parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Effective Discipline & Consequences (Parenting.org)

Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Effective Discipline & Consequences (Parenting.org)
http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/discipline/parenting-your-teenager-6-tips-for-effective-discipline-and-consequences/

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Have You Talked to with Your Child Today (by: Dr. Aisha Hamdan on Zawaj.com)

Have You Talked  with Your Child Today
http://www.zawaj.com/articles/child_talk_with.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Helping children Develop Self-Control (NYU Child Study Center)

Helping children Develop Self-Control
http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/about_discipline_helping_children_develop_selfcontrol

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Dad Arrested for Punching Son

Dad Arrested for Punching Son
http://www.kare11.com/news/article/951234/391/Dad-arrested-for-punching-son-at-basketball-game

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

My Autistic Muslim Child (Blog)

My Autistic Muslim Child
http://myautisticmuslimchild.wordpress.com/about/


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

How to Speak with No Words (by: Grandma Jeddah)

How to Speak with No Words
 http://aaila.org/issue/november-december-2011/article/how-to-speak-with-no-words

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Logical and Natural Consequences (Univ. of MN Extension)

Logical and Natural Consequences
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/W00019.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Sharing and Caring - Positive Parenting by: Fahimul Anam-Consultant to Muslim Family Matters

Sharing and Caring - Positive Parenting by: Fahimul Anam-Consultant to Muslim Family Matters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYTSIm5dN4M

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Texas Court Suspends Judge Taped Beating Daughter (CNN)

Texas court suspends judge taped beating daughter
http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/23/justice/texas-beating-video/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Toddler Beaten to Death Beacause He Wouldn't Stop Crying (from: Care2.com)

Toddler Beaten to Death Because He Wouldn't Stop Crying
http://www.care2.com/causes/toddler-beaten-to-death-because-he-wouldnt-stop-crying.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

ADD/ADHD Parenting Tips from: Helpguide.org

ADD/ADHD Parenting Tips from: Helpguide.org
http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_parenting_strategies.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Building a Child's Self Esteem from: Sound Vision

Building a Child's Self Esteem from: Sound Vision
http://www.soundvision.com/info/parenting/parent.selfesteem.asp

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Help for Behavior Problems without Hitting from: The Center for Effective Discipline

Help for Behavior Problems without Hitting  from: The Center for Effective Discipline
http://www.stophitting.com/pdf/helpWithHomeBehaviorProblems.pdf


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Parent Taming by Ummuka

Parent Taming by Ummuka
http://umuka.blogspot.com/search/label/anger%20control

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Nurturing Your Family--Taking Care of Yourself from:Children's Trust Fund

Nurturing Your Family--Taking Care of Yourself
http://onetoughjob.org/your-family/care/ask-the-experts

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Grandma Jeddah's Exclusive Quarterly Newsletter now Available. Discover a valuable gift to pass along to your kids, insha'Allah.

Assalamu Alaikum Sisters,

Grandma Jeddah’s exclusive quarterly newsletter, Grandma Jeddah’s Porch, is now available. To receive your own personal copy of the November issue, simply visit Grandma Jeddah’s website at www.grandmajeddah.com.  Go to the “Free Newsletter” page and subscribe.  In November’s issue, you’ll discover a valuable gift to pass along to your kids, insha’Allah.

Grandma Jeddah looks forward to hearing from you, insha’Allah.


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Psychological and Emotional Abuse of Children from: Islamweb

Psychological and Emotional Abuse of Children  from: Islamweb
http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=136013

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

"How to Use Praise" from: Net Places

How to Use Praise with Your Child
http://www.netplaces.com/defiant-children/praise-and-reward/how-to-use-praise.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Child Discipline Series from: About.com

Child Discipline Series From: About.com
http://childparenting.about.com/cs/discipline/a/childdiscipline.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Fatalities Due to Child Abuse and Neglect From: AmericanHumane.org

Fatalities due to Child Abuse and Neglect
http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/fatalities-due-to-child-abuse-neglect.html


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Patience is a Virtue from: aaila.org

Patience is a Virtue
http://aaila.org/issue/march-april-2012/article/patience-is-a-virtue-when-disciplining

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Ask Grandma Jeddah

Ask Grandma Jeddah

Question:
I live in Holland and I am homeschooling my boys. So I find it hard to give them one on one time with me because they are with me every day walhamdoelilah. How can I give them the one-on-one time? Do you have some advice for me? I am convinced that hitting is not okay.  They can obey without hitting,  but I am trying to find out how, and that is  why I am reading your book, and I am very happy  with it, Alhamdullilah.


Answer:

Assalamu Alaikum Sister,May Allah reward you for seeking ways to spend more personal time with your sons. Spending quality as well as quantity time with your children is important for their proper development, as you know.

Take comfort in knowing that by homeschooling your boys, you give them one-on-one attention, even if you don’t realize it. When teaching your soon to be 6-year-old how to write his letters, much of the practice involves your holding his hand, close-up contact with him, and continuous verbal direction and reinforcement. The same goes for when you’re helping your 3-year-old put his puzzles together. Even though you may be teaching them at the same time and nursing the littlest one, they are still getting personal attention from you.
Pat yourself on the back that you have chosen homeschooling as a method of teaching your sons. It is an educational method that allows them to have frequent contact and interaction with you.

These crucial developmental years cannot be replaced once your sons have aged beyond them. And you are providing your kids with optimum attention from you as they move through this growth period.

The following suggestions are probably more closely related to what you are seeking in your question. One way of spending more one-on-one time with individual children is by making dates with them. Once a week you can schedule an outing with each child. Have Dad watch the other two while you go on a 30 to 45 minute outing with one of boys. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. A visit to the park to play on the swings and slide for a few minutes. You can take a trip to the market with one of your sons to pick up some items for dinner. Be sure to let him pick out something special for himself and the other two siblings back at home. He’ll feel important for doing it. A walk around the corner can add up to one-on-one time together.

The thing to remember with whatever outing you choose is to talk to your child on the way to and back from your excursions. Talk about him, you, Allah, what you see on the way, whatever comes to your mind. Use that as a time to answer all of his back-to-back questions, with no frustration in your tone, only concern for your time together.

You can also use periods of activity at home to your advantage. During bath time, use those 5 to 10 minutes to smile, laugh, joke and play with one child at a time. Splash the water, let him feel with his fingers the extremes between warm and cool water, let the warm water pour down his back. Talk to him about which story he wants you to read to him after he’s slipped on his pajamas. Use your imagination for conversation and interaction ideas.

How about when you’re washing dishes, let them take turns each day sitting on the counter to talk to you while you wash. Or what about when you’re cooking a cake, let each one stir while the other counts to 10, then they exchange positions.

Play with them in turn. Play pony back ride. Get on your knees and ride one to the other room and back. Then let another child have a turn.

During story time at bedtime, have your kids take turns sitting on your lap for their story to be read. Or if only one story is read per night, let them take turns each night to sit on your lap.
Spending one-on-one needn’t amount to large blocks of time. Short, frequent, spurts of one-on-one attention can be productive, as well.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about feeling neglectful of giving your sons one-on-one attention. The fact that you’re homeschooling them as well as seeking out ways to become a better parent shows you’re doing a great job at trying to fulfill your sons’ needs, and Allahu Alim.

May Allah bless you to raise all your children up as good Muslims and bless your children to be blessings for you and your family in this world and the hereafter.

 For more information on making obeying easier and discipline simpler without hitting, shouting or shaming, visit Grandma Jeddah’s website at:
You are welcome to reprint this article as long as you print the entire contents unaltered, including author’s name and website.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Important Message on Shaken Baby Syndrome by: American Humane.org

Important Message on Shaken Baby Syndrome
http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/shaken-baby-syndrome.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Quick Read on Discipline Tips by: Islamic World

Quick and Easy Read on Disicipline Tips

http://islamic-world.net/parenting/parenting_page/discipline_tips.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Timeless Tips on Patience when Disciplining by:Ummuka

Timeless tips on maintaining patience when disciplining your child.
http://umuka.blogspot.com/search/label/anger%20control


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Child Physical Abuse by: American Humane.org

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-physical-abuse.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Child Discipline by American Humane Society

Child Discipline by American Humane Society
http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-discipline.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

A Tip on Learning to Control Your Temper when Disciplining

A Tip on Learning to Control Your Temper when Disciplining

Quran 2: 183

O Ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may (learn) self-restraint.

A common problem many mothers write in to Grandma Jeddah about is how to control their temper with their children.  These mothers are already on the road to improvement, because they’ve taken the first step, which is realizing that they need to change or improve their parenting methods. Here are a few pointers on how to help yourself maintain self-control when disciplining your children:

·         Learning how to be patient with your children takes practice.  Remember that no one is perfect, but practice does help one to improve.  So make a conscious effort to improve.

·         Think about how you would want to be treated if you were your child.

·         Read about and learn about the ways The Prophet (SAW) dealt with people.  Use him as your example.

·         Fast.  Although not eating can sometimes put one on edge, it also has a calming effect.  We are often more subdued when our stomach is not full. In addition, when fasting we are encouraged to avoid conflict and argumentation. Most of us are familiar with the hadith that says, if somebody should fight or argue with you, you should say, ‘I am fasting.’

Even though Ramadan is over we still have many opportunities to receive the blessings and reward of fasting.  Of course the 6 days of Shawwal are encouraged.  Also, Mondays and Thursdays are

recommended days for fasting.  The three days during the middle of the lunar month are suggested, as well. Use these days to help you get the reward of fasting and gain better self-control, insha’Allah.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Helping our Special Needs Children to Cope

Helping our Children with Disabilities to Cope

http://growmama.com/spirituality/the-woman-who-chose-allah/#comment-2803

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Know the Signs of Emotional Abuse

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/emotional-abuse.html


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Be a Very Good Muslim to Your Children by: Grandma Jeddah

Narrated Abu Musa “Some people asked Allah’s Apostle, “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (who is a very good Muslim?"He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands. (Bukhari)

As mothers, we are over our children.  We are responsible for raising them. And they are obligated to obey us, unless we command them to do wrong. How many times have we heard of the one who is in charge taking advantage of the one he is in charge of?

It is easy to take out our frustrations, bad day or other problems on our children . . . they are helpless, weak and dependent upon us. But during our times of troubles, we must remember that they have a right on us.  On the Day of Judgment, no one will be concerned about their mother, father, sister or brother.  Everyone will try to save themselves. We don’t want our children to be of those who will take from our good deeds because we mistreated them. 

When correcting your child for misbehavior, be certain you are giving them their rights.  Learn the methods of discipline that The Prophet (SAW) used with his family and others.  He used gentle means of persuasion, being a good example, and kindness.


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Positive Parenting for School from U.S. Centers for Disease Control

Positive Parenting (Retrieved from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control

You can help your child become independent, while building his or her sense of responsibility and self-confidence at the same time. Here are some suggestions:

• Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.
• Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
• Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sport, or to take advantage of volunteer opportunities.
• Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends may pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
• Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks. Talk to your child about saving and spending money wisely.
• Meet the families of your child’s friends.
• Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage your child to help people in need. Talk with him or her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
• Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
• Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk to your child about what you expect from her when no adults are supervising. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help your child to know what to do in those situations.
• Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.
• Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
• Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with her about her homework.
• Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Get Organized to Mininmize Discipline Problems this School Year

Being organized can minimize discipline problems at the beginning of the school year.  Here are 10 tips on starting the school year out right with your elementary-school-aged child.
http://www.parentfurther.com/10-back-school-tips-parents-elementary-school-aged-kids

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Be Proactive with Your Child’s Discipline Problems this School Year by Grandma Jeddah

Some children are more known for their behavioral problems than others. If your child had a few discipline problems last year in school, don’t wait for parent conference day or report card day to get in touch with your child’s teacher.  Let your child’s teacher know you are concerned about helping improve your child’s behavior.  Ask the teacher if she uses any special discipline techniques at school that you can follow up with at home. Volunteer for a day or so each month. This will show your child and his teacher that you really care about his progress in school. 

Children have different characteristics.  Some are easier to manage than others.  Showing interest in your child’s, school, classroom, teacher and class work is one way of showing your child how important he is to you.  The discipline process is much easier when your child feels and knows you care. 


Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Order her book or subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

How to Increase Self-esteem in Our Children

http://www.muslimvideo.com/tv/watch/70c5528aa56705516f36/-How-to-increase-self-esteem-or-self-respect-among-childrens

If you like this, you can find more helpful parenting resources like this on the "Parenting Support" page at www.grandmajeddah.com/

Have a Back-to-School plan to Minimize Discipline Problems

Have a back-to-school plan and schedule to minimize discipline problems with your kids
http://www.parentfurther.com/10-back-school-tips-parents-preschoolers

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

The Best Women are Kind and Merciful to their Children by: Grandma Jeddah

According to Abu Huraira, The Prophet (saw) said, “The best women among (the Arabs) are the women of Quraish.  They are merciful and kind to their children and the best guardians of their husband’s properties. (Bukhari)

In our daily interactions with our children, remember this hadith.  It's useful to remember when disciplining our children, as well.  The old saying "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." is a wise one.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Great News from Grandma Jeddah!

Assalamu Alaikum Sisters,

May Allah accept your fasting and good deeds from Ramadan.

Grandma Jeddah has added several NEW items to help you make obeying easier and discipline simpler. 

If you purchase any item before September 17, 2011 we’ll give you three (3) gift certificates. Use your gift certificates to allow Grandma Jeddah to deliver her FREE e-Book, Discipline without Disrespecting: 8 Tips to Taming Your Muslim Child’s Temper, to friends or family members of your choice, insha’Allah.

Learn how to discipline your child effectively without hitting, shouting or losing control. Assist others to, also. Please visit the “Order our Products” page today, and click on the BUY BUTTON. http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Speak to them Words of Kindness and Justice by: Grandma Jeddah

To those weak of understanding, give not your property which Allah has assigned to you to manage,  but feed and clothe them therewith, and speak to them words of kindness and justice (Sura An-Nisaa 4:5)

Some of us have children with learning disabilities, autism, mental retardation or other intellectual weaknesses.  According to Tafsir of Ibn Kathir¹, the term “weak of understanding” can apply to our children with weak intellect.

Allah knows everything.  He knows how trying and challenging managing such children can be at times.  However, in this ayat, he tells us to “speak to them words of kindness and justice. “

The next time you are disciplining and growing impatient with your child that has some form of intellectual challenge, let Allah’s words be your guide: “. . . speak to them words of kindness and justice.”

¹http://www.quran4u.com/Tafsir%20Ibn%20Kathir/004%20Nisa.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Thank you and Jazakalakhair to Participants of the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest

Thank you and Jazakalakhair to all who participated in the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest. 

 I hope you benefited greatly from your readings and writing.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Blessings of Eid

May Allah bless all with a blessed and happy Eid.  May He accept your fasting and good deeds.

Enjoy Eid with Your Kids-- without Emptying Your Wallet by: Grandma Jeddah

Enjoy Eid with Your Kids-- without Emptying Your Wallet

Eid is a day of celebration! But it doesn’t have to be a day of excessive spending.  With many families suffering economically these days, here are a few ways to keep the joy in your Eid without going broke.

Have your children’s friends over for a special Eid breakfast.  Remember it’s Eid. . . so it’s O.K. to feed your sweet tooth.   How about waffles with strawberries, whipped cream and syrup a la IHOP style.  Or, what about fried chicken wings and waffles a la Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.  What about a Southern plate of biscuits, hash browns, eggs and turkey bacon?  Let your child join in on designing the menu. Here are a few other inexpensive bun fun ideas.

Bring back memories! Make some homemade games for you and your kids to play.  You probably already have everything you need in your home. 

·         Make and decorate paper airplanes and have airplane races.

·         Make and decorate a homemade bingo game.

·         Make and decorate a homemade tic-tac-toe game.

·         Make a Bean Bag Toss using old rolled up socks and a laundry basket.

·         Record funny conversations on a cassette tape player or cell phone.

·         Hide small wrapped pieces of candy throughout the house to find.

·         Design a treasure hunt.

Use your imagination for more ideas or search the internet.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Minimizing Discipline Problems on Eid by: Grandma Jeddah

Minimizing Discipline Problems on Eid

Eid-ul-Fitr is a special holiday for us.  It’s recommended that we attend the Eid prayer, eat delicious foods and enjoy the day. 

On Eid we often involve ourselves in activities that are out of the norm as part of the celebratory activities.  We get up before dawn to prepare for the Eid prayer, which may be a change in your child’s sleeping pattern. We indulge in delicious sweets which, which can add to hyperactivity and be perceived by the child as unusual permissiveness. We visit or receive family and friends to enjoy their company which is a change in routine. 

These added activities and changes in habit can make your child anxious, excited and even stressed. When your child is experiencing these heightened emotions, she may not be on her best behavior.    Simply realize this and be more tolerant of your child’s impulsive or uncharacteristic behaviors.  To reassure your child this Eid try the following:

·         Look in your child’s eyes when she’s talking to you.

·         Take time to listen to what she has to say

·         Hold your child’s hand when shopping or visiting—it can be comforting

·         Explain to your child the daily schedule or plans.

·         Try to take your child where she can run, jump and play, such as the park or other  fun venue—activity gets those endorphins (fun chemicals) working in the body.

·         Allow a little extra fun-time freedom –It’s Eid!

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

99 Tips to Help Kids Fast During Ramadan from: American Muslim Mom Website

It's not too late to gain more helpful tips on how to positively encourage your children to fast, insha'Allah.
http://americanmuslimmom.com/99-tips-kids-fast-ramadan

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Fun Ramadan Crafts and Activities

Fun crafts and activities to excite your child about Ramadan
http://ourseeds.tripod.com/activities.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Developing the Habit of Fasting in Children by:Ramadan Kareem

Wonderful ways to Encourage Your Child to Fast
http://ramadankareem.blogspot.com/2011/06/developing-habit-of-fasting-in-children.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Educating Your Children About Ramadan (Quran and Sunnah Society)

Helpful reminders on teaching your children about Ramadan
http://www.qss.org/articles/ramadan/8.5.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Another nice Ramadan Story -- My First Fast by: Gabriel Milo

Another nice Ramadan story to view with your child. Spend time with your child to prevent some discipline problems.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75idez5Yxz4

Find more helpful parenting resources like this by subscribing to Grandma Jeddah's FREE Newsletter.
http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

May Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN!

Discipline Problem:

4th Week:

            Your 5-year-old son is playing ball outside with his 10-year-old brother.  You’re headed toward the sidewalk to take your daily walk.  Suddenly, you see your 5-year-old dash into the street to chase the ball.

            What do you do?

_____________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest please go to post 7/29/2011 for complete details.

Spend Time to Prevent Discipline Problems

Aliya's First Ramadan by: Shirien Elamawy-- Read by Abdullah Puppet

Spending time with your child is one way to prevent discipline problems.  Here is a sweet Ramadan story to share with your child.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwB-99-Gjag&feature=related

Find more helpful parenting resources like this by subscribing to Grandma Jeddah's FREE Newsletter.
http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Spanked to Death in the Name of God CNN

Spanked to Death in the Name of God

The horror of what can go wrong with uncontrolled hitting. . .
http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2011/08/15/exp.ac.tuchman.punishment.cnn

Ummukas-Jummuah Delights "Parenting is Heart Work" By: Khafayah

Great tips on how to become a better mother during Ramadan.

http://umuka.blogspot.com/2011/07/ummukas-jumuah-delights-parenting-is.html

Find more helpful parenting resources like this on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST question #3

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

May Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN!

Discipline Problem:

3rd Week:

            Your 12-year-old daughter comes home from school with a Discipline Notice. Earlier that day, you received a phone call from her teacher.  The teacher complained that your daughter had talked back to her disrespectfully in class.

            You ask your daughter about the Discipline Notice the teacher said she’d given her. Your daughter snatches it out of her book bag and tosses it on the table.

            What do you do?

________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest please go to post 7/29/2011 for complete details.

 

Creative Incentives and Activities for Kids this Ramadan By: Judy Atlagh

Asalaamu Aliekum,

I want to share some thoughts on the idea of incentives and something that worked well for my children last year. Of course we had the usual discussions about Ramadahn and its significance, what we get out of fasting for ourselves and our perspective on humanity at large. I also tried to make it personal by telling the children that fasting is one way to please Allah SWT and that when Allah SWT is pleased you are rewarded with Jannah and that Jannah is as nice as you make it.

On that note, I said each day of fasting is like earning a brick to place in your house in Jannah (everyone wants to live in a nice house, right?). This idea could be expanded upon as a physical representation in several ways. One way is that parents could make a picture of a house with 29 bricks plus one extra somewhere to account for 29 or 30 days of Ramadahn and allow the child to color in a brick for each day they fast. You could use stickers instead of coloring...you could use the idea of a garden instead of a house. Anything that might work for a particular child. Another way, and perhaps this would work better for boys, would be to build a house out of duplo (large sized) legos (if you use the smaller ones, perhaps they earn one lego per hour so that they can earn enough to build a whole house).

This idea stemed from a discussion with a friend who thought that a calander where you open a window a day and inside was written a verse of Quran or a hadith or an idea for a 'good deed a day for Ramadahn' would be awesome.

Perhaps other parents have other ideas and would be willing to share.

For older children, perhaps selecting a special gift to buy for Eid and 'earning' a portion of the cost each day they fast would work. For in-between kids this could be simplified to something like earning a Chuck E Cheese token each day and then spending them at eid time. For that matter instead of building a house, maybe the child would be more motivated to build a pizza...

There are so many ideas.  Maybe...that's why I would love to hear thoughts from other parents. Also, it would be good to know how this idea might apply to other Islamic tasks like Quran memorization...

Be well and may Allah SWT accept our fasting and purify all our efforts,

Judy

Judy Atlagh is a nurse and mother of four children (9, 7, 4, 14 months). She also home schools several of her children.  Jazakalakhair, Judy, for your answer.

(The Complete Article) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan

Discover how to delight in richly rewarding night prayers with your lively child in tow

By

Grandma Jeddah

 

Ramadan is a time when family and friends gather at the masjid to feast on delicious meals and stand shoulder to shoulder in nighttime prayers filled with blessings and rewards.  It’s a pleasurable time at the masjid that both parents and children look forward to.  But suppose you are the mother of a rambunctious child.  What might normally be an enjoyable time to connect with friends and get closer to Allah can become an experience filled with frustration.  Here are 10 tips to encourage your child to stay on his best behavior in the masjid, so you can have a more pleasant and rewarding Taraweeh prayer during Ramadan.

Tip 1

Select a masjid that caters to children.  Many masjids offer childcare services for worshippers, making it easy for parents to enjoy meals and give their undivided attention during long standing periods of Taraweeh prayer.  Of course, not all masjids have this luxury.  Even so, some are certainly more kid-friendly than others.  Look for a masjid that you and your child both feel comfortable in.

Tip 2

Encourage your child to fast during Ramadan.  The pious predecessors of the Prophet (SAW) encouraged their children to fast.  There are differences in opinion as to what age children should be encouraged to fast.  Nevertheless, you can still make gentle attempts at getting your child to give up eating by distracting him with toys, as did our pious predecessors.  You can even offer a special reward if he fasts all or most of the day. Use affectionate persuasion, but don’t force fasting upon him.  How can fasting help control your child during visits to the masjid?  Think about it . . . how do you feel after fasting all day and then finally sitting down to savor a scrumptious meal?  Your blood sugar plummets and you’re ready to doze off to sleep.  Your children are no different.  Having your child fall asleep during Taraweeh prayer can be the relief you need to focus on your prayers and avoid having to correct him to be quiet or sit still.

Tip 3

Endear your child to stand for the Taraweeh prayer along with you.  It’s not uncommon for children as young as eight-years-old to stand for the entire Taraweeh prayer!  Don’t force it upon your child, however.  All children are different.  Offer him a special treat if he stands throughout much of the prayer with you.  You’ll find him trying his best to stay on his feet, fighting the urge to rock back and forth and nod off.

Tip 4

Talk to your child prior to leaving home.  Explain to him that you understand how difficult it can be sitting still for such a long period of time.  Explain specifically what type of behavior you expect from him, within reason.  Tell him that you want him to sit down while you’re praying.  Let him know if he wishes to talk, he should use a hushed tone.  If he sits quietly throughout most of the prayer, you’ll give him a gift from your “Ramadan gift bag” on the way home.  Your gift doesn’t have to be expensive.  It could even be a special dessert such as an ice cream cone or donut on the way home from the masjid.  Or, even a special sweet treat you cook up at home.

Tip 5

Carry along a “Taraweeh activity bag” with an assortment of toys such as coloring books and crayons, pencil and paper, puzzles, sticker books, hand held toys  and whatever other entertaining toys (without images)you think will keep your child’s hands busy and mind occupied while you’re praying.  Why not visit the local dollar store and have your child pick out toys he might enjoy playing with.  After you get home, stuff everything into a back pack for your child to carry with him to the masjid.

Tip 6

Bring a bag of snacks. What better way to keep your child’s mouth closed and hands busy than with baggies filled with savory snacks.   Treats with mini pieces such as bags of nuts, popcorn or fruit snacks are ideal.  They make it practical for your child to share with his friends and they don’t leave crumbs behind.  Be sure to remind him to pick up any bags or wrappers he may have used.

Tip 7

Take an outside break.  Sometimes being inside for an extensive period of time can be just too much for your child. When your child gets cranky and disruptive to others, give him a break.  Allow him (and yourself) to take a breather outside and take in some fresh night air. After calming down your child and gathering your resolve, return inside and continue your prayer.

Tip 8

Remember that you are training your child.  Don’t expect a perfect soldier.  He will falter at times with your instructions. That can be expected.  Your child is not an adult.  And besides . . . even adults have limitations on their attention spans.  Your child is just that—a child.

Tip 9

Lower your expectations of attaining a perfect Taraweeh prayer.  Times are not the same as when you had no children.  Your child will inevitably take time away from your devotion.  And that’s Ok.  You are now in charge of a child you have been given as a trust. Your responsibility is to teach him his purpose in life—to worship his Lord.  Through your patience, guidance and example he will learn an important facet of Ramadan—standing earnestly at night and enduring the fortitude of praying to His Lord.

Tip 10

For some children the structured environment of a masjid for such an extended period of time is just too, demanding.  In such situations it’s reassuring to know that for sisters, praying in the home gains more rewards than praying in the masjid . . . talk about convenience.  So you can still receive bountiful rewards from your Lord right in your home while praying Taraweeh.  And at the same time allow your child to experience the many blessing of this holy month of Ramadan.

.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 10 grandchildren.  She’s had ample experience managing her young ones in the masjid during Ramadan.  She’s also the  author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child-- And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-book and subscribe to her free newsletter, go to:  www.grandmajeddah.com

(Tip #10) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday


Tip 10

For some children the structured environment of a masjid for such an extended period of time is just too, demanding.  In such situations it’s reassuring to know that for sisters, praying in the home gains more rewards than praying in the masjid . . . talk about convenience.  So you can still receive bountiful rewards from your Lord right in your home while praying Taraweeh.  And at the same time allow your child to experience the many blessing of this holy month of Ramadan.

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #9) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday

Tip 9

Lower your expectations of attaining a perfect Taraweeh prayer.  Times are not the same as when you had no children.  Your child will inevitably take time away from your devotion.  And that’s Ok.  You are now in charge of a child you have been given as a trust. Your responsibility is to teach him his purpose in life—to worship his Lord.  Through your patience, guidance and example he will learn an important facet of Ramadan—standing earnestly at night and enduring the fortitude of praying to His Lord.

to be continued, insha'Allah . . .

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #8) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday


Tip 8

Remember that you are training your child.  Don’t expect a perfect soldier.  He will falter at times with your instructions. That can be expected.  Your child is not an adult.  And besides . . . even adults have limitations on their attention spans.  Your child is just that—a child.

to be continued, insha'Allah . . .


To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #7) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday
Tip 7

Take an outside break.  Sometimes being inside for an extensive period of time can be just too much for your child. When your child gets cranky and disruptive to others, give him a break.  Allow him (and yourself) to take a breather outside and take in some fresh night air. After calming down your child and gathering your resolve, return inside and continue your prayer.


to be continued, insha'Allah . . .

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

One Mother's Answer to the 2nd Question of the RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

Discipline Problem:

2^nd Week:

            It’s after school and your 10-year-old son is on the computer. ”Did you do your homework?” you ask him.

            “Uhhh. . . no,” he says.  “I forgot.”

            “ Okay, I need you off the computer by the time I count to three.  One. . . two. . .three.”

            Your son is still on the computer.

            What do you do?
________________________________________________________

First, I will say that my children are homeschooled, so this 'dilemia' doesn't occur quite the same, but keeping children on task and focused is significantly important and can be a battle of wills since the child has desires that outweigh his needs (HW).

I think it is important, as always, to set the ground rules on day one or even before school starts. I also think it is important to take the child's desires into consideration. That's where a flexible afterschool routine comes into play. Child comes home and mom offers a healthy snack. She sits at the table with the child and asks about school, including homework (perhaps there is even a homework folder that she can review) and grades for that day. She goes over a plan for the evening so that the child knows when his best opportunities to complete school work will be (in case there is shopping or other errands to be run that might interupt the 'normal' schedule). They make a plan together that includes a little time to 'unwind', say 1/2 an hour and they include a time frame like "you need to have this task / these tasks done before dinner / before bed. 'Tasks' might include chores in addition to homework. Any sports practices should be considered as well.

In my house, we use a dry erase board to write out the daily plan. In this way, the child can either check off or erase (I prefer the former in case they really didn't do something but erase it anyway and mom doesn't forget) tasks as they are completed. This is very motivating to my children. My children are also motivated to know what the can do after their tasks are finished...like go for a bike ride or play this computer or have ice cream after dinner.

As the child implements the plan, it is crucial that mom check progress and re-direct as necessary, offering words of praise and encouragement as well as offering to help if needed. If the child falls too far off course (i.e. as in your example, gets carried away with a computer game and not start HW) then gentle reminders first, followed by a firm statement of what they will loose today and tomorrow if they countinue to make bad choices. For instance, "I see that you are over your 1/2 hour of free computer time. You should have begun your HW 15 minutes ago. Your choice will cause you to loose 15 minutes of your free time this evening (alternatively: I guess you can only have 15 minutes of computer time tomorrow when you return from school). Now you need to begin your HW so that we can all have dinner together on time. If you continue to make poor choices, we will have to re-think your after-school plan."


Judy Atlagh is a nurse and mother of four children (9, 7, 4, 14 months). She also home schools several of her children.  Jazakalakhair, Judy, for your answer.
________________________________________________________

If  you would like to join the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest, Please see blog post for 7/29/2011.  Jazakalakhair.