Muslim organization established to support Muslim children with disabilities

March is National Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Month

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah,

If you have a loved one who has an intellectual or developmental disability you might be interested in Muhsen. They are a wonderful organization that can provide useful resources for caregivers and children who are disabled. This is their Mission Statement:

Muhsen is a non – profit umbrella organization serving the community to establish a more inclusive “Special Friendly” environment for our Brothers & Sisters of all Disabilities. 

Muhsen will advocate, educate, train and implement programs and services nationwide to improve access to Masajids for Disabled and Special Needs individuals as well as acceptance and inclusion by the community in all aspects. https://muhsen.org/

Learn how to make your home a more peaceful place for both you and your child. Discover over 2 dozen tips on how to manage your child's behavior without hitting or shouting. Read Grandma Jeddah's e-book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Buy her e-book now at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

What is a Special Need?

To encourage parents to learn more about developmental disabilities like cognitive disability (formerly mental retardation), and autism, Grandma Jeddah will be posting throughout this month excerpts from her e-book Your Challenging Muslim Child with Special Needs, insha'Allah.

What is a Special Need?

Special needs is a broad term used to describe a wide variety of conditions or disabilities that certain people may be affected by and need assistance with. It is a condition in which a person has special requirements due to a learning, emotional, behavioral, or physical disability.  Individuals with special needs might need assistance for medical, mental, psychological or health problems.  Assistance can be in the form of special arrangements or accommodations, special education services, specialized services and support, or monitoring. The following is an incomplete list of disabilities that fall under the term of special needs:

·         Learning disabilities

·         Food allergies

·         Terminal illness

·         Motor disabilities

·         Visual impairment

·         Hearing impairment

·         Autism

·         Mental retardation/Cognitive disability

·         Alzheimer’s

·         Paralysis

·         Epilepsy

·         Cerebral palsy

·         Diabetes

·         Downs syndrome

 

What is a Disability

The definition of a disability varies depending on whom you ask and what agency is defining it. In essence, it refers to a person who has limited,  impaired, or a lack of ability to perform as most others do in the areas of a person’s  physical, learning, language, or behavioral areas. Essentially, a disability is a special need that an individual has. It might be said the terms are synonymous.  Disabilities can be caused by genetics, an accident, or unspecified causes. A disability can occur at any time in a person's life. It may begin in a fetus within the mother’s womb or in an elderly person who develops Alzheimer’s.

What is a Developmental Disability?

Similar to a disability, a developmental disability is a condition in which a person is impaired or lacks the ability to perform as most others do. The distinguishing factor between a disability and a developmental disability is that a developmental disability begins during the developmental period of a child. Thus, it is a condition that initially affects a child. However, the impact can and often does last throughout a person’s lifetime. A few examples of the most common developmental disabilities include autism, ADHD, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome and intellectual disabilities.

            Although a wide variety of developmental disabilities exist, in this book I will focus on primarily five, as these are the disabilities I have most extensive and ongoing experience with. These five disabilities are learning disabilities, mental retardation/cognitive disabilities, autism, ADHD and Tourettes syndrome. All five are developmental disabilities. Even though my primary focus will relate to these five disabilities, the information contained in this book can certainly be used for children with other special needs.

            Throughout this book, I will use all three terms--special needs, disability, and developmental disability—synonymously.

More excerpts continued, insha'Allah


Please click here to order http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Your-Challenging-Muslim-Child-with-Special-Needs-135.htm

My knowledge of special needs began over 30 years ago (By Grandma Jeddah)

To encourage parents to learn more about developmental disabilities like cognitive disability (formerly mental retardation), and autism Grandma Jeddah will be posting throughout this month excerpts from her e-book Your Challenging Muslim Child with Special Needs, insha'Allah.

Introduction

My knowledge of special needs began over 30 years ago with a student I had in a class soon after I began teaching. He was unruly, belligerent and was a complete behavior problem. I didn’t know what to do with him. It was then that someone introduced to me the incentive/reward system for managing discipline problems with children.  I used it halfheartedly, my personal upbringing told me that the child was simply bad, and that was that. I resented having to do anything extra to manage this child’s behavior—why should I—he was the one who had the problem, not me.  And, after all –I was the teacher and should be obeyed. My ideas on who was responsible for the problem didn’t change the situation I was experiencing with the child. It may have only made me more indignant.

       

     I had several other students with varying behavioral problems over the following years since my first experience with that student. However, the children with special needs who had the greatest impact on me were those I managed at home--my own children.  It would be nearly fifteen years after my initial exposure to that student with the behavioral problems that I’d come to realize that the incentive/reward system I’d been exposed to decades prior was a valuable tool to use for my special needs students--as well as my own children at home. I appreciated this system even more as I came to learn of the challenges and difficulties children with developmental disabilities struggle with on a daily basis. 

           

I’d been planning to write this book for a long time. I made many mistakes over the years when managing both my students and my own children with special needs. Through trial and error and extensive research, Allah has blessed me with a wealth of practical experience and knowledge that has been enormously helpful and resourceful for managing my students and raising my children with special needs. I hope some of my experiences and wisdom expressed in this book will be a great means of support and help for other parents searching for help and solutions in managing their children with special needs.

         

   Keep in mind this book is in no way definitive by any means. It provides parents with practical introductory information on common disabilities that frequently contribute to behavioral problems with children. It also provides parents with practical advice on how to manage these special children to receive more desirable behavior from them. After completing this book, parents are encouraged to use this book as a jumping board to leap into the pool of knowledge available on special needs, discipline, and positive parenting. I have provided a list of helpful resources at the end of this book.

        

    Many of the suggestions given in this book on nurturing, managing, and disciplining children with special needs are fundamentals—develop a loving and caring relationship with your child and you will have a child who is more willing to comply with your regulations.  Help your child feel needed and wanted. Provide your child with the emotional support she needs, and you will find the relationship between you and your child improve phenomenally by leaps and bounds. You will find your household a much more peaceful and loving home. Fundamentals indeed—a reminder is good for the believer.

More excerpts continued, insha'Allah

Please click here to order  Your Challenging Muslim Child with Special Needs

Managing Your Child with a Special Need

To encourage parents to learn more about developmental disabilities like cognitive disability (formerly mental retardation), and autism Grandma Jeddah will be posting throughout this month excerpts from her e-book Your Challenging Muslim Child with Special Needs, insha'Allah.

Managing Your Child with a Special Need

Chapter 4 

Managing Your Child with a Learning Disability or Cognitive Disability

Get Help if Concerned

Most parents sense when something just isn’t right with their child. A mother may notice her child is behind the norm in her ability to speak by age two.  Or she may observe her child’s inability to say her name when asked at age four.  A mother might find that her child still hasn’t learned the names of colors at age six even though she’d been taught them for an entire school year.   When suspicion regarding your child’s intellectual ability lasts for a long duration and occurs frequently, your concerns might be worth looking into. There is help available.  The earlier help is sought, the sooner you can obtain the proper knowledge about your child's abilities and developmental stages.   This will allow you to act with an informed perspective.   Lack of information can result in your child suffering due to unrealistic expectations from you and others. Your perceptions of your child’s failure to comply may actually be her inability to fulfill your orders.

Knowing your child’s true condition can be the first step in lifting the weight you are carrying when trying to raise your child who is different.  Take note, there are other conditions such as hearing and seeing problems that can mimic symptoms of cognitive disability and learning disabilities.  If you are observing in your child, a significant number of traits mentioned in chapter 1 under children with learning disabilities or cognitive disabilities, be sure to contact a doctor or other health professional to assist you in diagnosing these problems in your child.  Of course, not all children with learning disabilities or a cognitive disability will experience some or all of these characteristics. Each child is different. 

      Often, when parents notice their child exhibiting behaviors descriptive of intellectual disabilities they grow concerned but are hesitant to seek help. This reluctance can be due to several reasons, among them fear of what the results may determine. Also, parents may not know whom they should present their questions to.  And then some parents refuse to accept that their child is exhibiting abnormal behavior.  However, once parents conclude that their child indeed does have a special need, they can then resolve to move ahead and attempt to find appropriate ways to manage their child’s disability. It can be a relief to know that your child’s unusual behaviors actually have a label or name that explains the peculiarity. It can also be reassuring to learn that you are not alone and other parents have children who share similar tendencies as your child.

            The importance of first, acknowledging your child’s disability, and then, learning about the aspects of her disability is crucial for the proper management of your child. A mother who refuses to accept that her child has irregular learning patterns or behaviors is less likely to seek out information on disabilities in general.   This lack of knowledge can cause some parents to misjudge a disabled child’s odd behavior for misconduct. Consequently, the child suffers unnecessarily through punishment, offensive remarks, and conditions that demand of her what she is incapable of executing.  Knowledge helps you understand why your child behaves as she does and what can be done about it.  Essentially, you learn how to manage your special child. 

Looks Can Be Deceiving

A common problem for some children with learning disabilities or mild to moderate cognitive disabilities is that they generally look “normal.”  Their physical features do not suggest there is anything different about them compared to children who are unaffected. You might be wondering how this can be a problem. It can be a problem because children with characteristic features that signify they have a disability are expected by those who associate with them, to behave in unconventional ways—even if their disability doesn’t warrant irregular behavior. Whereas, children who look “normal” are expected to act normal. And when they don’t, their strange behavior often leads to frequent misunderstandings and mislead assumptions on the part of those with whom these children come in contact.   Because of their normal appearance, the child’s inferior social skills or other odd behavior might be mistaken for rudeness, immaturity, or attention seeking behavior.  It can also mistakenly be perceived as a result of poor parenting.   

More excerpts continued, insha'Allah


Please click here to order  Your Challenging Muslim Child with Special Needs

Attachment & Reactive Attachment Disorders (From Help Guide.org)

Attachment & Reactive Attachment Disorders

Does your baby show any of these Signs and symptoms:

• Avoids eye contact
• Doesn’t smile
• Doesn’t reach out to be picked up
• Rejects your efforts to calm, soothe, and connect
• Doesn’t seem to notice or care when you leave them alone

• Cries inconsolably
• Doesn’t coo or make sounds
• Doesn’t follow you with his or her eyes
• Isn’t interested in playing interactive games or playing with toys
• Spend a lot of time rocking or comforting themselves

Does your older child show any of these common signs and symptoms?

§  An aversion to touch and physical affection. Children with reactive attachment disorder often flinch, laugh, or even say “Ouch” when touched. Rather than producing positive feelings, touch and affection are perceived as a threat.

§  Control issues. Most children with reactive attachment disorder go to great lengths to remain in control and avoid feeling helpless. They are often disobedient, defiant, and argumentative.

§  Anger problems. Anger may be expressed directly, in tantrums or acting out, or through manipulative, passive-aggressive behavior. Children with reactive attachment disorder may hide their anger in socially acceptable actions, like giving a high five that hurts or hugging someone too hard.

§  Difficulty showing genuine care and affection. For example, children with reactive attachment disorder may act inappropriately affectionate with strangers while displaying little or no affection towards their parents.

§  An underdeveloped conscience. Children with reactive attachment disorder may act like they don’t have a conscience and fail to show guilt, regret, or remorse after behaving badly.

If your child shows any of these signs they might have Insecure Attachment or Reactive Attachment Disorder. Please read this article for more information:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/  and  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html

An inspiring poem for mothers or caregivers of children with disabilities

An inspiring poem for mothers or caregivers of children with disabilities

I AM THE CHILD (Author Unknown) 

I am the child who cannot talk. 
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. 
You wonder how much I am aware of -- I see that as well. 
I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or fearful, 
patient or impatient, full of love and desire, 
or if you are just doing your duty by me. 
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs,
or comments about the world about me.
I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards -- great strides in
development that you can credit yourself;
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable -- I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder,
seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.
I am the child who cannot walk.
The world seems to pass me by.
You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children.
There is much you take for granted.
I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I've dropped my fork again.
I am dependent on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.
I am the child who cannot walk.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick,
what I do know is infinite joy in simple things.
I am not burdened as you are with the strife's and conflicts of a more complicated life.
My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child,
to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I am the disabled child.
I am your teacher. If you allow me,
I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.
I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams.
I teach you giving.
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  order her books or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --

http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/        http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Test of Children with Special Needs by Grandma Jeddah

Test of Children with Special Needs

by Grandma Jeddah

There is no doubt--raising a child with special needs can be more challenging, stressful and exhausting than raising a child with normal range functioning.  As a Muslim, however, we know that the greater the test the greater the reward.  Raising a child with special needs gives you an opportunity to get so many blessings and rewards.  This is because you have to reach deep, down into your reserve of patience and tolerance to manage your child’s quirky mannerisms, outlandish behavior, and excessive dependence upon you.   Not to mention, you sometimes have to cope with uninformed, disapproving, and intolerant friends, relatives and strangers. So remember the following when you feel like you’re losing control of your household—and your sanity:

مَا عِندَكُمْ يَنفَدُ وَمَا عِندَ اللّهِ بَاقٍ وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّ الَّذِينَ صَبَرُواْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ

"And those who are patient, we will certainly pay them a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do." (Quran 16:96).

"If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Bukhari).

قُلْ لَنْ يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَانَا ۚ وَعَلَى

اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ

"Say: Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Lord and Protector, and in Allah let the believers put their trust." (Quran 9: 51).

Use the difficult moments as opportunities to get closer to your Lord.  Seek help from Him often.

دَعَاهُ وَيَكْشِفُ السُّوءَ وَيَجْعَلُكُمْ خُلَفَاءَ الْأَرْضِ أَمَّنْ يُجِيبُ الْمُضْطَرَّ إِذَا   

"Is it not He who responds to the distressed one when he calls Him (better than your gods.)"

 (Quran 27: 62)

But also keep in mind that your child’s disabilities and eccentric behavior may very well have some positive aspects that you are simply unaware of.  Perhaps it’s a blessing from Allah that He has not made known to you. Perhaps it is Allah’s way of guaranteeing your child paradise.

Narrated 'Ata bin Abi Rabah: Ibn 'Abbas said to me, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet (saw) said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.' She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her." (Bukhari 7:555)



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Disciplining Your Special Needs Child (The Special Needs Child)

Disciplining Your Special Needs Child (The Special Needs Child)
http://www.the-special-needs-child.com/Before-disciplining.html


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 11 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Every Child is Special: Tips to Empower Children with Special Needs (Effective Islamic Parenting)

Every Child is Special: Tips to Empower Children with Special Needs (Effective Islamic Parenting)

http://www.effectiveislamicparenting.com/2012/11/every-child-is-special-tips-to-empower-children-with-special-needs/


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 11 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Teaching Your Child with Autism (Autism Sparks)

Teaching Your Child with Autism (Autism Sparks)
http://www.autismsparks.com/public/resources/AS-ebook.pdf

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 11 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Connecting with Your Child (Autism Sparks)

Connecting with Your Child (Autism Sparks)
http://www.autismsparks.com/public/Intensive-Play.cfm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 11 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

7 Tips for Parenting your ADHD Child (Raising Small Souls)

7 Tips for Parenting your ADHD Child (Raising Small Souls)
http://raisingsmallsouls.com/seven-tips-for-parenting-your-adhd-child/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 11 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Order her parenting e-books or subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Special Parenting for Special Needs Children By: Grandma Jeddah

Children with learning disabilities and mild to moderate mental retardation are often looked upon as “normal” because many don't look like there's anything different about them on the outside. This leads to many misunderstandings and mislead assumptions on the part of those whom these children come in contact with.   Because of their normal appearance, the children’s behavior is mistaken, for rudeness, immaturity, or attention seeking behavior.  It is also mistakenly perceived as a result of poor parenting.   Few outsiders understand the difficult struggle these children live daily, dealing with constant disappointment and failures, knowing they don’t understand things that others grasp easily, tripping over their feet while others don’t, stumbling over words, and constantly being asked to repeat themselves for clarification.  Failure is their constant companion.  Many develop strong wills as a result of their continuous struggles to cope with their clumsiness, misplaced comments, mispronounced words and other idiosyncrasies.

            Likewise, few understand the enormous challenge parents of such children experience.  It is particularly important for parents to educate themselves of their child’s disability so they can understand their child better and learn the special techniques needed to handle such children. In addition, it is wise to seek out parenting groups, support groups and other helpful resources for moral support.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at www.grandmajeddah.com