No one likes to hear “no.” We all like to have our way and do as we wish. But of course life isn’t always that sweet. When possible, give your child an affirmative answer to her requests. Many times “No” is the easiest answer, not the best or only answer. Can I do my homework later? If it’s a Friday and there’s no school tomorrow, why not let your child use a token from her star chart to excuse himself from homework for a day.
There are times when “No” means “No”. No way around it. During these occasions try to soften the “No.”
Suhaila: Can Jamillah spend the night?
Mother: Not tonight, maybe another night.
You avoided giving a hard “No.” You haven’t opened yourself up to a definite promise with a date or specific time for the future, but you let your daughter down easy. Hope is better than a hard “no” and who knows, maybe you’ll decide to let the friend spend the night on some other occasion.
If your child wants a special dessert after dinner, rather than “No” try “Yes.”
“ If you eat your vegetables, I’ll make banana bread.” If you are too tired to bake, you could fix something simpler such as a smoothie, popcorn or fruit salad.
The point here is that parents shouldn’t be so quick to say “No” or discredit their child’s requests. Cooperating with your child in this way shows your child that you are not her adversary. You want to work with her to solve her issues--you're on her side. This is one way to make discipline easier for both you and your child.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It. To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at www.grandmajeddah.com