Saturday, December 24, 2016

Intellectual Disability and Mental Illness Distinction Chart (Intellectual Disability Rights Service)

Easy Chart for Distinguishing Intellectual Disability and Mental Retardation
If you are interested in clearer and more specific information on the difference between Intellectual Disability and Mental Illness you will find an easy to follow chart at the link below.
http://www.idrs.org.au/s32/_guide/p040_4_2_IDandMI.php#.WF8_sfnyvcs

To be continued, insha'Allah.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Thursday, December 15, 2016

What is the Difference Between Mental Illness and Mental Retardation? (By Grandma Jeddah)

Do you know the difference between Mental Illness and Mental Retardation (Cognitive Disability)?


Many people confuse mental retardation and mental illness or think they are the same. A child with a cognitive disability has below-average intelligence or mental ability and a lack of skills necessary for day-to-day living. People with cognitive disabilities can and do learn new skills, but they learn them more slowly. There are different levels of mental retardation. Most people who have it have a mild case. This presents a host of problems for the child, in particular once they get older. Often times they look normal. But they might say and do things that irk people and lead to the disabled person not having many friends or positive social interactions with others.

For instance, a young adult with a cognitive disability might carelessly pick their nose and eat their buggers in front of others. Or they might say things in conversations that don't fit the setting. The 25-year-old might even suck their thumb around other young adults who are highly conscious of being socially accepted. One of the behaviors that really distances some disabled youth from their peers is their asinine personalty. This type of personality can be a result of the excessive and constant corrections, put downs, and negative comments that the disabled person has had to deal with for years since the were young. 

Which leads to my definition of mental illness, which is s a condition that affects a person's thinking, feeling or mood. Mental illness  affects a person's ability to relate to others and function each day. Anyone can have mental illness, a doctor, computer engineer, or religious person. Mental illness has nothing to do with one's intellectual abilities. 

People with cognitive disabilities, however, have one of the highest rates of mental illness. It is quite understandable when one understands the type of life many live. A person with a mild to moderate cognitive disability is very aware that they cannot understand and do things like others. They constantly see others "having a life" while their disability prevents them from participating in some of the day-to-day activities that other non-affected people indulge in. They are often left out of social activities because they just don't "fit" or they are embarrassing to those they are with. 

to be continued, insha'Allah....

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Message from the Principal (Brother Eric Ali)

Message from the Principal: 

(Brother Eric Ali)

When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children. During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine. Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Looking for Wonderful Wisdom and A+ Advice on Parenting Your Child? Read this. . .

 If you like the following fabulous quotes on parenting, you will relish the entire article, insha'Allah:

"Parenting is Easy. You don't have to work upon your children, but you have to work upon yourselves to see results in your children."

"If you want to teach math, then you have to master mathematics. If you want to teach good manners, then you have to be a master in manners yourself." 

"How you present a Sunnah is just as important as the Sunnah itself. If we have Sunnah to teach, then we should have certain methods to teach them as well, which sadly, many parents ignore. " Brother Nisaar Nadiadwala 


Read the entire article on the Islamic Online University Blog
http://blog.islamiconlineuniversity.com/parenting-cannot-be-delegated/

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

7 Musts for Misbehavior of Children with Special Needs (From IOU, by Grandma Jeddah)

7 Musts for Misbehavior of Children with Special Needs 
(From IOU, by Grandma Jeddah)
“Shut up! I hate you! You’re stupid!”–Of course these words aren’t spewing through the hallways, doors and windows of a Muslim family home. Muslims don’t talk like that. And they certainly must not be firing out of the mouth of a Muslim child. Muslim children respect their parents.  
Fortunately, the average Muslim parent will never have to bear such inappropriate words issuing from the mouth of their child. But not all Muslim families are average. Not all Muslim families have children with a rational mind or sensible temperament. Some Muslim families have children who are autistic, others have children with ADHD, and some have children with cognitive disabilities (mental retardation). “Meaningless labels and unacceptable excuses,” some of you might be saying with disdain.  
Read more of Grandma Jeddah's article from the Islamic Online University Blog:
http://blog.islamiconlineuniversity.com/7-musts-for-misbehavior-of-children-with-special-needs/



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Do You have an ANGRY Teen? (By Grandma Jeddah)

Excerpt From-- 

MOM
I’m STRESSED!
Stress Help for
Muslim Teens and Youth


By Grandma Jeddah

I Feel Angry
Your teacher just gave you a “D” on your history report! You know you deserved a better grade, and now you feel like telling her off.

It’s not easy controlling your emotions at times like this. But the reward for being patient and finding more positive and Islamic ways of expressing your frustrations is well worth the effort. There is great benefit in striving to be known as one who has patience. This can only be accomplished by developing a consistent record of being patient during hardship and trials.
There are many sites on the internet that you can read which will give suggestions on how to be more assertive when you feel you’ve been mistreated. Be sure to look them up after your reading. When you have acceptable ways of expressing your dissatisfaction, you won’t have to rely on your inappropriate expressions.

Here are encouraging words from Quran and hadith on how to manage moments of anger. You will also discover the many rewards and benefits of trying your best to be patient when someone does something to you that gets you fuming.  

1.    Two men disputed with each other in the presence of the Messenger of Allah and the nose of one of them became swollen because of extreme anger. The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “I know of some words that if he said them, what he feels will go away, [the words are] I seek refuge with Allah from the cursed Satan.' '' (Bukhari)

2.    Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (saw) counseled a man who asked for his advice and told him three times “Don’t get angry.” (Bukhari) According to scholars, this means don’t act upon your anger, as everyone gets angry.

3.    According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down. (Abu Dawud)

4.    Narrated Abu Musa “Some people asked the Prophet (saw), “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (who is a very good Muslim?) He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands. (Bukhari) Know that you might be
Accountable on the Day of Judgment for the way in which you treat others.         

5.    According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said that Allah has said: “O son of Adam! If you remained patient restraining yourself and expecting my reward at the initial shock, I will not be happy without rewarding you with Jannah.”  


6.    We all desire companionship at some time or another. We are also sometimes in need of others’ assistance. In Quran 2:153 Our Lord informs us: “Allah is with the patient.” What greater companion can one have?  People sometimes let us down. They may fail us and at times not have the means or ability to help us.  Allah, on the other hand, is completely Self-Sufficient.  What a blessing to have Allah as our Companion, Maintainer and Provider.

7.    The Creator of the heavens and the earth has given us a formula for finding solutions to our tribulations. And part of the solution is having patience. Allah says in Quran 2:45: “And seek help through patience and prayer.”

When you feel you’re at your wits end with your parents’ demands your friend’s rude and hurtful remarks, seek help for your troubles with patience and prayer.

8.    To be loved is a warm and comfortable feeling. But what about the enormous blessing of being loved by Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High! Quran 3:146 says, “And Allah loves the patient." What an honor . . . to be loved by The Most High! Another beautiful hadith about Allah’s love goes as follows:

The Prophet (saw) said: “When Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High, loves someone, He calls Jibreel and says, (Oh Jibreel!) Verily, I love such and such a person, so love him!)’ ”

And Allah names that person and then Jibreel loves that person. Then Jibreel calls out to all the angels of the heavens and he says, “Allah loves so and so, so love him!” And so all the angels love him. And then Allah places pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person!”

According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said, “. . .  no one is granted a gift better and more comprehensive than patience." (Bukhari and Muslim)


(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/





Monday, October 17, 2016

Plastic surgery for girls as young as 13 (By Grandma Jeddah)

Today, girls as young 13 are getting cosmetic surgery. One statistics states that 64,000 teens get plastic surgery each year. Here is an enlightening excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-book, Mom I’m Stressed: Stress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth


Excerpt From-- 

MOM
I’m STRESSED!
Stress Help for
Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

 I Feel Unattractive

Standing in line at the market, you glance over at the glossy magazines glimmering with toothy models . . . complexions flawless, figures perfect, hair shimmering and smiles sparkling! How wonderful life would be if you had such beauty, you wonder to yourself . . . your self-image takes a deep nose dive south.  

Anyone who has ever seen a movie or commercial, or thumbed through a fashion magazine, or even seen a billboard ad has been influenced to believe that a certain type of “look” is beautiful while other types of “looks” are unattractive.

There’s an old saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is much wisdom in this statement. Just less than a century ago, a round, plump woman was considered attractive and very much desired. The concept of beauty is one that changes and varies based upon the time period and location one finds him or herself in.
A famous actress known for her “beauty” once gave a marvelous piece of wisdom. She said something to the effect that her attractiveness had much to do with her accentuating her positive features and actually covering or not highlighting her not so flattering features. Avoid focusing on body features you are displeased with. Most everyone has something about their body they dislike as well as aspects that fit present day attractive standards. This could be one’s voice, hair, height, shape, feet, eyelashes, eyebrows, smooth or blemishless complexion, the list is endless. Focus on these aspects of yourself and accentuate them.
Bare in mind that most all models and celebrities splashed across magazine covers and movie screens have had some form of cosmetic surgery. And then even the photos have been air brushed to remove imperfections. What you see is not reality--it is fake. The images are virtually impossible to achieve.
That being said, know, that “attractiveness” can be a gift as well as a trial. And it certainly isn’t a determining factor of whether or not one will be “successful” in this worldly life. It is truly Allah The Most High who grants success.

A greater and nobler matter to concern one’s self with than beauty is related to the following ayat:
 "Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you." (Quran: 49:13)

Living in the materialistic societies in which we live, it is so easy to become deluded and misled to believe that such superficial and insignificant matters such as beauty should be our primary concern.  The above ayat makes clear what should be most important to us.

Our primary focus should be trying to please Allah and working on becoming one of the most righteous. This will give us success in this world as well as the hereafter.

Also, know that if you fail to resemble the air brushed, phony images that you see in the movies, on TV and in magazines, don’t let it deflate your self-image and sadden you. Feel content in knowing that Allah tests the one he loves. Your feelings of inferiority (although not warranted) may be a trial from Allah to purify you and bring you closer to Him.

Remember too, that having attractive features is only one “blessing” that Allah may give someone. There are countless others which you may own that Allah has not given the one who has beauty. A few examples are the ability to receive high academic grades, having a happy family life, good health, certain skills and abilities, and the list goes on and on.

And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (Quran: 14:34)

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/




Today, girls as young 13 are getting cosmetic surgery. One statistics states that 64,000 teens get plastic surgery each year. Here is an enlightening excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-book, Mom I’m Stressed: Stress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth


Excerpt From-- 

MOM
I’m STRESSED!
Stress Help for
Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

 I Feel Unattractive

Standing in line at the market, you glance over at the glossy magazines glimmering with toothy models . . . complexions flawless, figures perfect, hair shimmering and smiles sparkling! How wonderful life would be if you had such beauty, you wonder to yourself . . . your self-image takes a deep nose dive south.  

Anyone who has ever seen a movie or commercial, or thumbed through a fashion magazine, or even seen a billboard ad has been influenced to believe that a certain type of “look” is beautiful while other types of “looks” are unattractive.

There’s an old saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is much wisdom in this statement. Just less than a century ago, a round, plump woman was considered attractive and very much desired. The concept of beauty is one that changes and varies based upon the time period and location one finds him or herself in.
A famous actress known for her “beauty” once gave a marvelous piece of wisdom. She said something to the effect that her attractiveness had much to do with her accentuating her positive features and actually covering or not highlighting her not so flattering features. Avoid focusing on body features you are displeased with. Most everyone has something about their body they dislike as well as aspects that fit present day attractive standards. This could be one’s voice, hair, height, shape, feet, eyelashes, eyebrows, smooth or blemishless complexion, the list is endless. Focus on these aspects of yourself and accentuate them.
Bare in mind that most all models and celebrities splashed across magazine covers and movie screens have had some form of cosmetic surgery. And then even the photos have been air brushed to remove imperfections. What you see is not reality--it is fake. The images are virtually impossible to achieve.
That being said, know, that “attractiveness” can be a gift as well as a trial. And it certainly isn’t a determining factor of whether or not one will be “successful” in this worldly life. It is truly Allah The Most High who grants success.

A greater and nobler matter to concern one’s self with than beauty is related to the following ayat:
 "Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you." (Quran: 49:13)

Living in the materialistic societies in which we live, it is so easy to become deluded and misled to believe that such superficial and insignificant matters such as beauty should be our primary concern.  The above ayat makes clear what should be most important to us.

Our primary focus should be trying to please Allah and working on becoming one of the most righteous. This will give us success in this world as well as the hereafter.

Also, know that if you fail to resemble the air brushed, phony images that you see in the movies, on TV and in magazines, don’t let it deflate your self-image and sadden you. Feel content in knowing that Allah tests the one he loves. Your feelings of inferiority (although not warranted) may be a trial from Allah to purify you and bring you closer to Him.

Remember too, that having attractive features is only one “blessing” that Allah may give someone. There are countless others which you may own that Allah has not given the one who has beauty. A few examples are the ability to receive high academic grades, having a happy family life, good health, certain skills and abilities, and the list goes on and on.

And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (Quran: 14:34)

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/




Sunday, October 9, 2016

Does Your Teen Need Some Guidance? (By Grandma Jeddah)

Excerpt From-- 

MOM
I’m STRESSED!
Stress Help for
Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

You heard it from friends and family when the kids were toddlers:

“You think the terrible twos are bad . . .  just wait until your kids reach their teens!”
Well now your kids are teens and boy were they right! You never imagined it would be this difficult.

Of course no isolated book--other than Quran--has all the solutions to help your teen with his or her life problems.  Grandma Jeddah’s  e-book, Mom, I’m stressed! Stress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth, guides your child back to the principles of Islam to solve their everyday stresses . . . and hopefully, make life a little bit easier for you, too, Mom!

With an Islamic perspective, Grandma Jeddah guides your child with practical steps for managing some of the most common problems youth are struggling with today, from drug use to feeling sad and depressed.

It’s well known that the present generation has no time for long drawn out explanations, so the book is quick and easy reading.  THe following is an excerpt from the book:


I Feel like Using Drugs and Alcohol

Your best friend smokes marijuana now. He’s been asking you to try it . . . as a matter of fact, he keeps asking you to try it. “What’s wrong with just one quick toke?” he asks you. “You’re really missing out”, he taunts. “It’s just having fun!”

You’re starting to second guess your own thoughts about refusing to try “weed”. Maybe if I just try it once they’ll leave me alone, you consider.  Consider this before you reconsider:
The harmful and long term devastating effects of using alcohol, taking drugs, or smoking marijuana are far too harmful to take the risk of trying it “just this one time”.
No one ever became addicted to marijuana without trying it once.  You might think you won’t get addicted. After all, your friend still gets good grades in school and beats you in basketball . . .  and he smokes weed.

Don’t be deceived by Shaitan’s deceptions. He works slowly and has plenty of time to lead you and your friend astray down the wrong path. Not many people would try drugs if they immediately saw the harmful effects of it right after someone used it. Visit a rundown area of your town where there are alleys and hangouts for homeless people who sleep on the ground. Not that all homeless people are drug addicts, but a significant number of people who have dropped out of mainstream society and live on the streets can directly link their situation to drug use. This type of disgraceful lifestyle is often the result of starting to use drugs during one’s youth.

 They ask you about alcoholic drink and gambling. Say: ‘In them is a great sin.’ (Quran 2:219)
1.    If you are finding difficulty avoiding drinking alcohol or using drugs, make du'a often, asking Allah to make you strong.

2.    Find a friend who isn’t involved in drinking or taking drugs. This will take away a significant amount of the pressure you are experiencing regarding trying drugs or alcohol.

3.    Drill into your brain that using drugs ruins people’s lives physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. It lessens drive and motivation to improve oneself in school, work and relationships.

4.    Don’t be persuaded by arguments that marijuana is Islamically lawful because it is not alcohol. Narrated by Umme-Salmah: The Prophet (saw) prohibited every intoxicant and muftir (every substance which slackens the mind). 

5.    O you who have believed!   ‘Khamr’ (all types of intoxicants) . . . are all terrible works of Shaitan; so, stay (far) away from these so that you may attain success. 
Shaitan only wants to cause between you animosity and hatred through intoxicants and gambling and to avert you from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer. So will you not give it up? (Quran 5: 90-91)

6.    Be aware that in many non-Muslim countries, marijuana is being legalized with the initial premise that it has medicinal properties. This has been the door opening for lawful recreational use of marijuana in certain states such as Colorado, USA. Even lollipops and cookies are being laced and sold with marijuana extract.  Because the amount of marijuana in these products is not regulated, the ingestion of these products has led to hospitalization and even death!

Don’t be deceived by Shaitan’s tricks and deception. Avoid using marijuana, alcohol and drugs.

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/


Sunday, October 2, 2016

6 Top Tips for Homeschool Success
By: Grandma Jeddah
(part 1)
“What have I gotten myself into?!” If you’re a homeschooling parent and find yourself pondering this question—a bit more often than not— here are 6 splendid ideas on how to help make homeschooling your kids a little easier, Insha’Allah.

1. Establish respectful discipline methods. Determine how to handle misbehavior and incomplete class work and homework assignments. Many teachers eagerly confide that often the greatest difficulty with teaching is managing behavior rather than teaching the material itself.

Knowing effective ways of managing your child’s misbehavior can help simplify the teaching process significantly. If you can get your child to cease talking, sit in his seat and follow along with your instructions, you will have accomplished a major part of your teaching job. There are loads of ways to respectfully encourage your child to comply with your directives. One remarkable way is delaying an exciting and desirable activity until the end of the class period or end of the day.

Let’s say you’re having science class and part of the lesson is to collect an assortment of leaves from outside. Children generally enjoy participating in outdoor activities. Remind your child that if he stays seated throughout the lesson and follows along in class, the two of you will be able to complete class a few minutes early and go outside to gather the leaves. Perchance he periodically still needs reminding, let him know, casually, that whenever you have to stop the lesson to correct him, this takes away from the extra time you two might have. This discipline technique not only encourages appropriate conduct, it also teaches your child to self-manage his own behavior. You accomplish two goals in one!
It is reported the Prophet (saw) said: Allah did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but he sent me to teach and make things easy. (Muslim)

2. Avoid reinventing the wheel. If you’re a novice and a bit nervous about taking on the admirable job of homeschooling your child, take the easy route when starting out. Although, some parents prefer designing their own learning materials for teaching, this may not be the best solution for you. There is an abundance of educational materials you can purchase for teaching most areas of study.
Educational materials including student texts and teacher’s editions ranging from arithmetic to science can be purchased online from academic textbook companies. There are publishers that specialize in educational materials for kindergarten through 12th grade. The fantastic thing about these companies is that you can purchase the student edition as well as the teacher’s edition. The teacher’s edition, of course, provides answers for your ease in teaching. But they also provide you with an assortment of lesson plans, teaching techniques, and extracurricular activities you can use when teaching your children. This can be invaluable when trying to manage on your own.

Alhamdulillah, you can even find Islamic learning materials for a variety of subjects. Susan Douglass has a book collection for grades Kindergarten through six. The set provides a great selection of Islamic based stories that include reading comprehension questions and lesson correlated activities. The titles can be found under Islamic School Book. Another fine educational selection is the Emaan Reading Series by Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips. This compilation of 58 paperback books provides wonderfully colorful and entertaining stories for children 6 through 9-years of age. The excellent aspect of these readers is that the vocabulary is specifically designed to be age appropriate.

If you’re still a little queasy about starting your homeschooling journey, here’s an even simpler way than searching out and purchasing your own materials-- join a homeschooling program online or in your area. You will get the moral support you need, and some programs even provide you with free materials! How about that for ease?

 If The Prophet (saw) had a choice between 2 halal things, he'd pick the easier one. (Bukhari)



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/



Friday, September 16, 2016

An Amazing Parenting Site

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu,

Recently I was introduced to an amazing parenting site authored by Brother Haroon Malik.  It is actually a parenting class. The  class reminds us of how seriously important our roll of parenting is. The brother provides abundant references from Quran and hadith to guide us toward becoming better Muslim parents and to hopefully raise Allah fearing children.

Here is a brief description of the course:

As a current or future Muslim Parent, it is an honor and a blessing from Allah to give us a child.
Prophet Muhammad wants his nation to have the highest number compared to other nations on the day of judgment.
It is our responsibility to learn what we are signing up for!
This course gets into the role of parenting and its importance in Islam. Ustadh Haroon truly brings you a comprehensive, results-producing parenting resource for today's Muslim parents.

You can learn more about the class here, insha'Allah: http://salamseminars.thinkific.com/courses/parenting-in-islam?ref=ca9584


More about Brother Haroon Malik

Haroon Malik is a father of three children and happily married for over 11 years. Haroon had the opportunity to lead AlMaghrib Institute’s Windsor tribe; attend the first batch of 10-month Bayyinah Institute’s Arabic intensive program; and lead multiple outreach campaigns for GainPeace (ICNA’s outreach) of billboards, buses, and booths. Since early college days, Haroon has been counseling youth from tweens, teenagers to University students. By profession, Haroon Malik comes from a Financial Reporting background and currently resides in Detroit, Michigan.

He is the founder of Camp Salam which is an organization whose mission is to bring a fun and active environment for families to get together and to empower them with strategies and tools for mastering and living life fully; everything from how to be motivated, change your mindset, being healthy and physically fit, being happy and productive, time management, cultivating relationships, spirituality, and much more! He strives to be a strong believer in making continual progress in each area of his life, to have lasting growth, and a strong relationship with Allah.
Camp Salam is an environment where you will learn confidence, leadership, and how to contribute to your community. Camp Salam is mainly targeted for families and young children. We believe in empowering you with the motivation and skills to stay physically fit, teaching you love for healthy food, nature and the outdoors, while connecting with our creator - all amidst the fun of camp fires, fitness boot camps, educational activities, sports, and meaningful relationships.


Salam Seminars which offers online courses and webinars related to topics of Family and Parenting, is a project of Camp Salam.

7 Must-Have Values Every Parent Should Teach Their Child – To Raise a Firm Believer (By Brother Haroon Malik)

7 Must-Have Values Every Parent Should Teach Their Child – To Raise a Firm Believer

Is my child going to be a good Muslim?
Will she put hijab on when she grows up?
Can I trust him with a cell phone at the age of ten?
I doing my job as a parent? Should I go back home?
What if…. How will I… What’s the best way to…

All of the above thoughts and questions come to the mind of a concerned Muslim parent. When a couple decides to have a baby, they know that having a child is a blessing but the magnitude of the challenge as a parent does not cross their mind at all.

To answer all of these questions and more will require a course to cover every little detail, but that is not the point of this post. As a mature man and woman, you know that life comes with lots of excitement and challenges. And if you had to write a book or even a cheat sheet for someone who is about to come into this world, there is no way you would be able to cover everything in a few pages. You would have to write an encyclopedia and that would still not be sufficient.

Parenting is one of those areas of your life that requires a lot of attention as it is about fulfilling the responsibility that was given to you by your creator. After discussing this with many fathers and mothers of different generations, there are some core values that we need to make sure we equip our children with.

We will be taking a brief look at 7 core values which, if they are tightened up and not left loose, will enable you to raise a sound and firm believer. We need a generation that can bring change and add value to our society. As you are reading about each of these seven core values, you’ll be asking yourself, what can I do to instill this value in my child? My advice is to ask yourself, do I have the nuts and bolts of this value tightened up? Because if you forget about yourself and only concentrate on your child, it would be a bigger loss as you and your child are going to come alone on the Day of Judgment in front of Allah.

This is not an overnight solution, but if you are looking for a way to bring change to yourself, your children, family, and society around you, then read on. Let’s get started!


1-  CONFIDENCE

Seek Honor in Islam


Seek Honor in Islam Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, left on a journey to Syria and with him was Abu Ubaida. They came upon a creek, so Umar dismounted from his camel, took off his sandals and placed them over his shoulder, and then led the camel over the creek. Abu Ubaida said, “O commander of the faithful, are you doing this? You have taken off your sandals and placed them on your back and you led the camel through the creek yourself. I do not think it will be easy for me to get the people of this country to honor you.” Umar said, “If only someone else had said this, O Abu Ubaida! I have made this a deterrent for the nation of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Verily, we were a disgraceful people and Allah honored us with Islam, so if we seek honor from other than Islam, then Allah will humiliate us.”

We tend to skip our daily prayers or even Friday prayers because we are worried we’ll get fired from our job. We will call ourselves Abe instead of Abdullah because we are shy to have a name that is not common in society. Sometimes we don’t wear hijab or grow a beard, knowing it is from our religion, because we are afraid that the guy or girl that we want to get married to might leave us if we associate ourselves with such “backwards” traditions. As a Slave who is trying to please Allah, we should be seeking honor in Islam and not in anything else, like the way our role model Umar bin Al-Khattab advised us. This value is important for us to instill in our kids so they are not seeking recognition in any other way. But remember, if they are seeing you as a hypocritical personality, where you tend to be Abdullah at the masjid and Abe when meeting neighbors, this could have a negative impact on your child’s personality. One of our goals as parents should be to not give mixed messages to our children. Otherwise, they’ll seek honor and attention somewhere else.

2- RESPONSIBLE

So Don’t Blame Me, but Blame Yourselves


Blame and excuses are the hallmarks of an unsuccessful life. In some of our Muslim cultures, and I can speak for myself, from a South Asian community, if something goes wrong in our lives, we blame our Chacha and Phupo (Uncle and Aunt) for doing black magic on us!

One responsibility that we have as a parent is to have our kids take responsibility for their actions. I will emphasize the point that we need to practice this ourselves. If our kids see father doing something wrong, but he never takes responsibility for it, then they will also have the trait of blaming everything on others.

It is a pattern in the lives of unsuccessful people to blame others and not take responsibility for their own actions. This type of attitude forces you to look at your life as a failure because you allowed yourself to be blown here and there, by any passing wind. And, you blamed the wind for how things turned out.

If you start taking responsibility for your own actions, you’ll start to do something about it. In fact, that is the mindset of an idol worshipper; one who doesn’t want to submit to Allah and make a change, so he or she turns to an idol hoping it will talk to Allah for his or her shortcomings.

It is enough for us to know what will happen on the Day of Judgment. Allah tells us in the Quran:

“And Shaitan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: ‘Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers).’ ” (Quran, Ibraaheem: 22)

So start taking responsibility for your own actions. Otherwise you’ll find yourself blaming others all of your life for your own laziness and shortcomings, while even Shaitan is telling us, “Don’t blame me, but blame yourselves.”

3- OPTIMISTIC

I Am as My Servant Thinks of Me

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’ ”
Positive thinking is a great quality of any human being. In order to be stress-free and be more effective, you’ll have to start thinking positively. Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you ignore life’s less pleasant situations. It means that your attitude towards unpleasant situations will be more positive and you’ll deal with them in a more productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

There is a negative attitude that has spread across the Muslim world. If we have trouble finding a job, we will blame society around us for being racist. If someone is going through hard times, we’ll assume Allah is punishing them because they are bad Muslims.
Allah is teaching us that we should always expect the best of Allah, meaning he will have mercy on you and will relieve you of hardship. He will forgive you if you seek forgiveness, will accept your repentance if you repent, will answer you if you supplicate, and will suffice you if you ask for something. We should call upon Allah while we are certain that we will be answered by him.

The mindset for us, and for our children, must be to fulfill his or her obligations while he or she is certain that Allah will accept his actions and forgive his sins and make his matters easier for him. So, whoever performs such a deed and believes and expects that Allah will not accept it and that it will not benefit him, this is despair from the Mercy of Allah, and is from the greatest of the major sins.

Most people assume the worst. Most people believe that they are deprived of their rights, have bad luck, deserve more than what Allah gave them, and it is as if they are saying: ‘My Lord has wronged me and deprived me of what I deserve,’ and his soul bears witness to this while his tongue denies it and refuses to openly state this. So ask yourself, are you protected from this type of mindset? This type of attitude is very destructive and we should try our best to keep our children from negativity and always think positive in all situations.
‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (radi Allahu anhu) said: “By the One besides Who none is worthy of worship, the believer is not given anything good better than his good expectations of Allah, and by the One besides Who none is worthy of worship, no servant of Allah expects good of Him except that Allah gives him what he expected, since all good is in His Hand.”  

4- FAITH

Mindset of a Slave


When the word “slave” is heard, immediately Muslims think about Guantanamo Bay or some Indians building tall structures for the Arab world! But have you thought about the time when you learned the first pillar of Islam which says, “I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah and I bear witness that Prophet Muhammad is his SLAVE and his messenger.”

If you pray five times a day, this phrase is repeated twice in each prayer. Let’s define what a slave truly is. In a nutshell, a slave is someone who does whatever his master tells him. He works for him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He doesn’t take time off or ask for compensation from his master. An employee, on the other hand, works for his or her employer, takes time off on weekends, takes vacation days, demands a salary, and can quit if he finds a better employer who will pay him more. A slave on the other hand can only be freed at his master’s will. A slave doesn’t own any property and doesn’t plan for himself.

It is an honor that Allah created us and gave us the opportunity to serve him as his slave. We can be a slave of Allah or a slave of his creation. We can write on and on about the topic of slavery in Islam, but always know that you are living your life according to the terms of your master. Your part is to find out what he wants from his righteous slaves. That can only be done by following his guidance from his book and the messengers he sent down. If we can correct this concept in our minds, life will be a lot easier, happier, and more satisfying. We will always be grateful for what our master has given us. And if he takes something away from us, we as slaves will know that it wasn’t ours to begin with, and if our Master has taken it away from us, then he is the one who created us and knows what is best for us.

A slave always gives his best to please his master, whatever the circumstances may be. If you want to raise a firm believer who is dedicated to bringing change in society, then you need to mold him or her to have the mindset of a slave; a slave of the creator of the heavens and the earth and not a slave of this world.

5- STRENGTH

A Strong Believer Is Better


A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer – Prophet Muhammad

This might be hard for me to say but I am sure you wouldn’t disagree – Most of our religious leadership is not even close to following this hadith. That is why it is not mentioned much in our seminars, sermons, and conferences. In fact I would argue, most of them are not just of descent or of average strength, but are victims of the lifestyle disease of obesity.

Our goal is to be closer to Allah and Prophet Muhammad is teaching us to be a strong person. We tend to look for easier ways such as attending conferences and reading the Quran, but it’s is much harder to gain physical strength.

It’ll require us to change our whole life; what activities we do, spending thirty minutes to an hour out of our day to exercise, and eating right, which would mean controlling our habits during iftaars and wedding parties.

As parents, we need to make sure that we have a culture of active lifestyle at home. We revolve our family gatherings around outdoor activities instead of sitting in front of a screen.

If there is one quality that a Muslim who wants to bring change must have, it would be having strength. You can talk all day and make beautiful speeches, but action requires you to have a body with strength.

Oh My People


For those of us who were not born in the West and migrated from the Middle East, South Asia, or any other parts of the world, our hearts are usually attached back home. We’ll always be talking about how great people were back home and how this society is so bad, but we also don’t want to leave this society. It’s obvious that your life is a lot more comfortable here than it was back home. Then why the double standards–that you will be living in the so called “the land of Kuffar” and always talk down the society where you live, but you also don’t want to leave this society and go back home?

Prophets mentioned in the Quran, when they are calling their nations towards good and leaving the evil, they address them by saying “Oh My People” – meaning I am part of you. Don’t you see, I grew up amongst you, you have never seen me doing anything wrong. I am always thinking good for you. I am a prophet, so listen to me because I want to see good for you – “Oh My People.”

If you want change in society and you have been living here and know that this is home for you and your future generations, then start thinking like you are a part of the society. The only way you’ll be able to bring change to “Your People” is if you start considering yourself as one of them.

You cannot be a leader when you believe that you are an outsider. Wherever you live, have a mindset of leadership and encourage your kids to have a sense of leadership in their role as well. Always look for opportunities to make the lives of people around you better. That is what true leadership is about and our children must learn this attitude.

7- ACTION

Tie Your Camel


When we consider ourselves spiritual and being the “men of God,” we think we need to become monks who sit on their prayer rug and prayer beads and do dhikar/remembrance of Allah. All of that is fine as long as you are spending your time making sure you have done your part. It is one thing to put your trust in Allah, but as long as you have tied your camel.

This term comes from a story where a companion of Prophet Muhammad left his camel without tying it. Prophet Muhammad asked him, “Why don’t you tie down your camel” – The man said, “I put my trust in Allah”; to which Prophet Muhammad responded, “Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah.”

The meaning of this story is that we need to do our part first and then put our reliance in Allah. Part of our faith is to know and teach our children to trust Allah in every situation. But we need to do our part and our children must know that. They should not be spoon-fed everything and they should take ownership of their matters as they mature in age.

We need to study for our test, and then put our trust in Allah to pass. We need to take the pill, and then put our trust in Allah to cure us. We need to work out and eat healthy, and then put our trust in Allah to give us health and strength. We need to work hard, make a living, spend in Allah’s cause, and then put our trust in Allah to eliminate poverty. We need to buckle up and drive safely, and then put our trust in Allah to keep us safe. I think we get the point! Let’s move on…


About the Author


Haroon Malik is a father of three children and happily married for over 11 years. Haroon had the opportunity to lead AlMaghrib Institute’s Windsor tribe; attend the first batch of 10-month Bayyinah Institute’s Arabic intensive program; and lead multiple outreach campaigns for GainPeace (ICNA’s outreach) of billboards, buses, and booths. Since early college days, Haroon has been counseling youth from tweens, teenagers to University students. By profession, Haroon Malik comes from a Financial Reporting background and currently resides in Detroit, Michigan.

He is the founder of Camp Salam which is an organization whose mission is to bring a fun and active environment for families to get together and to empower them with strategies and tools for mastering and living life fully; everything from how to be motivated, change your mindset, being healthy and physically fit, being happy and productive, time management, cultivating relationships, spirituality, and much more! He strives to be a strong believer in making continual progress in each area of his life, to have lasting growth, and a strong relationship with Allah.
Camp Salam is an environment where you will learn confidence, leadership, and how to contribute to your community. Camp Salam is mainly targeted for families and young children. We believe in empowering you with the motivation and skills to stay physically fit, teaching you love for healthy food, nature and the outdoors, while connecting with our creator - all amidst the fun of camp fires, fitness boot camps, educational activities, sports, and meaningful relationships.

Salam Seminars which offers online courses and webinars related to topics of Family and Parenting, is a project of Camp Salam.

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