Thank you and Jazakalakhair to Participants of the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest

Thank you and Jazakalakhair to all who participated in the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest. 

 I hope you benefited greatly from your readings and writing.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Blessings of Eid

May Allah bless all with a blessed and happy Eid.  May He accept your fasting and good deeds.

Enjoy Eid with Your Kids-- without Emptying Your Wallet by: Grandma Jeddah

Enjoy Eid with Your Kids-- without Emptying Your Wallet

Eid is a day of celebration! But it doesn’t have to be a day of excessive spending.  With many families suffering economically these days, here are a few ways to keep the joy in your Eid without going broke.

Have your children’s friends over for a special Eid breakfast.  Remember it’s Eid. . . so it’s O.K. to feed your sweet tooth.   How about waffles with strawberries, whipped cream and syrup a la IHOP style.  Or, what about fried chicken wings and waffles a la Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.  What about a Southern plate of biscuits, hash browns, eggs and turkey bacon?  Let your child join in on designing the menu. Here are a few other inexpensive bun fun ideas.

Bring back memories! Make some homemade games for you and your kids to play.  You probably already have everything you need in your home. 

·         Make and decorate paper airplanes and have airplane races.

·         Make and decorate a homemade bingo game.

·         Make and decorate a homemade tic-tac-toe game.

·         Make a Bean Bag Toss using old rolled up socks and a laundry basket.

·         Record funny conversations on a cassette tape player or cell phone.

·         Hide small wrapped pieces of candy throughout the house to find.

·         Design a treasure hunt.

Use your imagination for more ideas or search the internet.

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Minimizing Discipline Problems on Eid by: Grandma Jeddah

Minimizing Discipline Problems on Eid

Eid-ul-Fitr is a special holiday for us.  It’s recommended that we attend the Eid prayer, eat delicious foods and enjoy the day. 

On Eid we often involve ourselves in activities that are out of the norm as part of the celebratory activities.  We get up before dawn to prepare for the Eid prayer, which may be a change in your child’s sleeping pattern. We indulge in delicious sweets which, which can add to hyperactivity and be perceived by the child as unusual permissiveness. We visit or receive family and friends to enjoy their company which is a change in routine. 

These added activities and changes in habit can make your child anxious, excited and even stressed. When your child is experiencing these heightened emotions, she may not be on her best behavior.    Simply realize this and be more tolerant of your child’s impulsive or uncharacteristic behaviors.  To reassure your child this Eid try the following:

·         Look in your child’s eyes when she’s talking to you.

·         Take time to listen to what she has to say

·         Hold your child’s hand when shopping or visiting—it can be comforting

·         Explain to your child the daily schedule or plans.

·         Try to take your child where she can run, jump and play, such as the park or other  fun venue—activity gets those endorphins (fun chemicals) working in the body.

·         Allow a little extra fun-time freedom –It’s Eid!

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

99 Tips to Help Kids Fast During Ramadan from: American Muslim Mom Website

It's not too late to gain more helpful tips on how to positively encourage your children to fast, insha'Allah.
http://americanmuslimmom.com/99-tips-kids-fast-ramadan

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Fun Ramadan Crafts and Activities

Fun crafts and activities to excite your child about Ramadan
http://ourseeds.tripod.com/activities.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Developing the Habit of Fasting in Children by:Ramadan Kareem

Wonderful ways to Encourage Your Child to Fast
http://ramadankareem.blogspot.com/2011/06/developing-habit-of-fasting-in-children.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Educating Your Children About Ramadan (Quran and Sunnah Society)

Helpful reminders on teaching your children about Ramadan
http://www.qss.org/articles/ramadan/8.5.html

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com.

Another nice Ramadan Story -- My First Fast by: Gabriel Milo

Another nice Ramadan story to view with your child. Spend time with your child to prevent some discipline problems.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75idez5Yxz4

Find more helpful parenting resources like this by subscribing to Grandma Jeddah's FREE Newsletter.
http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

May Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN!

Discipline Problem:

4th Week:

            Your 5-year-old son is playing ball outside with his 10-year-old brother.  You’re headed toward the sidewalk to take your daily walk.  Suddenly, you see your 5-year-old dash into the street to chase the ball.

            What do you do?

_____________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest please go to post 7/29/2011 for complete details.

Spend Time to Prevent Discipline Problems

Aliya's First Ramadan by: Shirien Elamawy-- Read by Abdullah Puppet

Spending time with your child is one way to prevent discipline problems.  Here is a sweet Ramadan story to share with your child.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwB-99-Gjag&feature=related

Find more helpful parenting resources like this by subscribing to Grandma Jeddah's FREE Newsletter.
http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Spanked to Death in the Name of God CNN

Spanked to Death in the Name of God

The horror of what can go wrong with uncontrolled hitting. . .
http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2011/08/15/exp.ac.tuchman.punishment.cnn

Ummukas-Jummuah Delights "Parenting is Heart Work" By: Khafayah

Great tips on how to become a better mother during Ramadan.

http://umuka.blogspot.com/2011/07/ummukas-jumuah-delights-parenting-is.html

Find more helpful parenting resources like this on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST question #3

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

May Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN!

Discipline Problem:

3rd Week:

            Your 12-year-old daughter comes home from school with a Discipline Notice. Earlier that day, you received a phone call from her teacher.  The teacher complained that your daughter had talked back to her disrespectfully in class.

            You ask your daughter about the Discipline Notice the teacher said she’d given her. Your daughter snatches it out of her book bag and tosses it on the table.

            What do you do?

________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest please go to post 7/29/2011 for complete details.

 

Creative Incentives and Activities for Kids this Ramadan By: Judy Atlagh

Asalaamu Aliekum,

I want to share some thoughts on the idea of incentives and something that worked well for my children last year. Of course we had the usual discussions about Ramadahn and its significance, what we get out of fasting for ourselves and our perspective on humanity at large. I also tried to make it personal by telling the children that fasting is one way to please Allah SWT and that when Allah SWT is pleased you are rewarded with Jannah and that Jannah is as nice as you make it.

On that note, I said each day of fasting is like earning a brick to place in your house in Jannah (everyone wants to live in a nice house, right?). This idea could be expanded upon as a physical representation in several ways. One way is that parents could make a picture of a house with 29 bricks plus one extra somewhere to account for 29 or 30 days of Ramadahn and allow the child to color in a brick for each day they fast. You could use stickers instead of coloring...you could use the idea of a garden instead of a house. Anything that might work for a particular child. Another way, and perhaps this would work better for boys, would be to build a house out of duplo (large sized) legos (if you use the smaller ones, perhaps they earn one lego per hour so that they can earn enough to build a whole house).

This idea stemed from a discussion with a friend who thought that a calander where you open a window a day and inside was written a verse of Quran or a hadith or an idea for a 'good deed a day for Ramadahn' would be awesome.

Perhaps other parents have other ideas and would be willing to share.

For older children, perhaps selecting a special gift to buy for Eid and 'earning' a portion of the cost each day they fast would work. For in-between kids this could be simplified to something like earning a Chuck E Cheese token each day and then spending them at eid time. For that matter instead of building a house, maybe the child would be more motivated to build a pizza...

There are so many ideas.  Maybe...that's why I would love to hear thoughts from other parents. Also, it would be good to know how this idea might apply to other Islamic tasks like Quran memorization...

Be well and may Allah SWT accept our fasting and purify all our efforts,

Judy

Judy Atlagh is a nurse and mother of four children (9, 7, 4, 14 months). She also home schools several of her children.  Jazakalakhair, Judy, for your answer.

(The Complete Article) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan

Discover how to delight in richly rewarding night prayers with your lively child in tow

By

Grandma Jeddah

 

Ramadan is a time when family and friends gather at the masjid to feast on delicious meals and stand shoulder to shoulder in nighttime prayers filled with blessings and rewards.  It’s a pleasurable time at the masjid that both parents and children look forward to.  But suppose you are the mother of a rambunctious child.  What might normally be an enjoyable time to connect with friends and get closer to Allah can become an experience filled with frustration.  Here are 10 tips to encourage your child to stay on his best behavior in the masjid, so you can have a more pleasant and rewarding Taraweeh prayer during Ramadan.

Tip 1

Select a masjid that caters to children.  Many masjids offer childcare services for worshippers, making it easy for parents to enjoy meals and give their undivided attention during long standing periods of Taraweeh prayer.  Of course, not all masjids have this luxury.  Even so, some are certainly more kid-friendly than others.  Look for a masjid that you and your child both feel comfortable in.

Tip 2

Encourage your child to fast during Ramadan.  The pious predecessors of the Prophet (SAW) encouraged their children to fast.  There are differences in opinion as to what age children should be encouraged to fast.  Nevertheless, you can still make gentle attempts at getting your child to give up eating by distracting him with toys, as did our pious predecessors.  You can even offer a special reward if he fasts all or most of the day. Use affectionate persuasion, but don’t force fasting upon him.  How can fasting help control your child during visits to the masjid?  Think about it . . . how do you feel after fasting all day and then finally sitting down to savor a scrumptious meal?  Your blood sugar plummets and you’re ready to doze off to sleep.  Your children are no different.  Having your child fall asleep during Taraweeh prayer can be the relief you need to focus on your prayers and avoid having to correct him to be quiet or sit still.

Tip 3

Endear your child to stand for the Taraweeh prayer along with you.  It’s not uncommon for children as young as eight-years-old to stand for the entire Taraweeh prayer!  Don’t force it upon your child, however.  All children are different.  Offer him a special treat if he stands throughout much of the prayer with you.  You’ll find him trying his best to stay on his feet, fighting the urge to rock back and forth and nod off.

Tip 4

Talk to your child prior to leaving home.  Explain to him that you understand how difficult it can be sitting still for such a long period of time.  Explain specifically what type of behavior you expect from him, within reason.  Tell him that you want him to sit down while you’re praying.  Let him know if he wishes to talk, he should use a hushed tone.  If he sits quietly throughout most of the prayer, you’ll give him a gift from your “Ramadan gift bag” on the way home.  Your gift doesn’t have to be expensive.  It could even be a special dessert such as an ice cream cone or donut on the way home from the masjid.  Or, even a special sweet treat you cook up at home.

Tip 5

Carry along a “Taraweeh activity bag” with an assortment of toys such as coloring books and crayons, pencil and paper, puzzles, sticker books, hand held toys  and whatever other entertaining toys (without images)you think will keep your child’s hands busy and mind occupied while you’re praying.  Why not visit the local dollar store and have your child pick out toys he might enjoy playing with.  After you get home, stuff everything into a back pack for your child to carry with him to the masjid.

Tip 6

Bring a bag of snacks. What better way to keep your child’s mouth closed and hands busy than with baggies filled with savory snacks.   Treats with mini pieces such as bags of nuts, popcorn or fruit snacks are ideal.  They make it practical for your child to share with his friends and they don’t leave crumbs behind.  Be sure to remind him to pick up any bags or wrappers he may have used.

Tip 7

Take an outside break.  Sometimes being inside for an extensive period of time can be just too much for your child. When your child gets cranky and disruptive to others, give him a break.  Allow him (and yourself) to take a breather outside and take in some fresh night air. After calming down your child and gathering your resolve, return inside and continue your prayer.

Tip 8

Remember that you are training your child.  Don’t expect a perfect soldier.  He will falter at times with your instructions. That can be expected.  Your child is not an adult.  And besides . . . even adults have limitations on their attention spans.  Your child is just that—a child.

Tip 9

Lower your expectations of attaining a perfect Taraweeh prayer.  Times are not the same as when you had no children.  Your child will inevitably take time away from your devotion.  And that’s Ok.  You are now in charge of a child you have been given as a trust. Your responsibility is to teach him his purpose in life—to worship his Lord.  Through your patience, guidance and example he will learn an important facet of Ramadan—standing earnestly at night and enduring the fortitude of praying to His Lord.

Tip 10

For some children the structured environment of a masjid for such an extended period of time is just too, demanding.  In such situations it’s reassuring to know that for sisters, praying in the home gains more rewards than praying in the masjid . . . talk about convenience.  So you can still receive bountiful rewards from your Lord right in your home while praying Taraweeh.  And at the same time allow your child to experience the many blessing of this holy month of Ramadan.

.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 10 grandchildren.  She’s had ample experience managing her young ones in the masjid during Ramadan.  She’s also the  author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child-- And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-book and subscribe to her free newsletter, go to:  www.grandmajeddah.com

(Tip #10) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday


Tip 10

For some children the structured environment of a masjid for such an extended period of time is just too, demanding.  In such situations it’s reassuring to know that for sisters, praying in the home gains more rewards than praying in the masjid . . . talk about convenience.  So you can still receive bountiful rewards from your Lord right in your home while praying Taraweeh.  And at the same time allow your child to experience the many blessing of this holy month of Ramadan.

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #9) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday

Tip 9

Lower your expectations of attaining a perfect Taraweeh prayer.  Times are not the same as when you had no children.  Your child will inevitably take time away from your devotion.  And that’s Ok.  You are now in charge of a child you have been given as a trust. Your responsibility is to teach him his purpose in life—to worship his Lord.  Through your patience, guidance and example he will learn an important facet of Ramadan—standing earnestly at night and enduring the fortitude of praying to His Lord.

to be continued, insha'Allah . . .

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #8) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday


Tip 8

Remember that you are training your child.  Don’t expect a perfect soldier.  He will falter at times with your instructions. That can be expected.  Your child is not an adult.  And besides . . . even adults have limitations on their attention spans.  Your child is just that—a child.

to be continued, insha'Allah . . .


To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #7) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday
Tip 7

Take an outside break.  Sometimes being inside for an extensive period of time can be just too much for your child. When your child gets cranky and disruptive to others, give him a break.  Allow him (and yourself) to take a breather outside and take in some fresh night air. After calming down your child and gathering your resolve, return inside and continue your prayer.


to be continued, insha'Allah . . .

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

One Mother's Answer to the 2nd Question of the RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

Discipline Problem:

2^nd Week:

            It’s after school and your 10-year-old son is on the computer. ”Did you do your homework?” you ask him.

            “Uhhh. . . no,” he says.  “I forgot.”

            “ Okay, I need you off the computer by the time I count to three.  One. . . two. . .three.”

            Your son is still on the computer.

            What do you do?
________________________________________________________

First, I will say that my children are homeschooled, so this 'dilemia' doesn't occur quite the same, but keeping children on task and focused is significantly important and can be a battle of wills since the child has desires that outweigh his needs (HW).

I think it is important, as always, to set the ground rules on day one or even before school starts. I also think it is important to take the child's desires into consideration. That's where a flexible afterschool routine comes into play. Child comes home and mom offers a healthy snack. She sits at the table with the child and asks about school, including homework (perhaps there is even a homework folder that she can review) and grades for that day. She goes over a plan for the evening so that the child knows when his best opportunities to complete school work will be (in case there is shopping or other errands to be run that might interupt the 'normal' schedule). They make a plan together that includes a little time to 'unwind', say 1/2 an hour and they include a time frame like "you need to have this task / these tasks done before dinner / before bed. 'Tasks' might include chores in addition to homework. Any sports practices should be considered as well.

In my house, we use a dry erase board to write out the daily plan. In this way, the child can either check off or erase (I prefer the former in case they really didn't do something but erase it anyway and mom doesn't forget) tasks as they are completed. This is very motivating to my children. My children are also motivated to know what the can do after their tasks are finished...like go for a bike ride or play this computer or have ice cream after dinner.

As the child implements the plan, it is crucial that mom check progress and re-direct as necessary, offering words of praise and encouragement as well as offering to help if needed. If the child falls too far off course (i.e. as in your example, gets carried away with a computer game and not start HW) then gentle reminders first, followed by a firm statement of what they will loose today and tomorrow if they countinue to make bad choices. For instance, "I see that you are over your 1/2 hour of free computer time. You should have begun your HW 15 minutes ago. Your choice will cause you to loose 15 minutes of your free time this evening (alternatively: I guess you can only have 15 minutes of computer time tomorrow when you return from school). Now you need to begin your HW so that we can all have dinner together on time. If you continue to make poor choices, we will have to re-think your after-school plan."


Judy Atlagh is a nurse and mother of four children (9, 7, 4, 14 months). She also home schools several of her children.  Jazakalakhair, Judy, for your answer.
________________________________________________________

If  you would like to join the 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest, Please see blog post for 7/29/2011.  Jazakalakhair.

(Tip #6) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday

Tip 6

Bring a bag of snacks. What better way to keep your child’s mouth closed and hands busy than with baggies filled with savory snacks.   Treats with mini pieces such as bags of nuts, popcorn or fruit snacks are ideal.  They make it practical for your child to share with his friends and they don’t leave crumbs behind.  Be sure to remind him to pick up any bags or wrappers he may have used.

to be continued, insha'Allah . . .

Free! Mini Mu'min Ramadan Kit
(positive ways to encourage your child to join in the practices of Ramadan, without pressuring)
Marvelous site with fun activites for your child during RAMADAN! Find ways to encourage your child to fast, read Quran and stay focused on the true meaning of RAMADAN.
http://www.mini-mumin.com/RK.html


Great Ramadan Ideas for Your Children
(Minimize discipline problems by keeping your kids busy during Ramadan)
Fun decorating ideas for Ramadan
Entertaining Ramadan activities
Lovely bulletin board ideas, and more. . . http://habeebeehomeschooling.wordpress.com/



FREE SAMPLE
New Islamic magazine for Muslim kids--Noor Kids
http://www.noorkids.com/home/

                    RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

May Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN!



Discipline Problem:

2^nd Week:

            It’s after school and your 10-year-old son is on the computer. ”Did you do your homework?” you ask him.

            “Uhhh. . . no,” he says.  “I forgot.”

            “ Okay, I need you off the computer by the time I count to three.  One. . . two. . .three.”

            Your son is still on the computer.

            What do you do?
______________________________________________________

                     RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST
Assalamu Alaikum Sister,
Why not add becoming a better parent to your list of endeavors this RAMADAN. What a positive and rewarding way to spend your time during your days of fasting.


1. Strive to develop more patience when disciplining your child.


2. Attempt to direct your child towards obedience without losing control and shouting


3. Develop a habit of controlling your child using encouragement rather than hitting.


4. Find ways to help your child learn self-control.


5. Learn how to get through a temper tantrum without having one yourself.


6. And much . . . much . . . more!


                           Contest Rules and Instructions
                                             Easy as 1… 2… 3…

1. Visit Grandma Jeddah’s Blog at: grandmajeddah.blogspot.com starting Ramadan 1st to Ramadan 29th /30th .


2. Once a week during Ramadan, Grandma Jeddah will post on her blog a discipline problem for you to resolve. Which day? Well. . . you’ll have to visit her blog daily to find that out.


3. Hunt through Grandma Jeddah’s old blog posts to help yourself find the answer to solving the discipline problem. When you find the post(s) that answers your discipline problem, write down the title(s) along with how you would solve the problem. Email your answer to: grandmajeddah@yahoo.com

Answer all four questions and you’ll win your own FREE copy of Grandma Jeddah’s brand new e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide delivered directly to your email. This condensed e-Booklet highlights some of the main points in Grandma Jeddah’s original e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.


Grandma Jeddah has found another way to make obeying easier and discipline simpler for you and your child, with her quick and easy to use Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide.


The Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide includes:

 4 “must know” reasons why children disobey
 Lists of rewards and penalties for disciplining
 An actual incentive Star Chart to use with your rewards and penalties
 An actual IOU Chart
 25 effective non-hitting discipline tips
 Examples of ways to help you manage your stress
 Signs of and methods of disciplining children with special needs
 Du’as to say for children to grow-up as good Muslims
 Reminders from Quran and hadith on importance of being patient




Come along, and participate in this fun and worthwhile contest this Ramadan. Give yourself another positive thing to do throughout the fasting day.
Oh . . . and don’t forget to tell a friend!


www.grandmajeddah.com

(Tip #5) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday

Tip 5

Carry along a “Taraweeh activity bag” with an assortment of toys such as coloring books and crayons, pencil and paper, puzzles, sticker books, hand held toys  and whatever other entertaining toys (without images)you think will keep your child’s hands busy and mind occupied while you’re praying.  Why not visit the local dollar store and have your child pick out toys he might enjoy playing with.  After you get home, stuff everything into a back pack for your child to carry with him to the masjid.


To be continued, insha'Allah . . .


To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

(Tip #4) 10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday

Tip 4

Talk to your child prior to leaving home.  Explain to him that you understand how difficult it can be sitting still for such a long period of time.  Explain specifically what type of behavior you expect from him, within reason.  Tell him that you want him to sit down while you’re praying.  Let him know if he wishes to talk, he should use a hushed tone.  If he sits quietly throughout most of the prayer, you’ll give him a gift from your “Ramadan gift bag” on the way home.  Your gift doesn’t have to be expensive.  It could even be a special dessert such as an ice cream cone or donut on the way home from the masjid.  Or, even a special sweet treat you cook up at home.

To be continued, insha'Allah . . .

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from 8/8/2011

Tip 3

Endear your child to stand for the Taraweeh prayer along with you.  It’s not uncommon for children as young as eight-years-old to stand for the entire Taraweeh prayer!  Don’t force it upon your child, however.  All children are different.  Offer him a special treat if he stands throughout much of the prayer with you.  You’ll find him trying his best to stay on his feet, fighting the urge to rock back and forth and nod off.

to be continued, insha'Allah, . . .

To order Grandma Jeddah's e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It  or to subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

. . .continued from 8/8/2011

Tip 2

Encourage your child to fast during Ramadan.  The pious predecessors of the Prophet (SAW) encouraged their children to fast.  There are differences in opinion as to what age children should be encouraged to fast.  Nevertheless, you can still make gentle attempts at getting your child to give up eating by distracting him with toys, as did our pious predecessors.  You can even offer a special reward if he fasts all or most of the day. Use affectionate persuasion, but don’t force fasting upon him.  How can fasting help control your child during visits to the masjid?  Think about it . . . how do you feel after fasting all day and then finally sitting down to savor a scrumptious meal?  Your blood sugar plummets and you’re ready to doze off to sleep.  Your children are no different.  Having your child fall asleep during Taraweeh prayer can be the relief you need to focus on your prayers and avoid having to correct him to be quiet or sit still.

to be continued, insha'Allah . . .

10 Tips to Child-Proof your Taraweeh this Ramadan By: Grandma Jeddah

Discover how to delight in richly rewarding night prayers with your lively child in tow

Ramadan is a time when family and friends gather at the masjid to feast on delicious meals and stand shoulder to shoulder in nighttime prayers filled with blessings and rewards.  It’s a pleasurable time at the masjid that both parents and children look forward to.  But suppose you are the mother of a rambunctious child.  What might normally be an enjoyable time to connect with friends and get closer to Allah can become an experience filled with frustration.  Here are 10 tips to encourage your child to stay on his best behavior in the masjid, so you can have a more pleasant and rewarding Taraweeh prayer during Ramadan.

Tip 1

Select a masjid that caters to children.  Many masjids offer childcare services for worshippers, making it easy for parents to enjoy meals and give their undivided attention during long standing periods of Taraweeh prayer.  Of course, not all masjids have this luxury.  Even so, some are certainly more kid-friendly than others.  Look for a masjid that you and your child both feel comfortable in.

To be continued, insha'Allah . . .

One Mother's Anwer to the 1st Question of the RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

Discipline Problem:
1st week:Your 3-year-old daughter is watching as you mix together ingredients for banana muffins. Soon, you slide the pan into the oven. After a few minutes, the sweet smell of fresh baked sweet bread fills the house. Finally, you remove the muffins from the oven and set them on the counter to cool.
“I want one.” Your daughter says.
“ After dinner, insha’Allah,” you tell her.
Your daughter tiptoes and reaches up to the counter to get one. You move the pan away.
Suddenly, you hear a loud wail from your little one. Then she drops to the floor and flails her arms and legs. Her howling gets louder. . . it doesn’t stop.
What do you do?

Asalaamu Aliekum,

Initially, when I began to read your post, I began to think how do you even make the muffins with the 3 year old at your side in the kitchen. I have encountered and overcome this issue (with my now 4 year old and 14 month old as well). Even though that was not your "problem," I wish to share as it is important to make children feel included and significant even though they are small. One thing is to allow them their own space in the kitchen. This may mean a cabinet or a drawer that has safe items for them to explore. If the child is old enough, they can help select and mix items for the reciepe. I think they would find smashing bananas quite fun. Finally, and what I find works best, is allow them to do water play in the kitchen either in the sink while standing on a guarded chair or on the floor. It is easy enough to spread a towel on the floor...water doesn't really hurt anything including clothes that may get wet and need changed. It is a matter of acknowledging that play and exploration are part of a child's learning and that mess is a part of that process. Be ready with towels for drying and a dry set of clothes. My girls could do water play for 20-60 minutes from a young age. If they prefer playdough, perhaps this would also be an alternate activity and they could prepare a baked item 'just like mom.'

To answer your actual 'problem,' I would personally remove the child from the kitchen and find a distraction. For instance, I would acknowledge the child's want by saying, "darling, I understand that you want the muffin. You may have a muffin after dinner (and if you say so many minutes then you can help the child watch the clock). For now, let's go wash up and then make a game of racing to the bathroom and using the child's favorite soap." A parent could use any other alternative activity and room change. It does help to know the child well enough to know what distraction would work best. It also helps to be prepared with items of interest that would distract the child. Furthermore, a parent could include statements of positive affirmation like "I like when you are a big girl," "you are such a good helper," "It is helpful to mommy when you follow directions," etc.

Your May 30th post would imply that 'counting' to 3 after stating the change you wish to see could work. Your May 29th post implies that ignoring the outburst could also work. But I like the May 28th post the best in that you state to first acknowledge the child's feelings and then say 'yes' as a delayed yes not an immediate yes. Finally, I will say that staying calm, as you mention in the June 25th blog can have significant workings. Too, after mom takes a deep (cleansing breath), she can say, "we have to make good choices, mommy wants to eat the muffins too, but just like you, I will have to wait until after dinner."

Salaams,

Judy Atlagh

Judy Atlagh is a nurse and mother of four children (9, 7, 4, 14 months). She also home schools several of her children.  Jazakalakhair, Judy, for your answer.

__________________________________________________________________________

Please follow the below Link for instructions on how to participate in Grandma Jeddah's 2011 Ramadan Parenting Contest and win Grandma Jeddah's new e-Book -- Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide. http://grandmajeddah.blogspot.com/2011/07/ramadan-parenting-contest.html

5 Tips to Getting Your Youngster up for Suhoor--Without Shouting By Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from 8/4/2011

Let’s summarize the points
1. Make sure your child is getting sufficient rest. Try to get him to bed early so he’ll be rested when it’s time for Fajr.

2. Cook a delicious smelling meal

3. Use a comforting voice when waking him.

4. Remove his covers for less comfort.

5. Use an incentive chart to encourage him to get up by rewarding him with stars for getting up for suhoor.

But don’t forget . . . even though suhoor is an important aspect of Ramadan, don’t push to hard if your child doesn’t have a desire to get up for the early meal. Suhoor is recommended but not an indispensable part of fasting. You want your child to develop a joy for the month of Ramadan. Let him take pleasure in the other areas of Ramadan that he looks forward to, as well—enjoying a delicious mouth-watering meal with family and friends after sundown!

Grandma Jeddah is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline your Muslim Child—And Keep your Peace of Mind While at It. Subscribe to her free newsletter at www.grandmajeddah.com. Visit her blog at grandmajeddah.blogspot.com. You can also visit her on Facebook.



You can find this complete article on the Muslim Family Magazine. Please go to http://aaila.org/issue/june-2011/article/5-tips-to-getting-your-youngster-up-for-suhoor

5 Tips on How to Get Your Youngster up for Suhoor--without Shouting By Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from 8/3/2011

The fifth thing is to make an incentive chart using stars as rewards for getting up for suhoor. Place a star on the chart whenever he gets out of his bed for the suhoor meal. After he’s earned a certain number of stars, give him a treat or take him somewhere special. This might encourage him to even look forward to getting up for suhoor, when he lies down to sleep at night.”

To be continued, insha'Allah. . .

How to Get Your Child up for Suhoor--without Shouting By Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from 7/31/2011

Third, use a calm and gentle voice when trying to wake up your child. Who wants to wake up to a harsh, gruff voice shouting at him? All you’d feel like doing is turning over on the other side, crawling up under your covers and going back to sleep.

to be continued, insha'Allah. . .

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST. . . Come Join the Learning!

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTESTMay Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN!

Discipline Problem:
1st week:Your 3-year-old daughter is watching as you mix together ingredients for banana muffins. Soon, you slide the pan into the oven. After a few minutes, the sweet smell of fresh baked sweet bread fills the house. Finally, you remove the muffins from the oven and set them on the counter to cool.
“I want one.” Your daughter says.
“ After dinner, insha’Allah,” you tell her.
Your daughter tiptoes and reaches up to the counter to get one. You move the pan away.
Suddenly, you hear a loud wail from your little one. Then she drops to the floor and flails her arms and legs. Her howling gets louder. . . it doesn’t stop.
What do you do?
___________________________________________________________________________
RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST
Assalamu Alaikum Sister,
Why not add becoming a better parent to your list of endeavors this RAMADAN. What a positive and rewarding way to spend your time during your days of fasting.

1. Strive to develop more patience when disciplining your child.

2. Attempt to direct your child towards obedience without losing control and shouting

3. Develop a habit of controlling your child using encouragement rather than hitting.

4. Find ways to help your child learn self-control.

5. Learn how to get through a temper tantrum without having one yourself.

6. And much . . . much . . . more!

Contest Rules and Instructions
Easy as 1… 2… 3…
1. Visit Grandma Jeddah’s Blog at: grandmajeddah.blogspot.com starting Ramadan 1st to Ramadan 29th /30th .

2. Once a week during Ramadan, Grandma Jeddah will post on her blog a discipline problem for you to resolve. Which day? Well. . . you’ll have to visit her blog daily to find that out.

3. Hunt through Grandma Jeddah’s old blog posts to help yourself find the answer to solving the discipline problem. When you find the post(s) that answers your discipline problem, write down the title(s) along with how you would solve the problem. Email your answer to: grandmajeddah@yahoo.com
Answer all four questions and you’ll win your own FREE copy of Grandma Jeddah’s brand new e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide delivered directly to your email. This condensed e-Booklet highlights some of the main points in Grandma Jeddah’s original e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.

Grandma Jeddah has found another way to make obeying easier and discipline simpler for you and your child, with her quick and easy to use Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide.

The Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide includes: 4 “must know” reasons why children disobey
 Lists of rewards and penalties for disciplining
 An actual incentive Star Chart to use with your rewards and penalties
 An actual IOU Chart
 25 effective non-hitting discipline tips
 Examples of ways to help you manage your stress
 Signs of and methods of disciplining children with special needs
 Du’as to say for children to grow-up as good Muslims
 Reminders from Quran and hadith on importance of being patient


Come along, and participate in this fun and worthwhile contest this Ramadan. Give yourself another positive thing to do throughout the fasting day.
Oh . . . and don’t forget to tell a friend!

www.grandmajeddah.com

5 Tips on How to Get Your Youngster up for Suhoor without Shouting By: Grandma Jeddah

. . . continued from yesterday

The Second tip is to cook a delicious aromatic meal for suhoor.  Many people will tell you how nice it is to wake up to the aroma of fresh pancakes and bacon sizzling in the kitchen.  Once your child is aroused, your food on the stove can do the rest of the work for you.

To be continued, insha'Allah. . .