Don’t worry— we will discuss that later in the book, Insha’Allah. Many parents might also be wondering—how do you raise a child without hitting him. That is somewhat beyond the scope of this book. However, suffice it to say there are loads of ways to correct children without hitting and shouting at them. You can find over 25 ways to discipline your child without hitting or shouting in my e-book Discipline without Disrespecting:; Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. www.grandmajeddah.com

May Allah bless us all to use teaching methods that are most pleasing to Him, when raising our children to be good Muslims.

Order and read the entire book and view the entire video today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/How-to-Discipline-Children-the-Islamic-Way-Video-e-Book-129.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Raising children in Islam - Mufti Menk (Dammam Lecture)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt-jfip6XGo&spfreload=5

Marvelous video!

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

How to Discipline Your Child the Islamic Way? By: Grandma Jeddah

Have you ever wondered--How to Discipline Your Child the Islamic Way?
Here is a start in the right direction, insha'Allah:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJEvu3ZYnc

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Young son won’t be still in salat (By Grandma Jeddah)

Young son won’t be still in salat

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most

Challenging Discipline Problems

My husband takes my 5-year-old to the masjid with him sometimes for salat. My husband says that he always moves around and won’t be still in line. We want him to take salat seriously. How should we handle his restlessness during salat?

May Allah reward you for wanting to raise your son up to be conscientious of his prayers. I wouldn’t worry much about his moving around a lot in prayer. The Prophet (saw) said to have them begin praying at 7 years old, according to hadith.  He hasn’t matured to that level yet. Right now, he is simply being exposed to it, and that’s good. Let him enjoy making the prayer rather than making it something that he has to seriously adhere to.  This will help retain his desire to continue to go.  The Prophet (saw) was extremely lenient with his grandsons: There is a hadith in which the Prophet (saw) allowed his grandsons to climb on his back during salat while he was in sujud. (Bukhari)

Many children like to imitate their parents, so when your son sees you and your husband praying, he will likely develop a desire to begin imitating both of you, insha’Allah. Children take in and retain a lot of information through example during this time period. At this stage, he is learning mostly through example. Your sincere concern for prayer will likely transfer over to him, insha’Allah.

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html.

Is Your Child Being Bullied at School? By Grandma Jeddah

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most

Challenging Discipline Problems

6-year-old son bullied at school

Some of the children at my son’s school are bullying him and I don’t know how to handle it. I told him yesterday that we will go for a haircut today and he vehemently protested, almost to the point of tears. So I sat him down and asked why he didn’t want his hair cut. His first reason was that it made him feel cold especially after making wudu. His second was that some boys—4 of them—chased him and hit him on the head. They refuse to stop when he asks them to and then they laugh when he cries. I felt sorry for him but what to do? How to handle it? I thought of either telling their mothers or their teachers but that might just make the situation worse for him.

I’m sorry to hear about the problem you are having with your son being bullied. No one wants to know that their child is being mistreated. Hearing this from your son can be distressing. May Allah reward you for seeking out positive ways of trying to handle what your son is experiencing. May Allah guide you to the best solutions and resolve the problem for you.

Commend your son for coming to you with his problem. You want him to continue confiding in you with his problems as he gets older. This will allow you to develop an amicable and constructive relationship with him that will be extremely beneficial during his adolescent and teen years, insha’Allah.  Listen with concern, and understanding.  Be supportive. Avoid overreacting, as this can cause your son to become hesitant in confiding in you in the future. It seems from your letter that you are responding to your son’s problem in a constructive manner.

Here are several suggestions to help your son with bullying:

First, let your son’s teacher know about what your child is telling you. Your concern that the bullying may get worse is a legitimate one. However, making the teacher aware is still preferable for several reasons. First, you can find out if there is another side to the story. This is not to imply that your son is not telling the truth. Perhaps the children start out playing and then end up becoming to rough or some other scenario exists that isn’t clearly bullying behavior.  Or, the situation could simply be just as your son described. If the teacher is aware of the situation and has observed interactions between your son and the other boys, this will give you a more in depth understanding regarding the bullying situation, thus, lead you to ways of dealing with your son’s problem.

Second, if the teacher is unaware of the bullying, then your informing her can help eliminate or at least minimize the bullying. Once the teacher has been informed of the problem, she can then implement strategies to resolve the problem.

After informing the teacher, periodically ask your son how things are going at school in an attempt to elicit information about the bullying. In a casual way you can even ask him if the boys are still bullying him. If it is continuing, speak with the teacher again. If this brings little change, talk with the principal. Inform him that you talked to the teacher about your son’s bullying problem, but it’s still continuing and what should you do now.

There are also a few things you can do to help your son self-manage the bullying behavior to some degree, insha’Allah.

Teach him how to be assertive. When his school mates hit him, tell him to speak firmly and loudly “Stop! I don’t like that.” or “I’m not playing anymore.” Or “No, stop that!” You can have coaching sessions at home in which you role play the bully and bullied, teaching your son words and phrases to use when he is being bullied.

Also tell him it’s OK and even encouraged to tell authority figures at school about his being teased or hit. Tell him to inform his teacher, the yard-duty aid, or whichever adult can take care of the situation. It’s harder to be a bully when you’re being observed by school personnel.

Remind your son to avoid playing with or being around the boys that are bullying him. Encourage him to find friends he can be with who don’t treat him mean. Encourage him to stay with these friends at recess or after school. Bullies are less likely to bully when their intended victim is in a group.

Another helpful thing you can do is enroll your son in martial arts. Knowing self defense techniques can help build self-esteem which can help your son carry himself in a more assertive and confident manner. In addition, it can give him the skills he needs to fight back, if needed.

Also, if not cutting your son’s hair will help eliminate him from appearing different around his pears that are bullying, then you might opt out of giving him a haircut. Sometimes bullies pick on children that are different. Not all children can change their “differences.” But some differences can be changed or avoided. Where to draw the line on conceding to conforming behavior is a personal decision.

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html

Excerpt from-- 

Discipline Pearls

For Your Most

Challenging Discipline Problems

6-year-old son bullied at school

Some of the children at my son’s school are bullying him and I don’t know how to handle it. I told him yesterday that we will go for a haircut today and he vehemently protested, almost to the point of tears. So I sat him down and asked why he didn’t want his hair cut. His first reason was that it made him feel cold especially after making wudu. His second was that some boys—4 of them—chased him and hit him on the head. They refuse to stop when he asks them to and then they laugh when he cries. I felt sorry for him but what to do? How to handle it? I thought of either telling their mothers or their teachers but that might just make the situation worse for him.

I’m sorry to hear about the problem you are having with your son being bullied. No one wants to know that their child is being mistreated. Hearing this from your son can be distressing. May Allah reward you for seeking out positive ways of trying to handle what your son is experiencing. May Allah guide you to the best solutions and resolve the problem for you.

Commend your son for coming to you with his problem. You want him to continue confiding in you with his problems as he gets older. This will allow you to develop an amicable and constructive relationship with him that will be extremely beneficial during his adolescent and teen years, insha’Allah.  Listen with concern, and understanding.  Be supportive. Avoid overreacting, as this can cause your son to become hesitant in confiding in you in the future. It seems from your letter that you are responding to your son’s problem in a constructive manner.

Here are several suggestions to help your son with bullying:

First, let your son’s teacher know about what your child is telling you. Your concern that the bullying may get worse is a legitimate one. However, making the teacher aware is still preferable for several reasons. First, you can find out if there is another side to the story. This is not to imply that your son is not telling the truth. Perhaps the children start out playing and then end up becoming to rough or some other scenario exists that isn’t clearly bullying behavior.  Or, the situation could simply be just as your son described. If the teacher is aware of the situation and has observed interactions between your son and the other boys, this will give you a more in depth understanding regarding the bullying situation, thus, lead you to ways of dealing with your son’s problem.

Second, if the teacher is unaware of the bullying, then your informing her can help eliminate or at least minimize the bullying. Once the teacher has been informed of the problem, she can then implement strategies to resolve the problem.

After informing the teacher, periodically ask your son how things are going at school in an attempt to elicit information about the bullying. In a casual way you can even ask him if the boys are still bullying him. If it is continuing, speak with the teacher again. If this brings little change, talk with the principal. Inform him that you talked to the teacher about your son’s bullying problem, but it’s still continuing and what should you do now.

There are also a few things you can do to help your son self-manage the bullying behavior to some degree, insha’Allah.

Teach him how to be assertive. When his school mates hit him, tell him to speak firmly and loudly “Stop! I don’t like that.” or “I’m not playing anymore.” Or “No, stop that!” You can have coaching sessions at home in which you role play the bully and bullied, teaching your son words and phrases to use when he is being bullied.

Also tell him it’s OK and even encouraged to tell authority figures at school about his being teased or hit. Tell him to inform his teacher, the yard-duty aid, or whichever adult can take care of the situation. It’s harder to be a bully when you’re being observed by school personnel.

Remind your son to avoid playing with or being around the boys that are bullying him. Encourage him to find friends he can be with who don’t treat him mean. Encourage him to stay with these friends at recess or after school. Bullies are less likely to bully when their intended victim is in a group.

Another helpful thing you can do is enroll your son in martial arts. Knowing self defense techniques can help build self-esteem which can help your son carry himself in a more assertive and confident manner. In addition, it can give him the skills he needs to fight back, if needed.

Also, if not cutting your son’s hair will help eliminate him from appearing different around his pears that are bullying, then you might opt out of giving him a haircut. Sometimes bullies pick on children that are different. Not all children can change their “differences.” But some differences can be changed or avoided. Where to draw the line on conceding to conforming behavior is a personal decision.

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html