Principal's Message

Message from the Principal: Brother Eric Ali-- When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children. During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine. Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.-- Al-Madinah School: 1635 South Saint Andrews Place, Los Angeles, California 90019-- (1-323) 296-5961

Friday, March 2, 2012

Correction to the 2012 Discipline without Disrespecting Writing Contest

Bismillah Arahman Araheem
Discipline without Disrespecting
Writing Contest

Grandma Jeddah sincerely apologizes to all concerned.  There are two 1st place winners of the
2012 Discipline without Disrespecting Writing Contest
Congratulations to the 1st Place Winners of the 2012 Discipline without Disrespecting Writing Contest!
Hamiidah Kehinde
Humaira Khan
They both receive Grandma Jeddah’s Discipline without Disrespecting: Bonus Pack No-Hit-Kit. It includes--
1.     The original Discipline without Disrespecting e-Book
2.     The Discipline without Disrespecting e-Workbook
3.     The Discipline without Disrespecting Quick-Tip Guide
4.     The 1-Year-Membership Email Advice Sessions
May Allah bless both sisters to enjoy their gifts and bless the gifts to be of great benefit to them and their families
Please view the winning essays here or visit Grandma Jeddah’s website at

Hamiidah Kehinde
 1st Place Winner of the
2012 Discipline without Disrespecting Writing Contest
Topic: How to Discipline without Disrespecting
How to discipline without disrespecting
(at least, how to try!)

I’m a 30 year old mother of one beautiful thunder bolt of energy and sunshine! My little Aaish will be three in April and we continue to grow together every day. I’m an English teacher and I teach 10th and 11th grade Muslim girls here in Abuja, Nigeria. I believe that one of the best virtues to have is patience, for with Allaah and truck loads of patience one can surpass ANYTHING insha Allaah!

I don’t know about you but I’m far; really far from being a perfect Mom. It isn’t possible is it? What I do know is that I want to do my utmost best at being the best Mom that I can be to my daughter. It isn’t easy, is it? A t least for me it isn’t. It’s a conscious effort but I am more than willing to make that effort.
I’ve bought and read the books; Dobson, the Moores, Faber and Mazlish and all the others. While reading the books I cry and vow to be reborn and learn to speak the perfect way to my girl and how best to discipline her and I imagine the perfectly peaceful home we shall have. I imagine her turning out to be this fascinating, confident woman and us being the best of friends. But almost immediately I put the book down, she’ll do something naughty and l’ll feel the rage flying up my throat, struggling to get out.
So what am I doing writing an essay about how to discipline without disrespecting? Well, because I really REALLY want to learn to discipline without disrespecting. It is extremely important to me and if there was a Learn to be Patient class I could have taken before having my daughter-I would have taken it. Rather I find myself blessed with the most amazing gift of a daughter from Allaah and I know I have to learn on the job. And I want to learn. So every day I put my best foot forward and ask Allaah for guidance, patience and assistance.
Coming from a culture that doesn’t necessarily frown at spanking or tolerate the let-kids-express-themselves theory, I am having to un-learn a lot of things and principles. It was customary to scream at kids and smack them to put them in order. Yes sounds like child abuse now but certainly not with that intention.  Nowadays, as with almost everything else, beliefs and customs are beginning to evolve and so is child discipline. At first one might look a bit odd in a very traditional society but with time they’ll accept that that’s how things are done in one’s home.
 I make the conscious effort every day to remind myself that my daughter is just a child and means no harm when she does the things she does. I remind myself that her little hands are just learning to hold stuff so she might spill some things along the way and her sometimes maddening chatter will mean a lot to me some day. I tell myself to reign in my temper and dig deep into my well of patience when she wails and wails and throws a tantrum. Even as she tries to wrestle the laptop from me as I type this and whines in my ear that she wants to watch something or the other even though I’m working. I remember wise words that told me that girls with her name are usually strong-willed and so I patiently wait for her to wear her clothes herself, even if I have to do it all over again while distracting her with something else. And when she looks me straight in the eye and pouts her lips and with all the strength in her little body shouts “NO!” when I ask her to do something or stop doing something, I close my eyes and pray hard and remind myself that she’s just a child.
Allaah knows that it isn’t easy for all of us. I don’t always get it right. I mess up a lot actually but I continue to try and try. I love my girl more than words can say and when she cuddles up to me at night and snores lightly, my heart swells with such joy that this little bundle of energy is mine. I am therefore more than willing to learn and I make the effort every day. I want her to be a strong, confident woman and I know a lot of that has to do with our relationship.
 So what do I do to discipline without disrespecting? I try my best. I ask those who know better than I do and I make dua to Allaah to grant me patience, wisdom and make me the best Mom that I can be to my little sweetheart. With the amount of reward placed on being a mother by Allaah, why wouldn’t I?


Humaira Khan
 1st Place Winner of the
2012 Discipline without Disrespecting Writing Contest
Topic: How to Discipline without Disrespecting
Brief Bio: I am mom to 2 toddlers (3 ½ year-old boy and 20-month-old girl)  and to a 2 month old baby girl. I am from Pakistan but my children were all born here in the US where we have been living for the last 6 years.

I can't pretend to know all the answers when it comes to raising children, given that I am new at this job, but I have seen some things consistently work with my kids which I can share with you.

Toddlers are a HUGE challenge, to say the least. My patience is tested constantly and very often I begin to wonder if I am doing a good job with my kids. Nevertheless, here are some (disciplining) techniques that have worked for me:

1. Distraction!: This is my ultimate go-to idea! E.g. When my son is insisting I let him use the computer or asking me why he can't get what he wants, and I have already tried explaining to him why, I try to focus his attention on something he CAN have or reminding him about something interesting coming up that he is looking forward to (e.g. a visit to his cousins' house). Or I ask him to tell me about something that I knew he had felt happy about. I keep showing interest by asking questions until he's forgotten what he was throwing a tantrum over.

2. Telling him “No” differently. E.g. if he's asking for a new toy, I tell him we may get it another day. He likes the hope in this answer and doesn't mind that I have in essence said No!

3. Consistency: reprimanding only when the child misbehaves and praising and encouraging him for good behavior means that we must avoid treating him according to our mood. E.g. if he makes a small mistake and we scold him harshly because we are in a bad mood or ignore really bad behavior just because we are in a good mood, makes the child confused about how he needs to behave.

4. Not lying: This way the child learns that when mom/dad says something, they mean it.

5. Keeping cool while disciplining: (Easier said than done!) If we get angry, we are setting a bad example for him, and we may end up being unfair to him. Reminding oneself to always respond in a calm, cool, low voice is important - it shows the child that we are in control of the situation and he respects that. Children seem to expect adults to behave like adults and are disappointed when they don't.

6. Setting a good example: E.g. no amount of convincing him to brush his teeth will work but if he sees me brush every morning and evening, he will do the same. If we are good to our parents and elders, the child automatically follows suit. He learns through our actions, not so much through our words.

7. When he is in a good mood, talk to him about how a certain good behavior (that you desire him to develop) will please Allah (SWT), how the Prophet (SAW) used to behave and/or do certain things and how children who listen to Allah and His Messenger and to their mom and dad will be rewarded with Jannah (explaining to him that Jannah is a place where he can have anything he wants!). My son is really excited about going to Jannah and it serves as a strong motivator.

8. Looking out for good behavior, acknowledging it with hugs and kisses and reporting the good behavior to dad when he comes home. Noticing the good in the child and acknowledging it is as important in disciplining him as is reprimanding him for bad behavior.

9. Not just scolding him for doing something wrong but telling him how he SHOULD have behaved. A child doesn't know everything; he could have done things the wrong way because he didn't know what the right way was.

10. Telling him that good is good and bad is bad no matter who does it, and ensuring that each child is reprimanded for bad behavior not just the one who is usually the most disruptive.

11. Always verifying facts and attempting to understand why a certain behavior took place before judging. This is especially important when more than one child is involved to ensure that we are not judging unfairly. Our unfair treatment can cause our child to lose respect for us and become under-confident about himself.

12. Constantly reminding ourselves that our children do not belong to us; rather they are a trust from Allah.

I haven't perfected the use of these techniques but I remind myself often. May Allah make it easy for all of us.

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