Principal's Message

Message from the Principal: Brother Eric Ali-- When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children. During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine. Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.-- Al-Madinah School: 1635 South Saint Andrews Place, Los Angeles, California 90019-- madina@pacbell.net (1-323) 296-5961

Monday, December 30, 2013

How to Touch Your Child's Heart: Using Influences (Outstanding Muslim Parent)

How to Touch Your Child's Heart: Using Influences (Outstanding Muslim Parent)
http://outstandingmuslimparents.tv/lp-1/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, December 27, 2013

Becoming a Patient Parent (Mothers Notebook)

Becoming a Patient Parent (Mothers Notebook)
http://www.mothersnotebook.com/?p=1827



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Value of Stay-at-Home Moms (Focus on the Family)

The Value of Stay-at-Home Moms (Focus on the Family)
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_roles/value-of-stay-at-home-moms.aspx

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Special Time at Home


                                        Special Time at Home
                                          By Grandma Jeddah
Special time is not only for outings.  Make a game day at home.  Every Friday night you can play scrabble or cards, color, put together puzzles, or play guessing games. Begin reading a chapter book to them that they enjoy.  Read a chapter or simply a few pages each day or each week.    Of course if you have four, five, six children or more, spending personal time can become a true challenge.  Play card games or board games with several at a time.  Or just simply plop down on the bed while you’re nursing the baby; the others are sure to trample in. While nursing, engage the others in conversation about their day at school or whatever might interest them.  Try reading a story to several kids at a time.  Place one child on your lap and one at each side. Each day you read, rotate who gets to sit on your lap. Discuss the story with everyone after you’ve finished reading.  Spending half an hour of personal time for each child can seem impractical when you have a house full of children and a household to run.  Do what you can.  Every little bit helps.
 Are you beginning to see how easy it is to develop ideas of your own that will help you give your child the attention he seeks?  When some of your children are away at school, use the time for the younger ones.  Dig out the play dough and puzzles.  Play catch or kick ball in the house with a soft Nerf ball.  Let little Omar help mix the eggs for breakfast or crack the peanuts for the granola.
            When the younger ones are in bed at night, use that time for some of the older ones. Or you can multi-task--that method we mothers know all too well.  Your daughter, who is still in the fantasy stage about the joys of washing dishes or cooking dinner, can join in the activity with you.  You wash and she rinses.  That‘s a huge chunk of one-on-one time right there.  Or you could let one of your children help you cook.  Certainly, all of this delays the time you use to complete your responsibilities but so does stopping to deal with behavior problems. 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Monday, December 16, 2013

Parents and Children

Parents and Children (alislam.com)
http://www.al-islam.org/islamic-family-life-sayyid-akhtar-rizvi/parents-and-children


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Parents and Children

Parents and Children (alislam.com)
http://www.al-islam.org/islamic-family-life-sayyid-akhtar-rizvi/parents-and-children


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Focus on Strengths


                                      Focus on Strengths
                                                     By Grandma Jeddah

Focus on your child’s abilities rather than weaknesses. Children who are constantly bombarded with corrections, complaints, and criticism develop hostilities that can result in combative, defensive, and resistant behaviors.  If you frequently hear these phrases from your child, she may be defensive:
“I don’t care.”
“I’m bored.”
“So what?”
“Leave me alone.”

            Take mental note or written notes of what your child enjoys doing and is capable of doing.  When you see her involved in these activities, compliment her endeavors.  Compliments boost her self esteem which gives her the desire to cooperate. When praising, don’t ruin it by following up with a negative.  “I see you’re texting your friends.  You seem to like text messaging.  You spelled school wrong it’s s-c-h . . . .” Leave a compliment a compliment. Also, be sure to involve your child in activities where she can succeed.  Find activities that she enjoys that aren’t competitive.  Someone else‘s winning is at the cost of your child losing . . . often repeatedly.  Your child might be heard saying, “I never win.”  The fact is, she’s probably correct.  This can cause her to begin to doubt herself and her abilities.  This is why it’s a good idea to get her engaged in non-competitive activities.  Examples of such interests can be shooting hoops free style,  hiking, fishing,  bird watching, rock collecting, shell collecting, swimming, scrapbook making,  roller skating, ice skating, assembling puzzles, beading jewelry, creating crafts, sewing, gardening, T-shirt printing, T-shirt tie dying, designing tissue paper flowers and much more.  You can look up crafts and hobbies on-line or visit the library for books to check out.


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com



Tuesday, December 10, 2013

How to Get your Child to Bed without Hassle

How to Get your Child to Bed without Hassle (effectiveislamicparenting.com)
http://www.effectiveislamicparenting.com/2013/01/how-to-get-your-child-to-bed-without-hassle/


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Give Me a Break

Give Me a Break
By Grandma Jeddah
Try this wonderfully useful discipline method--“Time-Out”.  When your child misbehaves, send him to his room for some time out.  If you have other children in the home and they share a room with your misbehaving child, make sure he spends his time-out alone.  You want a room where he can be unaccompanied and not have interaction with others.  Although it’s preferable to have a permanent room that is used for time-outs, any room in the house that is not occupied will suffice. Even a spot on the couch, in a corner or in the hallway can be used.  Select a location that is reasonable for your home setting.    This is as long as there is no concern he will cause harm to himself.  A general exception to any room in the house would be the bathroom and kitchen.  The kitchen has fire and hot items which could be dangerous and the bathroom is generally an unclean place.


Keep in mind that children with ADHD may need a room rather than simply sitting in one spot for their time-out period.  Their inability to remain still for an extensive period may lead you to unnecessarily enforce further sanctions due to their failure to be able to sit still for the duration. For older kids around 10 to 13 years of age, time-out can be waiting outside of the house.  This is used for extremely unruly children who are expressing defiance and showing their complete disregard to your 1-2-3 counting or stars off.  Be sure not to react emotionally when directing your child to go outside.  Give your child his warning of stopping the extreme behavior by the time you count to 3 or he’ll have to wait outside for 10 minutes. Outside time-outs are useful during periods when your child appears to be going through an “out of control” moment.  This works well with strong-willed children and those with ADHD.  Make sure his friends aren’t around outside before you send him out so he won’t have his companions to entertain him. Leaving the house can have a strong impact because your child is completely removed from participation in the home. It’s as if he’s an outcast.


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Monday, December 2, 2013

Raising Upright Children

Raising Upright Children (SeekGuidance.com)
http://seekersguidance.org/courses/GEN140


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Islam and Discipline of Children

Islam and Discipline of Children
                                                                     By Grandma Jeddah

Anas Ibn Maalik said, “I served the Prophet (SAW) for ten years, and he never hit me, insulted me, or frowned in my face.” (Muslim)
What’s all this talk about raising your child without hitting?  This is not our way, you might say.  After all, there is a hadith that says at age 10 if your child doesn’t pray then hit him.1  And there‘s another hadith reported by Ibn Abaas that says to hang your belt where the members of the household can see it, for that will discipline them.2
            But have you heard about the position some of the well known scholars and educators have taken on the position of hitting kids, in light of the above ahaadith?  To find the answers, you might have to dig deep and search hard for the understanding.
The information that is profusely presented to most parents is that you should hit your child for misbehavior or you’ll spoil and ruin him. This is how most of us were probably raised. But is there a basis for this concept in Islam?  Is it based upon The Quran, sunnah or the ways of the Sahaba?  Or, is it simply a cultural habit that has been passed down from generation to generation among both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
Some scholars, such as Sheikh Albaani (ra), have said that it is completely forbidden to hit your children if they are under the age of 10 or haven’t reached puberty.  During one of the Sheikh’s lectures a listener asked the following question about hitting:
“. . . regarding hitting, sometimes you find students leave their houses and have no manners, even good advice does not benefit them, so does hitting them fall into necessity?”
Sheikh Albaani (ra) replied, “There is no necessity.  Where is the necessity here?  Can you comprehend that hitting would benefit when the One who created him said, do not hit him until he reaches the age of seven [ten]?”

Sheikh Albaani (ra) then continued, “There is no hitting, no hitting at all.  Rather there is directing, advising and speech.  Sometimes words have a greater [e]affect on people than hitting.  In addition, hitting with some people does not help at all; rather it makes them continue on what they’re upon more and more.  What is important is that the best of all guidance is the guidance of Muhammad; may peace and blessings be upon Him. Thus, the child is not to be hit so long that he did not reach the age of puberty.3


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Monday, November 25, 2013

Peaceful Parenting: from Aha Parenting

Peaceful Parenting: from Aha Parenting
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/Peaceful_Parenting

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A Muslim Parent

A Muslim Parent (zawaj.com)
http://www.zawaj.com/articles/muslim_parent.html

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, November 14, 2013

One Scholars view of "Hit them when they are 10 if they don't pray"

One Scholars view of "Hit them when they are 10 if they don't pray"


The following was taken from an article in the Saudi Gazette1: Sheikh Muhammad Nasiruddeen Al-Albani (May Allah have mercy on him) was asked if it was permissible for teachers to hit students to discipline them. His reply is an eye-opener for us:

          As far as hitting the face, this is not permissible due to the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “Do not hit the face and do not disfigure.” As for hitting a student in general to discipline, (let’s) mention the statement of the Prophet, “Command your children to pray when they reach the age of seven and hit them if they leave it off when they reach the age of 10, and separate them from each other in the beds.
          “This Hadith is proof that it is not permissible for those in charge to hit a child, whether student or not, for not obeying commands until he reaches the age of 10. Without doubt, whatever knowledge any teacher wants to impart to his students will not be more important than saying prayer.
          “If the Prophet (peace be upon him) prohibited fathers from hitting their children for not praying, until they reached the age of 10, then with all the more reason, it is not permissible for those other than the father to hit children for something (lesser) than the salah until they reached the age of 10.
          “Thus, it is not permissible for teachers to beat children even if they did not obey him regarding the salah
.
http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentID=2009012828000

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, How to Discipline Children the Islamic Way.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com



Monday, November 11, 2013

Islamic Way of Parenting

 Islamic Way of Parenting (Islam44.net)
http://www.islam44.net/2011/07/islamic-way-of-parenting.html


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, November 8, 2013

Calm, Cool and Collected


Calm, Cool and Collected
By Grandma Jeddah

“So be patient with gracious patience."  (Quran 70: 5)
Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm with glad tidings and do not repulse them. (Bukhari)

There are several reasons why you should remain calm when disciplining your child. One reason is because you want to develop a loving relationship with her.   A child that feels loved and respected is more inclined to want to please his parents. This makes things easier for the parent in her role of parenting. You are your child’s primary teacher. You don’t want to lose that connection between you and your child.  Even though your child will go through periods in which peer pressure reigns, your child will still be open to your suggestions if you have an understanding relationship. This helps you continue exercising your influence into the period of adolescence and beyond.
            Another reason to maintain your composure when disciplining  is because when you become angry when correcting your child, rather than emphasizing that you want him to behave, you are instilling in your child that he has the power to control your emotions. Let us say your child is angry because you're not letting him play his Play Station for three days because he neglected to complete his homework three days in a row during the week. He is angry and vindictive. Even if he has to sit in his room for 30 minutes, it’s worth it if he can ruffle your feathers and make you feel the frustration and pain he’s feeling right now for missing out on his games.
Remaining calm also shows your child that being rude and saying hurtful remarks are not the way to solve his problem.  For some high-spirited children, your anger and shouting are likely to escalate and intensify the child’s resistance and encourage a battle of wills.  He is likely to start a tantrum or other aggressive behavior that you feel helpless to control. Usually when you feel helpless and at a loss as to what you should do with your child, you tend to resort back to what you're comfortable and familiar with—hitting.  Controlling your anger can stop this power struggle before it starts in the first place.
Remaining calm shows your child you’re in control--you have the reigns. The strong-willed child needs to know you’re the director of him. This actually helps him feel more secure. He wants to know what his limits are, and he wants to be guided. 
Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (saw) counseled a man who asked for his advice and told him three times “Don’t get angry.” (Bukhari Vol 8 no. 137)
Sometimes parents themselves need to calm down and deal with their own feelings first before they attempt to handle the behavior of their child.  If you are in a bad mood or your child has done something that really ticks you off, do not immediately react.  Take a breather.  Go to your room for a few seconds—or minutes.  Count to ten.  The Prophet (saw) counseled not to get angry.   He also recommended that when you are angry you should sit down.  If you’re already sitting, then lie down. 31  Don’t act upon your anger.  Be still until you have calmed down.  You will be in a healthier state of mind to make the proper decisions for both you and your child.
When your child observes your actions during your episodes of frustration and anger, he learns from you.  If you tend to become physically violent with him when you’re angry, your child will learn this as acceptable behavior.  If you rant, curse and shout, he will learn this as acceptable behavior during his periods of anger, too.  You are his role model, his teacher.  Your actions are what he will emulate.




Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Monday, November 4, 2013

Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters (happymuslimah.com)
http://www.happymuslimah.com/2008/05/mothers-and-daughters.html


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Take a Walk Together


                            Take a Walk Together
As you read this section, little by little you begin to discover uncomplicated ways of giving your child attention.  If you walk as a regular daily routine, take one of your kids along with you on one of your walking adventures.  This provides an opportunity for you and your child to engage in pleasant conversation.  Talk about the many colored flowers you notice along the way. Enjoy the bluebirds landing in their nests or the squirrels scampering up the trees.  Delight in the puffy clouds floating across the sky.  Ask them who created all of the wonderful things you enjoy on your excursion.

            Are you beginning to see there are countless simple ways of showing your child you care about him by giving him special notice?  Your turn now.  Make your own list of ways to show your child you’re pleased Allah blessed you with him.


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Parenting in the Age of New Media - Advice for (Muslim) Parents

Parenting in the Age of New Media - Advice for (Muslim) Parents (patheos.com)
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/altmuslim/2013/06/parenting-in-the-age-of-new-media-advice-for-muslim-parents/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, October 25, 2013

Make Obeying Fun-- By: Grandma Jeddah

Make Obeying Fun: By Grandma Jeddah

A great way to encourage your child to comply with rules is making the atmosphere friendly. Instead of directing with sternness, try using a little humor.

Abu Hurayrah (ra) narrates: We said: O Messenger of Allah! You jest with us? He said (saw)"Yes except that I do not say except what is true."  (Tirmidhi)

          You don't have to be a comedian to make your child laugh. Tickle your kids. Play Knock, Knock who’s there? 

“Knock, Knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Clean.”
“Clean who?”
“Clean your room--it’s messy.”

          Yeah . . .I know it’s corny- but kids enjoy corniness.
Or how about this one for a messy room—“It’s a good thing your toys aren’t lions or they would’ve eaten you by now.” (Yuck!) The point is, just lighten up a bit.
Remember that your jokes should not be fiction.  According to a hadith, The Prophet (saw) discouraged lying when joking.

According to Hadith, The Prophet (saw) said: woe to the one who speaks and tells a lie in order to make people laugh.  Woe to him.  Then again, woe to him. (Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhi, and Al-Nasaai)


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Let her show you how respectful discipline methods, which encourage calmness, advising, gentleness and non-corporal consequences, can be a successful means of training  your children to be Allah fearing Muslims. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Motherhood Series: When Iman Level Drops (by: Sana Gul) Productive Muslim

Motherhood Series: When Iman Level Drops (by: Sana Gul) Productive Muslim
http://productivemuslim.com/motherhood-series-3/#comment-11140

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Let her show you how respectful discipline methods, which encourage calmness, advising, gentleness and non-corporal consequences, can be a successful means of training  your children to be Allah fearing Muslims. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, October 18, 2013

5 Tips to put Baby to Sleep

5 Tips to put Baby to Sleep (umddean.blogspot.com)
http://umdean.blogspot.com/2013/03/5-tips-to-put-baby-to-sleep.html


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Monday, October 14, 2013

You Hurt Me

You Hurt Me
by Grandma Jeddah
Abû Hurayrah (ra) reported that Prophet Muhammad (saw) said:
"Indeed Allâh is gentle and loves gentleness, and gives due to gentleness that which He does not give to harshness." (Muslim)

One of the most difficult situations for parents to handle calmly is when their children use words or actions that hurt their feelings.  Although parents do not cause children to behave in a vengeful manner, they can influence a child to misbehave this way.
One of the ways you can lead your child to act resentfully is by being disrespectful to him.  Shouting, calling him names, embarrassing him, or hurting him physically not only builds bitterness, it counters a positive relationship between you and your child.  This breakdown in the relationship is frequently seen during the adolescent years.
 When kids get older, in particular during adolescence and early adulthood, hitting is not a reasonable option.  A mother may have been able to control her young child with such measures due to the mother’s greater size and superior intellect.  These assets shift during the child’s adolescent and young adult years.  Children at this age are just as big as or bigger than their parents.  And their ability to reason intellectually soars during this time period.  Children at this age may refuse to accept being physically hit or spoken to brusquely.  The repercussions are a contentious environment and an indignant child who is less willing to obey. This rebellion is not only expressed toward family members but can also be seen in aversion and lack of obedience to religious instruction, as well.

Narrated Anas: Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm with glad tidings, and do not make people adverse. (Bukhari, Muslim)

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ
It is part of the mercy of Allah that you deal gently with them. If you were severe or hardhearted, they would have broken away from you . . .  (Quran 3: 159)

Your child is more willing to cooperate with you even when it’s against his wishes when you two have a respectful, understanding and cooperative relationship.  In Dr. Michael Poplin’s book Taming the Spirited Child he mentions that in one of his counseling sessions with an older teenager, he had to explain to the young man that he knew how difficult it was for the young man to do what he knows is right when that action is the same as what his parents wanted him to do. This aversion to obeying parents when hurt by them can be very strong in children. Knowing this can help direct parents in managing their child's behavior.  Instead of venting your anger through vicious strikes and belligerent tirades, remain calm and civil when correcting your child.  Some parents believe that a hard approach such as forcing their child into submission will achieve their goal. But often the opposite is true.  Force builds aversion which breaks down reception of information as well as communication.  It also leads to resistance that can lead to conflict.  Whenever possible, parents should make things easy for their children. When your child is content with you, he is more inclined to be content with the religion you have raised him with.
It is related that 'Umar said: 'Do not make people dislike Allah, by making the salah so long that it should become hard on those praying behind you." 6

It is reported that the Prophet (saw) said: Allah did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but he sent me to teach and make things easy. (Muslim)

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, October 11, 2013

The upbringing of Muslim children

The upbringing of Muslim children (muslimchild.blogspot.com)
http://muslimchild.blogspot.com/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Bully-Proofing Your Kids (Dr. Michelle Borba)

Bully-Proofing Your Kids (Dr. Michelle Borba)
http://micheleborba.com/bully-proofing-our-kids/

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Parents and Children

Parents and Children (al-Islam.org)
http://www.al-islam.org/islamic-family-life-rizvi/3.htm



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Sunday, September 29, 2013

3 Reasons for a Daily Bath

3 Reasons for a Daily Bath (umdean.blogspot.com)
http://umdean.blogspot.com/2013/04/3-reasons-for-daily-bath.html


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, September 26, 2013

What can you do to get your child active?

                             




                                   What can you do to get your child active?
                                                    by Grandma Jeddah   
Involve you child in sports activities (karate, wrestling, basketball, archery, horseback riding, hiking, swimming.) This will allow him to express his energetic behavior in an acceptable fashion. Involving your child in after school sports programs can be an ideal way for him to get adequate exercise.  Regular practice is often held for the big games; this is a convenient way for your child to get consistent exercise. Martial Arts is another sport that offers a comprehensive workout.  Practicing karate moves at home on days he doesn’t attend class can become a routine that contributes to daily fitness. 

One of the best forms of exercise is just plain old free-time play.  If you have a yard and your child has siblings or friends you have the makings of daily exercise without your involvement. Have jump ropes, basketball hoops, balls and other play equipment available. Often just having kids together invites activity. Remember to monitor and minimize computer use, TV, DVDs and other sedentary activities with your children.


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Making Families Work

Making Families Work (muslimmatters.com)

http://muslimmatters.org/2013/05/10/making-families-work-yasir-qadhi/



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, September 20, 2013

Avoid Name Calling


                                       Avoid Name Calling
                                       by Grandma Jeddah
If your child’s misbehavior leads to your feeling hurt or angry, it’s possible your child is trying to get back at you for mistreating him.  This situation often results in a vicious cycle.  Your child gets angry and acts out rebelliously.   Mother gets back at the child for his vengeful behavior and the child responds back again.  Keep in mind that infants do not seek revenge, and toddlers may not realize this is what they are doing. 
Acting out your frustration or anger when disciplining your child is completely counterproductive to developing a loving and understating relationship.  It can lead to unintended physical harm that causes your child to become resentful and even develop feelings of hate towards parents.  Your child has been enjoined by Allah to be kind to you, not to even say a simple disrespectful word to you.  Acting out your anger toward him makes obeying this command from Allah difficult for your child. 
Don’t be deluded--Muslim parents are not immune from the frustrations which lead to child maltreatment.  Neither are they protected from the resultant unfavorable ramifications that can result from their own uncontrolled emotions getting out of hand.  This is one significant reason why it’s imperative parents seek alternative methods of discipline to physically hitting their child.


يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَومٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاء مِّن نِّسَاء عَسَى أَن يَكُنَّ
خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ بِئْسَ الاِسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ
فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ
O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong.
 (Quran 49:11)
Another way parents hurt their children’s feelings is by calling them hurtful names.  Telling your child he is bad, stupid, crazy, and other hurtful words can humiliate your child.  Some parents use words such as these lightly and don’t consider them anything serious.  No one likes to be called names, even in jest. It lowers a person’s self-esteem and causes one to resent the speaker.

Using words such as these can break down the relationship between you and your child.  Your child is more willing to cooperate with you--even when it’s against his wishes-- when you two have a respectful, understanding and cooperative relationship. 


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Explaining Death to Kids

Explaining Death to Kids
http://thelittlemuslims.com/2013/03/06/explaining-death-to-kids/


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, September 12, 2013

.Does Your Child need a Spanking? (By Grandma Jeddah)

Does Your Child need a Spanking? (By Grandma Jeddah)
Children have feelings and emotions just as adults do.  The old saying, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” plays true when dealing with your children.  You may have noticed that some kids do in fact respond to demands when they are finally spanked.  Most all people comply with demands made upon them when under the pressure of physical punishment.  But at what cost is the compliance? At the cost of your child acting out in school because he knows you want him to get good grades, but he wants to show you a thing or two. At the cost of his hurting your feelings in a subtle yet clever way in front of friends and family.  Or at the cost of his rebelliousness even if it results in his being hit.  And ultimately, at the cost of your fractured relationship that prevents your voice and ideas from being heard and accepted by your child.

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

New Mothers and Productivity (Sana Gul-Productive Muslim)

New Mothers and Productivity (Sana Gul-Productive Muslim)
http://productivemuslim.com/motherhood-series-new/#more-7385

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, September 6, 2013

Test of Children with Special Needs by Grandma Jeddah

Test of Children with Special Needs
by Grandma Jeddah

There is no doubt--raising a child with special needs can be more challenging, stressful and exhausting than raising a child with normal range functioning.  As a Muslim, however, we know that the greater the test the greater the reward.  Raising a child with special needs gives you an opportunity to get so many blessings and rewards.  This is because you have to reach deep, down into your reserve of patience and tolerance to manage your child’s quirky mannerisms, outlandish behavior, and excessive dependence upon you.   Not to mention, you sometimes have to cope with uninformed, disapproving, and intolerant friends, relatives and strangers. So remember the following when you feel like you’re losing control of your household—and your sanity:
مَا عِندَكُمْ يَنفَدُ وَمَا عِندَ اللّهِ بَاقٍ وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّ الَّذِينَ صَبَرُواْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ

"And those who are patient, we will certainly pay them a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do." (Quran 16:96).
"If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Bukhari).
قُلْ لَنْ يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَانَا ۚ وَعَلَى
اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ
"Say: Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Lord and Protector, and in Allah let the believers put their trust." (Quran 9: 51).

Use the difficult moments as opportunities to get closer to your Lord.  Seek help from Him often.
دَعَاهُ وَيَكْشِفُ السُّوءَ وَيَجْعَلُكُمْ خُلَفَاءَ الْأَرْضِ أَمَّنْ يُجِيبُ الْمُضْطَرَّ إِذَا   
"Is it not He who responds to the distressed one when he calls Him (better than your gods.)"
 (Quran 27: 62)
But also keep in mind that your child’s disabilities and eccentric behavior may very well have some positive aspects that you are simply unaware of.  Perhaps it’s a blessing from Allah that He has not made known to you. Perhaps it is Allah’s way of guaranteeing your child paradise.

Narrated 'Ata bin Abi Rabah: Ibn 'Abbas said to me, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet (saw) said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.' She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her." (Bukhari 7:555)



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Pat-on-the-Back

Pat-on-the-Back
by Grandma Jeddah

One of the easiest things to do that can get your child to behave well is to compliment him for good behavior. It sounds easy but it seems to be one of the most difficult practices for parents to master.  It’s so easy for us to find fault with our children.  But when they behave well, we fail to praise them and show our pleasure. How would you feel if from morning to night you had to listen to constant complaints-- "Don’t do this . . . Don’t do that . . . Didn't I tell you not to . . .  Stop it . . . " You’d probably feel angry, unsure of yourself and agitated. Not to mention you'd frequently pretend not to hear the speaker’s voice.
            When your child is quietly content, playing with his toys or getting along with his younger sibling, you are hesitant to disturb the peace. You are so happy to relax and  take a breather from all  the usual commotion, you tend not to compliment your child to let him know how pleased you are with him for making salat on time,  cleaning his room, not playing ball in the house, or getting along with his brother.  But it’s essential to switch from this pattern if you want to see more of this favored behavior in the future.  So true is the saying--an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
            Pat-on-the-back necessities retraining your thought patterns.  You have to actually look for good deeds and behavior from your child and praise him for it. We all like our efforts acknowledged.  Our kids do too.
            When your son gets off the computer next time without your having to count to three, let him know you appreciate his promptness. When you compliment him, he will feel more inclined toward obeying you next time.  You might also find an improvement in other areas of his behavior as an unexpected side benefit.

Get in the habit of complimenting your child more often.  Have you ever noticed sometimes when you say something nice to someone such as “I like your new outfit,” the listener responds with “Huh?” or ”What?” They appear to be surprised to hear a compliment. They actually heard your words quite clearly, but it’s as if they want you to repeat it so they can relish the moment. Whenever you compliment your child, you will likely get his attention.  Keep this useful tool in mind when trying to correct your child’s behavior.




Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Helping Teens Take Charge of Their Health Care

Helping Teens Take Charge of Their Health Care
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/_issues2012/2012_teenhealth.html#cat20947


Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California. Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com

Friday, August 23, 2013

Show your Love

                                               Show your Love
                                               by Grandma Jeddah
There are so many ways you can acknowledge your child. One way the Prophet (saw) did so was by hugging and kissing the young ones in his family.  
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (saw) kissed his grandson Hasan bin `Ali in the presence of Aqra` bin Habis. Thereupon Aqra` remarked: "I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.'' The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) cast a glance upon him and said, "He who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Cultures have different norms.  But our culture is the religion of Islam. Get in the habit of expressing affection toward your child.  For most mothers, hugging and kissing their children comes naturally. There are situations where mothers may have difficulty showing affection, however.  More on that subject in Secret 3.
            What are the ways you can show affection toward your child?  They are countless. You can show your love by hugging him when he’s brought home a gift for you from school or when he’s shown you high grades on his report card.   Hug and kiss him when you first see him as he hops out of bed in the morning or before he retires for the night in the evening.  When you see him leave for school or go outside to play, give him a hug.  It will go a long way in helping him feel good about himself at school and away from home.  The comfort and stability of a warm hug is reassuring. 

  You know your child better than anyone. Write down ways to let him know you are pleased with him and tape it on the wall above your bed as a reminder--kiss, hug, smile, touch, hold his hand, massage his back, say “I love you.” 



Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 13 grandchildren. She has taught hundreds of students for over 30 years at an Islamic school in Los Angeles, California.This is an excerpt from her book, Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind while at It.  Subscribe to her free newsletter at --http://www.grandmajeddah.com