Monday, July 25, 2016
Monday, July 18, 2016
Mother can’t stick with respectful discipline (By Grandma Jeddah)
Mother can’t stick with respectful discipline
Excerpt from--
Discipline Pearls
For Your Most
Challenging Discipline Problems
Don’t stress too much over not maintaining a positive approach. Simply do the best you can and never give up. It took me years to make my new parenting habits second nature. It
takes a lot of patience to maintain composure when your child is doing something that upsets you. Remember that patience is something that is developed over time. Ask Allah to bless you with patience, without difficulty or trial. And read Quran regularly—Allah mentions often in the Quran the reward of being patient. Also, continue reading parenting resources on how to discipline more effectively. This will keep you motivated and focused, insha’Allah
Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Is Your Child Being Bullied at School? By Grandma Jeddah
Excerpt from--
Discipline Pearls
For Your
Most
Challenging
Discipline Problems
6-year-old
son bullied at school
Some of the children at my son’s school are
bullying him and I don’t know how to handle it. I told him yesterday that we
will go for a haircut today and he vehemently protested, almost to the point of
tears. So I sat him down and asked why he didn’t want his hair cut. His first
reason was that it made him feel cold especially after making wudu. His second
was that some boys—4 of them—chased him and hit him on the head. They refuse to
stop when he asks them to and then they laugh when he cries. I felt sorry for
him but what to do? How to handle it? I thought of either telling their mothers
or their teachers but that might just make the situation worse for him.
I’m sorry to hear about the problem you are
having with your son being bullied. No one wants to know that their child is
being mistreated. Hearing this from your son can be distressing. May Allah
reward you for seeking out positive ways of trying to handle what your son is
experiencing. May Allah guide you to the best solutions and resolve the problem
for you.
Commend your son for coming to you with his
problem. You want him to continue confiding in you with his problems as he gets
older. This will allow you to develop an amicable and constructive relationship
with him that will be extremely beneficial during his adolescent and teen
years, insha’Allah. Listen with concern,
and understanding. Be supportive. Avoid
overreacting, as this can cause your son to become hesitant in confiding in you
in the future. It seems from your letter that you are responding to your son’s
problem in a constructive manner.
Here are several suggestions to help your
son with bullying:
First, let your son’s teacher know about
what your child is telling you. Your concern that the bullying may get worse is
a legitimate one. However, making the teacher aware is still preferable for
several reasons. First, you can find out if there is another side to the story.
This is not to imply that your son is not telling the truth. Perhaps the
children start out playing and then end up becoming to rough or some other
scenario exists that isn’t clearly bullying behavior. Or, the situation could simply be just as
your son described. If the teacher is aware of the situation and has observed
interactions between your son and the other boys, this will give you a more in
depth understanding regarding the bullying situation, thus, lead you to ways of
dealing with your son’s problem.
Second, if the teacher is unaware of the
bullying, then your informing her can help eliminate or at least minimize the
bullying. Once the teacher has been informed of the problem, she can then
implement strategies to resolve the problem.
After informing the teacher, periodically
ask your son how things are going at school in an attempt to elicit information
about the bullying. In a casual way you can even ask him if the boys are still
bullying him. If it is continuing, speak with the teacher again. If this brings
little change, talk with the principal. Inform him that you talked to the
teacher about your son’s bullying problem, but it’s still continuing and what
should you do now.
There are also a few things you can do to
help your son self-manage the bullying behavior to some degree, insha’Allah.
Teach him how to be assertive. When his
school mates hit him, tell him to speak firmly and loudly “Stop! I don’t like
that.” or “I’m not playing anymore.” Or “No, stop that!” You can have coaching
sessions at home in which you role play the bully and bullied, teaching your
son words and phrases to use when he is being bullied.
Also tell him it’s OK and even encouraged
to tell authority figures at school about his being teased or hit. Tell him to
inform his teacher, the yard-duty aid, or whichever adult can take care of the
situation. It’s harder to be a bully when you’re being observed by school
personnel.
Remind your son to avoid playing with or
being around the boys that are bullying him. Encourage him to find friends he
can be with who don’t treat him mean. Encourage him to stay with these friends
at recess or after school. Bullies are less likely to bully when their intended
victim is in a group.
Another helpful thing you can do is enroll
your son in martial arts. Knowing self defense techniques can help build
self-esteem which can help your son carry himself in a more assertive and
confident manner. In addition, it can give him the skills he needs to fight
back, if needed.
Also, if not cutting your son’s hair will
help eliminate him from appearing different around his pears that are bullying,
then you might opt out of giving him a haircut. Sometimes bullies pick on
children that are different. Not all children can change their “differences.”
But some differences can be changed or avoided. Where to draw the line on
conceding to conforming behavior is a personal decision.
Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm
Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/ and http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html
Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/ and http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html
Excerpt from--
Discipline Pearls
For Your
Most
Challenging
Discipline Problems
6-year-old
son bullied at school
Some of the children at my son’s school are
bullying him and I don’t know how to handle it. I told him yesterday that we
will go for a haircut today and he vehemently protested, almost to the point of
tears. So I sat him down and asked why he didn’t want his hair cut. His first
reason was that it made him feel cold especially after making wudu. His second
was that some boys—4 of them—chased him and hit him on the head. They refuse to
stop when he asks them to and then they laugh when he cries. I felt sorry for
him but what to do? How to handle it? I thought of either telling their mothers
or their teachers but that might just make the situation worse for him.
I’m sorry to hear about the problem you are
having with your son being bullied. No one wants to know that their child is
being mistreated. Hearing this from your son can be distressing. May Allah
reward you for seeking out positive ways of trying to handle what your son is
experiencing. May Allah guide you to the best solutions and resolve the problem
for you.
Commend your son for coming to you with his
problem. You want him to continue confiding in you with his problems as he gets
older. This will allow you to develop an amicable and constructive relationship
with him that will be extremely beneficial during his adolescent and teen
years, insha’Allah. Listen with concern,
and understanding. Be supportive. Avoid
overreacting, as this can cause your son to become hesitant in confiding in you
in the future. It seems from your letter that you are responding to your son’s
problem in a constructive manner.
Here are several suggestions to help your
son with bullying:
First, let your son’s teacher know about
what your child is telling you. Your concern that the bullying may get worse is
a legitimate one. However, making the teacher aware is still preferable for
several reasons. First, you can find out if there is another side to the story.
This is not to imply that your son is not telling the truth. Perhaps the
children start out playing and then end up becoming to rough or some other
scenario exists that isn’t clearly bullying behavior. Or, the situation could simply be just as
your son described. If the teacher is aware of the situation and has observed
interactions between your son and the other boys, this will give you a more in
depth understanding regarding the bullying situation, thus, lead you to ways of
dealing with your son’s problem.
Second, if the teacher is unaware of the
bullying, then your informing her can help eliminate or at least minimize the
bullying. Once the teacher has been informed of the problem, she can then
implement strategies to resolve the problem.
After informing the teacher, periodically
ask your son how things are going at school in an attempt to elicit information
about the bullying. In a casual way you can even ask him if the boys are still
bullying him. If it is continuing, speak with the teacher again. If this brings
little change, talk with the principal. Inform him that you talked to the
teacher about your son’s bullying problem, but it’s still continuing and what
should you do now.
There are also a few things you can do to
help your son self-manage the bullying behavior to some degree, insha’Allah.
Teach him how to be assertive. When his
school mates hit him, tell him to speak firmly and loudly “Stop! I don’t like
that.” or “I’m not playing anymore.” Or “No, stop that!” You can have coaching
sessions at home in which you role play the bully and bullied, teaching your
son words and phrases to use when he is being bullied.
Also tell him it’s OK and even encouraged
to tell authority figures at school about his being teased or hit. Tell him to
inform his teacher, the yard-duty aid, or whichever adult can take care of the
situation. It’s harder to be a bully when you’re being observed by school
personnel.
Remind your son to avoid playing with or
being around the boys that are bullying him. Encourage him to find friends he
can be with who don’t treat him mean. Encourage him to stay with these friends
at recess or after school. Bullies are less likely to bully when their intended
victim is in a group.
Another helpful thing you can do is enroll
your son in martial arts. Knowing self defense techniques can help build
self-esteem which can help your son carry himself in a more assertive and
confident manner. In addition, it can give him the skills he needs to fight
back, if needed.
Also, if not cutting your son’s hair will
help eliminate him from appearing different around his pears that are bullying,
then you might opt out of giving him a haircut. Sometimes bullies pick on
children that are different. Not all children can change their “differences.”
But some differences can be changed or avoided. Where to draw the line on
conceding to conforming behavior is a personal decision.
Order and read the entire book today, insha'Allah at: http://grandmajeddah.com/Discipline-Pearls-For-Your-Most-Challenging-Discipline-Problems-136.htm
Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/ and http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html
Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. Order her e-book or Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://shop.grandmajeddah.com/ and http://www.grandmajeddah.com/subscribe-page.html
Be a Very Good Muslim to Your Children (By Grandma Jeddah)
Be a Very Good Muslim to Your Children
Narrated Abu Musa “Some people asked Allah’s Apostle, “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (who is a very good Muslim?”He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands. (Bukhari)https://islamiclifestylemagazine.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/be-a-very-good-muslim-to-your-children-by-grandma-jeddah/
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