This book is for Muslim parents who are concerned about raising their children up as good Muslims. It was written for these parents, but its intent is not to present what they should teach their children. The purpose of this book is to offer parents an awareness of the manner in which they should guide their children toward virtuous lifestyles. It’s for those parents who want to guide their children to what’s right but also want to direct in ways that have been encouraged in our religion. These parents wish to avoid instructing in ways that are contrary to our religion.
Many Muslim parents today (converts as well as those born into Islam) discipline their children according to their family’s cultural traditions rather than Islamic culture. Some of these traditional methods may be appropriate Islamically--others may not. Muslims are generally fervent in wanting their children to grow up as obedient and God fearing Muslims. Sometimes this passion can lead to excesses and even transgressions when disciplining. One of the most common present day customary methods of training children is the use of corporal punishment.
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When I first became Muslim, I was one of those parents who used physical discipline on a regular basis. I had only my family background to use as a reference point when raising my children.
There were no English Islamic books written at the time which provided New Muslim parents with Islamically based methods of child discipline . . . at least none that I knew of.
And when I observed those around me, I noticed that some Muslim parents found little hesitation in slapping their children in the face. Calling children derogatory names wasn’t off the list either. So as a new Muslim convert, to me, my methods of disciplining my children seemed normal and not contrary to Islam.
Alhamdullilah, presently, a host of Islamic books, articles, lectures, aswell as websites and blogs offer Muslim parents guidance as to how we as Muslims should direct our children toward proper behavior. These teachings explain that the Quran and our Prophet Muhammad (saw) discouraged harsh discipline, hitting in the face, and the use of disparaging remarks when correcting children.
Things have changed greatly, by the Mercy of Allah, from those decades eons ago when I began raising my family. There is an abundance of parenting information on the negative effectives of being excessively harsh when disciplining our children from both Islamic as well as secular sources.
This book, How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way introduces parents to some of the Islamic references that suggest the manner in which we should instruct our children. It raises parents’ awareness to the possibility that many of the methods they may be using to manage their child’s behavior may be a result of cultural habit, rather than religious instruction. There are many examples from the Prophet’s (saw) manner of correcting that guide us to the conclusion that when disciplining our children, we should be patient, kind and gentle.
I’m sure many of you are thinking about the hadith that mentions hitting your children at 10 if they don’t pray. Don’t worry— we will discuss that later in the book, Insha’Allah. Many parents might also be wondering—how do you raise a child without hitting him. That is somewhat beyond the scope of this book. However, suffice it to say there are loads of ways to correct children without hitting and shouting at them. You can find over 25 ways to discipline your child without hitting or shouting in my e-book Discipline without Disrespecting:; Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It. www.grandmajeddah.com