Do You have an ANGRY Teen? (By Grandma Jeddah)

Excerpt From-- 

MOM

I’m STRESSED!

Stress Help for

Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

I Feel Angry

Your teacher just gave you a “D” on your history report! You know you deserved a better grade, and now you feel like telling her off.

It’s not easy controlling your emotions at times like this. But the reward for being patient and finding more positive and Islamic ways of expressing your frustrations is well worth the effort. There is great benefit in striving to be known as one who has patience. This can only be accomplished by developing a consistent record of being patient during hardship and trials.

There are many sites on the internet that you can read which will give suggestions on how to be more assertive when you feel you’ve been mistreated. Be sure to look them up after your reading. When you have acceptable ways of expressing your dissatisfaction, you won’t have to rely on your inappropriate expressions.

Here are encouraging words from Quran and hadith on how to manage moments of anger. You will also discover the many rewards and benefits of trying your best to be patient when someone does something to you that gets you fuming.  

1.    Two men disputed with each other in the presence of the Messenger of Allah and the nose of one of them became swollen because of extreme anger. The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “I know of some words that if he said them, what he feels will go away, [the words are] I seek refuge with Allah from the cursed Satan.' '' (Bukhari)

2.    Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (saw) counseled a man who asked for his advice and told him three times “Don’t get angry.” (Bukhari) According to scholars, this means don’t act upon your anger, as everyone gets angry.

3.    According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down. (Abu Dawud)

4.    Narrated Abu Musa “Some people asked the Prophet (saw), “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (who is a very good Muslim?) He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands. (Bukhari) Know that you might be

Accountable on the Day of Judgment for the way in which you treat others.         

5.    According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said that Allah has said: “O son of Adam! If you remained patient restraining yourself and expecting my reward at the initial shock, I will not be happy without rewarding you with Jannah.”  

6.    We all desire companionship at some time or another. We are also sometimes in need of others’ assistance. In Quran 2:153 Our Lord informs us: “Allah is with the patient.” What greater companion can one have?  People sometimes let us down. They may fail us and at times not have the means or ability to help us.  Allah, on the other hand, is completely Self-Sufficient.  What a blessing to have Allah as our Companion, Maintainer and Provider.

7.    The Creator of the heavens and the earth has given us a formula for finding solutions to our tribulations. And part of the solution is having patience. Allah says in Quran 2:45: “And seek help through patience and prayer.”

When you feel you’re at your wits end with your parents’ demands your friend’s rude and hurtful remarks, seek help for your troubles with patience and prayer.

8.    To be loved is a warm and comfortable feeling. But what about the enormous blessing of being loved by Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High! Quran 3:146 says, “And Allah loves the patient." What an honor . . . to be loved by The Most High! Another beautiful hadith about Allah’s love goes as follows:

The Prophet (saw) said: “When Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High, loves someone, He calls Jibreel and says, (Oh Jibreel!) Verily, I love such and such a person, so love him!)’ ”

And Allah names that person and then Jibreel loves that person. Then Jibreel calls out to all the angels of the heavens and he says, “Allah loves so and so, so love him!” And so all the angels love him. And then Allah places pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person!”

According to hadith, The Prophet (saw) said, “. . .  no one is granted a gift better and more comprehensive than patience." (Bukhari and Muslim)

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Plastic surgery for girls as young as 13 (By Grandma Jeddah)

Today, girls as young 13 are getting cosmetic surgery. One statistics states that 64,000 teens get plastic surgery each year. Here is an enlightening excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-book, Mom I’m Stressed: Stress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth

Excerpt From-- 

MOM

I’m STRESSED!

Stress Help for

Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

 I Feel Unattractive

Standing in line at the market, you glance over at the glossy magazines glimmering with toothy models . . . complexions flawless, figures perfect, hair shimmering and smiles sparkling! How wonderful life would be if you had such beauty, you wonder to yourself . . . your self-image takes a deep nose dive south.  

Anyone who has ever seen a movie or commercial, or thumbed through a fashion magazine, or even seen a billboard ad has been influenced to believe that a certain type of “look” is beautiful while other types of “looks” are unattractive.

There’s an old saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is much wisdom in this statement. Just less than a century ago, a round, plump woman was considered attractive and very much desired. The concept of beauty is one that changes and varies based upon the time period and location one finds him or herself in.

A famous actress known for her “beauty” once gave a marvelous piece of wisdom. She said something to the effect that her attractiveness had much to do with her accentuating her positive features and actually covering or not highlighting her not so flattering features. Avoid focusing on body features you are displeased with. Most everyone has something about their body they dislike as well as aspects that fit present day attractive standards. This could be one’s voice, hair, height, shape, feet, eyelashes, eyebrows, smooth or blemishless complexion, the list is endless. Focus on these aspects of yourself and accentuate them.

Bare in mind that most all models and celebrities splashed across magazine covers and movie screens have had some form of cosmetic surgery. And then even the photos have been air brushed to remove imperfections. What you see is not reality--it is fake. The images are virtually impossible to achieve.

That being said, know, that “attractiveness” can be a gift as well as a trial. And it certainly isn’t a determining factor of whether or not one will be “successful” in this worldly life. It is truly Allah The Most High who grants success.

A greater and nobler matter to concern one’s self with than beauty is related to the following ayat:

 "Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you." (Quran: 49:13)

Living in the materialistic societies in which we live, it is so easy to become deluded and misled to believe that such superficial and insignificant matters such as beauty should be our primary concern.  The above ayat makes clear what should be most important to us.

Our primary focus should be trying to please Allah and working on becoming one of the most righteous. This will give us success in this world as well as the hereafter.

Also, know that if you fail to resemble the air brushed, phony images that you see in the movies, on TV and in magazines, don’t let it deflate your self-image and sadden you. Feel content in knowing that Allah tests the one he loves. Your feelings of inferiority (although not warranted) may be a trial from Allah to purify you and bring you closer to Him.

Remember too, that having attractive features is only one “blessing” that Allah may give someone. There are countless others which you may own that Allah has not given the one who has beauty. A few examples are the ability to receive high academic grades, having a happy family life, good health, certain skills and abilities, and the list goes on and on.

And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (Quran: 14:34)

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Today, girls as young 13 are getting cosmetic surgery. One statistics states that 64,000 teens get plastic surgery each year. Here is an enlightening excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-book, Mom I’m Stressed: Stress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth

Excerpt From-- 

MOM

I’m STRESSED!

Stress Help for

Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

 I Feel Unattractive

Standing in line at the market, you glance over at the glossy magazines glimmering with toothy models . . . complexions flawless, figures perfect, hair shimmering and smiles sparkling! How wonderful life would be if you had such beauty, you wonder to yourself . . . your self-image takes a deep nose dive south.  

Anyone who has ever seen a movie or commercial, or thumbed through a fashion magazine, or even seen a billboard ad has been influenced to believe that a certain type of “look” is beautiful while other types of “looks” are unattractive.

There’s an old saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is much wisdom in this statement. Just less than a century ago, a round, plump woman was considered attractive and very much desired. The concept of beauty is one that changes and varies based upon the time period and location one finds him or herself in.

A famous actress known for her “beauty” once gave a marvelous piece of wisdom. She said something to the effect that her attractiveness had much to do with her accentuating her positive features and actually covering or not highlighting her not so flattering features. Avoid focusing on body features you are displeased with. Most everyone has something about their body they dislike as well as aspects that fit present day attractive standards. This could be one’s voice, hair, height, shape, feet, eyelashes, eyebrows, smooth or blemishless complexion, the list is endless. Focus on these aspects of yourself and accentuate them.

Bare in mind that most all models and celebrities splashed across magazine covers and movie screens have had some form of cosmetic surgery. And then even the photos have been air brushed to remove imperfections. What you see is not reality--it is fake. The images are virtually impossible to achieve.

That being said, know, that “attractiveness” can be a gift as well as a trial. And it certainly isn’t a determining factor of whether or not one will be “successful” in this worldly life. It is truly Allah The Most High who grants success.

A greater and nobler matter to concern one’s self with than beauty is related to the following ayat:

 "Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you." (Quran: 49:13)

Living in the materialistic societies in which we live, it is so easy to become deluded and misled to believe that such superficial and insignificant matters such as beauty should be our primary concern.  The above ayat makes clear what should be most important to us.

Our primary focus should be trying to please Allah and working on becoming one of the most righteous. This will give us success in this world as well as the hereafter.

Also, know that if you fail to resemble the air brushed, phony images that you see in the movies, on TV and in magazines, don’t let it deflate your self-image and sadden you. Feel content in knowing that Allah tests the one he loves. Your feelings of inferiority (although not warranted) may be a trial from Allah to purify you and bring you closer to Him.

Remember too, that having attractive features is only one “blessing” that Allah may give someone. There are countless others which you may own that Allah has not given the one who has beauty. A few examples are the ability to receive high academic grades, having a happy family life, good health, certain skills and abilities, and the list goes on and on.

And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (Quran: 14:34)

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Does Your Teen Need Some Guidance? (By Grandma Jeddah)

Excerpt From-- 

MOM

I’m STRESSED!

Stress Help for

Muslim Teens and Youth

By Grandma Jeddah

You heard it from friends and family when the kids were toddlers:

“You think the terrible twos are bad . . .  just wait until your kids reach their teens!”

Well now your kids are teens and boy were they right! You never imagined it would be this difficult.

Of course no isolated book--other than Quran--has all the solutions to help your teen with his or her life problems.  Grandma Jeddah’s  e-book, Mom, I’m stressed! Stress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth, guides your child back to the principles of Islam to solve their everyday stresses . . . and hopefully, make life a little bit easier for you, too, Mom!

With an Islamic perspective, Grandma Jeddah guides your child with practical steps for managing some of the most common problems youth are struggling with today, from drug use to feeling sad and depressed.

It’s well known that the present generation has no time for long drawn out explanations, so the book is quick and easy reading.  THe following is an excerpt from the book:

I Feel like Using Drugs and Alcohol

Your best friend smokes marijuana now. He’s been asking you to try it . . . as a matter of fact, he keeps asking you to try it. “What’s wrong with just one quick toke?” he asks you. “You’re really missing out”, he taunts. “It’s just having fun!”

You’re starting to second guess your own thoughts about refusing to try “weed”. Maybe if I just try it once they’ll leave me alone, you consider.  Consider this before you reconsider:

The harmful and long term devastating effects of using alcohol, taking drugs, or smoking marijuana are far too harmful to take the risk of trying it “just this one time”.

No one ever became addicted to marijuana without trying it once.  You might think you won’t get addicted. After all, your friend still gets good grades in school and beats you in basketball . . .  and he smokes weed.

Don’t be deceived by Shaitan’s deceptions. He works slowly and has plenty of time to lead you and your friend astray down the wrong path. Not many people would try drugs if they immediately saw the harmful effects of it right after someone used it. Visit a rundown area of your town where there are alleys and hangouts for homeless people who sleep on the ground. Not that all homeless people are drug addicts, but a significant number of people who have dropped out of mainstream society and live on the streets can directly link their situation to drug use. This type of disgraceful lifestyle is often the result of starting to use drugs during one’s youth.

 They ask you about alcoholic drink and gambling. Say: ‘In them is a great sin.’ (Quran 2:219)

1.    If you are finding difficulty avoiding drinking alcohol or using drugs, make du'a often, asking Allah to make you strong.

2.    Find a friend who isn’t involved in drinking or taking drugs. This will take away a significant amount of the pressure you are experiencing regarding trying drugs or alcohol.

3.    Drill into your brain that using drugs ruins people’s lives physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. It lessens drive and motivation to improve oneself in school, work and relationships.

4.    Don’t be persuaded by arguments that marijuana is Islamically lawful because it is not alcohol. Narrated by Umme-Salmah: The Prophet (saw) prohibited every intoxicant and muftir (every substance which slackens the mind). 

5.    O you who have believed!   ‘Khamr’ (all types of intoxicants) . . . are all terrible works of Shaitan; so, stay (far) away from these so that you may attain success. 

Shaitan only wants to cause between you animosity and hatred through intoxicants and gambling and to avert you from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer. So will you not give it up? (Quran 5: 90-91)

6.    Be aware that in many non-Muslim countries, marijuana is being legalized with the initial premise that it has medicinal properties. This has been the door opening for lawful recreational use of marijuana in certain states such as Colorado, USA. Even lollipops and cookies are being laced and sold with marijuana extract.  Because the amount of marijuana in these products is not regulated, the ingestion of these products has led to hospitalization and even death!

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/04/02/marijuana-pot-edible-death-colorado-denver/7220685/

Don’t be deceived by Shaitan’s tricks and deception. Avoid using marijuana, alcohol and drugs.

(To be continued, insha'Allah)

Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://www.grandmajeddah.com/Mom-Im-Stressed-Stress-Help-for-Muslim-Teens-and-Youth-145.htm

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

6 Top Tips for Homeschool Success

By: Grandma Jeddah

(part 1)

“What have I gotten myself into?!” If you’re a homeschooling parent and find yourself pondering this question—a bit more often than not— here are 6 splendid ideas on how to help make homeschooling your kids a little easier, Insha’Allah.

1. Establish respectful discipline methods. Determine how to handle misbehavior and incomplete class work and homework assignments. Many teachers eagerly confide that often the greatest difficulty with teaching is managing behavior rather than teaching the material itself.

Knowing effective ways of managing your child’s misbehavior can help simplify the teaching process significantly. If you can get your child to cease talking, sit in his seat and follow along with your instructions, you will have accomplished a major part of your teaching job. There are loads of ways to respectfully encourage your child to comply with your directives. One remarkable way is delaying an exciting and desirable activity until the end of the class period or end of the day.

Let’s say you’re having science class and part of the lesson is to collect an assortment of leaves from outside. Children generally enjoy participating in outdoor activities. Remind your child that if he stays seated throughout the lesson and follows along in class, the two of you will be able to complete class a few minutes early and go outside to gather the leaves. Perchance he periodically still needs reminding, let him know, casually, that whenever you have to stop the lesson to correct him, this takes away from the extra time you two might have. This discipline technique not only encourages appropriate conduct, it also teaches your child to self-manage his own behavior. You accomplish two goals in one!

It is reported the Prophet (saw) said: Allah did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but he sent me to teach and make things easy. (Muslim)

2. Avoid reinventing the wheel. If you’re a novice and a bit nervous about taking on the admirable job of homeschooling your child, take the easy route when starting out. Although, some parents prefer designing their own learning materials for teaching, this may not be the best solution for you. There is an abundance of educational materials you can purchase for teaching most areas of study.

Educational materials including student texts and teacher’s editions ranging from arithmetic to science can be purchased online from academic textbook companies. There are publishers that specialize in educational materials for kindergarten through 12^th grade. The fantastic thing about these companies is that you can purchase the student edition as well as the teacher’s edition. The teacher’s edition, of course, provides answers for your ease in teaching. But they also provide you with an assortment of lesson plans, teaching techniques, and extracurricular activities you can use when teaching your children. This can be invaluable when trying to manage on your own.

Alhamdulillah, you can even find Islamic learning materials for a variety of subjects. Susan Douglass has a book collection for grades Kindergarten through six. The set provides a great selection of Islamic based stories that include reading comprehension questions and lesson correlated activities. The titles can be found under Islamic School Book. Another fine educational selection is the Emaan Reading Series by Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips. This compilation of 58 paperback books provides wonderfully colorful and entertaining stories for children 6 through 9-years of age. The excellent aspect of these readers is that the vocabulary is specifically designed to be age appropriate.

If you’re still a little queasy about starting your homeschooling journey, here’s an even simpler way than searching out and purchasing your own materials-- join a homeschooling program online or in your area. You will get the moral support you need, and some programs even provide you with free materials! How about that for ease?

 If The Prophet (saw) had a choice between 2 halal things, he'd pick the easier one. (Bukhari)



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/