7-year-old Daughter talks back (By: Grandma Jeddah)

.  7-year-old Daughter talks back

My 7-year-old is giving me a lot of back talk and wants to have her way despite my instructions to the contrary. She also has an overabundance of energy.  I would not label her hyperactive but fairly close.

Use the star chart system; it works wonders! Children similar to your daughter who exhibit signs of hyperactivity respond very favorably to positive reinforcement. First, explain to your daughter how the star chart system works. Let her know that it’s a new way you’ve found to help her do things you want her to do. Then, periodically when you notice that you have corrected her or directed her to do something and she doesn’t talk back, tell her she has a star for not talking back, and place a star on her chart. On occasions that she does back-talk, remove a star from her chart. When she receives 10 stars, allow her a special privilege, buy her a desired gift, or treat her to something special that she would like, insha’Allah.

The hardest part of this system is remaining consistent in seeking out the times that your daughter is avoiding back-talk. Parents tend to respond when their child misbehaves rather than when the child behaves appropriately. If you neglect to seek out times when your daughter is not talking back and react only when she does give you back-talk, you are less inclined to have success with this discipline method.

Also, remember to teach and explain to your daughter exactly how you want her to talk to you. Let her know that you want her to talk to you in a respectful tone, then model that tone for her.

Try this with your daughter for back-talk: give her options that she can use as an alternative to talking back to you. For instance, if you’ve told her to take a bath and get ready for bed and she doesn’t want to, let her know that it’s OK for her to let you know  her wishes—but she must inform you in a respectful tone. “Mommy, may I take my bath later?”  With consistency, I think you’ll find great success with these methods, insha’Allah. 

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah's e-book 67 Discipline Pearls for Your Most Challenging Discipline Problems. Order your copy today at www.grandmajeddah.com 

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 16 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. She has written dozens of articles for Muslim magazines, newspapers and blogs.  She is the author of, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Order her e-books at:  http://www.grandmajeddah.com/