5
Steps to Goal Setting to Get Homework Done
Jameela
Ho
What are the things that your children like to put
off doing? Most likely it is doing their household chores or their homework. Wouldn't it be wonderful to get your children to do these things without having to nag
them to it? If only they could just tidy their rooms by themselves, vacuum the
floor and take out the garbage when they see that these things needs to be
done. If only they could just sit at their desk, open their books and do their
homework of their own accord.
So how do you get your children to not put off doing
what needs to be done? Nagging has never worked and external rewards and
punishments only work for a short time. What they need is something they can
use to regulate themselves instead of some external enforcers doing it for them.
The most empowering way to encourage your child to
be more responsible is to teach your child goal setting.
There are five steps:
1.
Establish Goals
Be
Specific: Ask your child to write down what he needs to do.
He should be specific and detailed. “Doing homework” is too general because it
could mean any homework. “Finish math homework early” would be better.
Use
“I am”: Include the pronoun “I” as though he has already
achieved it, such as “I am going to successfully finish my math homework
early.”
Phrase
it Positively: Make sure that the goals are positively
phrased. Change anything that is negative into positive. If he writes “I will
not waste time” then change it to “I make the best use of my time.”
Once your child has his goals written down, have him
read them out loud and revisit them each day. By reading them each day, his
mind can be refreshed and he can continue to be motivated.
2.
Find Strategies
The second step is to find ways he can reach his
goals. So have him brainstorm and think of as many ways
he can. Write them down. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous or silly they are,
because once he has exhausted all his ideas, he can go through each one and
select the ones that are most effective and efficient for his goals.
Here is an example of
how to create a strategy. Ask your child to think of all the ways he could
successfully finish his math homework. Maybe he could first have a snack then
sit at his desk and begin his math homework. If he has other homework, such as
English, he could get another snack before starting on the English assignment.
He could continue on in this manner.
It is very important
here that your child comes up with his own strategies so that he can own it and
motivate himself to follow through, otherwise you might as well not use this
approach as you would be providing your child with your own rules to follow
(which is often ineffective with some children).
Once your child has
listed all his ideas and decided which ones would best serve his goals, you can
question him about whether his ideas are appropriate or not. Ask questions you
don’t know the answers to, otherwise you might unintentionally direct him
toward your own personal ideas, which might lessen his motivation.
Don’t worry about
immediate success. Allow your child to work by trial and error, which can be an
effective method of learning. To help him determine success or failure, there
is the review in Step 4 in which you can ask him how things are going. If things
aren’t working out as planned, he should revise and choose a better strategy.
3.
Set deadlines
Your child needs to set a time limit for his goals.
This will encourage him to complete his goals in a timely manner, as there is
an urgency to do so. “I will successfully finish my math homework early before
dinnertime,” gives him a deadline to work towards. “I will make the best use of
my time every day before 7 o’clock” gives him a definite goal to work towards,
as well.
4.
Chart Progress
Make a time chart for Monday through Friday. Have
your child keep a record of the times he finishes his homework each day. At the
end of the week, review the chart. Ask your child if he reached his objective
for each day. If he did, he should determine what made that possible and if he
didn’t, he should determine what stopped him from fulfilling it. He should then
brainstorm again or look back at the list from Step 2 and choose a different
strategy to reach the goal. Keep refining the strategies until your child has
found the perfect one for accomplishing his goal.
5.
Celebrate Success
The last step is to celebrate any success that your
child has made. So at the end of the week, if he successfully accomplished his
goals, he can choose a reward. Get him to make a list of rewards that he would
like to celebrate with. It should be something sufficient enough to get him
excited and motivated to keep going, yet not too excessive like a party. The
reward could be extra time on the internet, a movie, or a few hours free time
to do whatever he likes without interruption– whatever your child comes up with
that is reasonable. Each week he can choose from this list.
This process is similar to the rewards (Behaviour
Chart) system parents use, but instead of parents determining what and how
children should accomplish their goals (and behaviours) it puts the power into
the child’s hands, and they decide what they need to do and how to get
themselves there. This not only empowers them but it also motivates.
If you like this article and want to apply it to
your own goals then please grab your copy of my book ‘Successfully Done: 16
Easy Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Finally Reach Your Goals’ at Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O2GXVGS
Get started because I want to help you
achieve your goals.
Bio:
Jameela Ho firmly believes that every child should have
access to quality education and that parents can provide it with a little help.
Throughout her years as a teacher, her passion has been helping children learn
and helping parents get the same training as teachers.
Parents often feel frustrated and anxious about their
children's education. They are genuinely concerned about helping but feel helpless
because of a lack of knowledge or skills. For this reason, Jameela offers
consultations and workshops to simplify teaching and parenting, both online and
offline, as well as an education centre called 'ILMA Education' to teach
children and parents.
If you are a parent (or teacher) who needs the tools to
help your children, then please visit http://jameelaho.wordpress.com and http://ilmaeduplay.blogger.com.au or send me a message and we can discuss how I can help
you.
MashaAllah great ideas! I have an 8 yr old son who likes to be independent and i feel how important to let them decide their own goals and strategies. Jazakallahu Khayr.
ReplyDeleteAlhamdulillah. Let me know how it goes. In the meantime, head on over to my blog where I've created an infographic of these 5 steps for easy reference. Just click on it and save. http://ilmaeduplay.blogspot.com.au/2014/10/5-steps-to-goal-setting-for-children-to.html
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