Principal's Message

Message from the Principal: Brother Eric Ali-- When guiding our children toward proper Islamic character, we must remember that part of being a wise teacher or parent is being kind and gentle with our children. During the time of the Prophet (saw), a Bedouin urinated in the masjid. Immediately the Prophet’s companions rushed toward the man to beat him. But the Prophet (saw) told them to leave him alone. After the man finished urinating, the Prophet (saw) told him, “Verily, filth and urine are not permitted in these masjids. Indeed, it is for the remembrance of Allah.” The Messenger said to his companions, “I was sent to make things easy, and I was not sent to make things difficult.” And he poured a bucket of water over the urine. Even though our children were raised in Islam, eventually they will have to choose to be Muslims. Let’s help make the proper decision easy for them.-- Al-Madinah School: 1635 South Saint Andrews Place, Los Angeles, California 90019-- madina@pacbell.net (1-323) 296-5961

Sunday, July 31, 2011

5 Tips to Getting your Youngster up for Suhoor--Without Shouting By Grandma Jeddah

It’s Ramadan! Time for early morning meals, sundown feasts and late night prayers.  You want your child to learn the rituals of Ramadan, because Ramadan is one of the pillars of faith of our religion. Why not start out by getting him in the habit of getting up for the early morning suhoor meal.  It’s full of blessings and can give your child the energy he needs to make it through the day on an empty stomach.
             Although suhoor is an important start to a day of fasting, parents sometimes have a difficult time getting their children up for suhoor. Here are some helpful tips on how to wake up your child for suhoor.
            First, make sure your child is getting sufficient rest throughout the day.  A well rested child is easier to wake up early in the morning than one who is in need of rest.  Try to ensure that he’s getting his required hours of sleep per day.  Children aged five to ten need daily about 10 to 11 hours of sleep.  Youth over ten years need about 8 to 9 hours a day of sleep. Attempt to get your child to bed on time.   It’s common to stay awake into the wee hours of the night making up for lost eating time during Ramadan, but seek to avoid keeping your child up into extremely late hours of the night. That way, waking up early will be much easier on his body both physically and mentally.     
To be continued, insha'Allah . . .

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Grandma Jeddah's 2011 Special Ramadan Newsletter

Receive Grandma Jeddah’s Special  2011 Ramadan Newsletter directly to your email.
Find out—
Ø  How to encourage your child to fast—without pressuring
Ø  Enjoyable Islamic activities to entertain your child with this Ramadan
Ø  How to get your child up for Suhoor without shouting
Ø  Updates on Grandma Jeddah’s e-Library
Go to the “Free Newsletter” page at—www.grandmajeddah.com   NOW!


Friday, July 29, 2011

RAMADAN PARENTING CONTEST

May Allah accept your fasting and bless you with his bounty and blessings during this special month of RAMADAN

Assalamu Alaikum Sister,

Why not add becoming a better parent to your list of endeavors this RAMADAN.  What a positive and rewarding way to spend your time during your days of fasting.

1. Strive to develop more patience when disciplining your child.
2. Attempt to direct your child towards obedience without losing control and shouting
3. Develop a habit of controlling your child using encouragement rather than hitting.
4. Find ways to help your child learn self-control.
5. Learn how to get through a temper tantrum without having one yourself.
6. And much . . . much . . . more!

Contest Rules and Instructions
Easy as 1… 2… 3…

1. Visit Grandma Jeddah’s Blog at: grandmajeddah.blogspot.com starting Ramadan 1st to Ramadan 29th /30th .

2. Once a week during Ramadan, Grandma Jeddah will post on her blog a discipline problem for you to resolve. Which day? Well. . . you’ll have to visit her blog daily to find that out.

3. Hunt through Grandma Jeddah’s old blog posts to help yourself find the answer to solving the discipline problem. When you find the post(s) that answers your discipline problem, write down the title(s) along with how you would solve the problem. Email your answer to: grandmajeddah@yahoo.com

Answer all four questions and you’ll win your own FREE copy of Grandma Jeddah’s brand new e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide delivered directly to your email. This condensed e-Booklet highlights some of the main points in Grandma Jeddah’s original e-Book Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child--And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It. Grandma Jeddah has found another way to make obeying easier and discipline simpler for you and your child, with her quick and easy to use Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide.

The Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide includes:
 4 “must know” reasons why children disobey
 Lists of rewards and penalties for disciplining
 An actual incentive Star Chart to use with your rewards and penalties
 An actual IOU Chart
 25 effective non-hitting discipline tips
 Examples of ways to help you manage your stress
 Signs of and methods of disciplining children with special needs
 Du’as to say for children to grow-up as good Muslims
 Reminders from Quran and hadith on importance of being patient


Come along, and participate in this fun and worthwhile contest this Ramadan. Give yourself another positive thing to do throughout the fasting day.
Oh . . . and don’t forget to tell a friend!

www.grandmajeddah@yahoo.com
grandmajeddah.blogspot.com

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Avoid this Discipline Mistake: Ignoring Your Child's Feelings By: Grandma Jeddah

Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah: And Allah (always) hears the arguments between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things).            (Quran 58:1)

In the above ayat, Allah reassures us that He knows whatever our complaints, problems and difficulties are.  How reassuring.  Knowing that Allah, Glory be to Him the Most High, knows what we are going through is truly a comforting thought.
A major key to preventing acting out behavior is to empathize with your child. Try to make sure your child does not starve for emotional support. When you acknowledge your child’s feelings, you’re letting him know that his feelings matter. People have a strong desire to know that significant others care about their pain, hurt or disappointments.  This helps them feel loved and wanted. When your child senses no one cares about his feelings, he may begin to exhibit extreme defiant behavior, in particular toward authority figures—including you. When you fail to show your concern for his emotions, he may choose to make you feel what he’s feeling—by hurting your feelings or venting his frustrations upon others.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.
______________________________________________________________
Look for Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book, 
 Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide Coming soon, insha'Allah!
Make your search for helpful discipline tips quicker and easier.


WIN Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book. . .
Participate in the 2011 RAMADAN  PARENTING CONTEST. 

For more details visit http://www.grandmajeddah.com/ Welcome page


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Give Attention to Prevent Misbehavior By: Grandma Jeddah

Anas ibn Maalik reported, “I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (saw).  His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah.  He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back.” (Muslim)

One of the best things you can do for your child to prevent acting out behavior is give him attention. Children thrive on attention.  They need to know they are acknowledged--they exist.  They need to know they matter.  Let your child know you care about him. 

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.
_______________________________________________________________
Look for Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book, 
 Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide Coming soon, insha'Allah!
Make your search for helpful discipline tips quicker and easier.

                                               WIN Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book. . .
Participate in the 2011 RAMADAN  PARENTING CONTEST. 

                   For more details visit http://www.grandmajeddah.com/ Welcome page

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

One Scholars Opinion on Disciplining with Hitting By: Grandma Jeddah


Anas Ibn Maalik said, “I served the Prophet (SAW) for ten years, and he never hit me, insulted me, or frowned in my face.” (Muslim)
What’s all this talk about raising your child without hitting?  This is not our way, you might say.  After all, there is a hadith that says at age 10 if your child doesn’t pray then hit him.1  And there‘s another hadith reported by Ibn Abaas that says to hang your belt where the members of the household can see it, for that will discipline them.2
            But have you heard about the position some of the well known scholars and educators have taken on the position of hitting kids, in light of the above ahaadith?  To find the answers, you might have to dig deep and search hard for the understanding.
The information that is profusely presented to most parents is that you should hit your child for misbehavior or you’ll spoil and ruin him. This is how most of us were probably raised. But is there a basis for this concept in Islam?  Is it based upon The Quran, sunnah or the ways of the Sahaba?  Or, is it simply a cultural habit that has been passed down from generation to generation among both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
Some scholars, such as Sheikh Albaani (ra), have said that it is completely forbidden to hit your children if they are under the age of 10 or haven’t reached puberty.  During one of the Sheikh’s lectures a listener asked the following question about hitting:
“. . . regarding hitting, sometimes you find students leave their houses and have no manners, even good advice does not benefit them, so does hitting them fall into necessity?”
Sheikh Albaani (ra) replied, “There is no necessity.  Where is the necessity here?  Can you comprehend that hitting would benefit when the One who created him said, do not hit him until he reaches the age of seven [ten]?”
Sheikh Albaani (ra) then continued, “There is no hitting, no hitting at all.  Rather there is directing, advising and speech.  Sometimes words have a greater [e]affect on people than hitting.  In addition, hitting with some people does not help at all; rather it makes them continue on what they’re upon more and more.  What is important is that the best of all guidance is the guidance of Muhammad; may peace and blessings be upon Him. Thus, the child is not to be hit so long that he did not reach the age of puberty.3
The people of knowledge that are of the opinion that hitting children is allowed specify certain conditions. For the hitting:

Ø  It Must be used as a last resort
Ø  It Must  be gentle without leaving marks or cause pain
Ø  It Must not be in the face4

Whichever opinion you choose to accept—hitting or no hitting-- know that disciplining without harshness  will not only result in more positive behavior, ( just try it and see)  it will also help lower your own adrenaline level which helps make you a  more composed mother during the discipline process. A win-win situation all around.
It is reported that the Prophet (saw) said “O Ayisha! There is nothing that has gentleness in it except that it beautifies it, and it is not taken away from anything except that it defiles it. (Muslim)


http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentID=2009012828000


This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.
_______________________________________________________________


Look for Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book, 
 Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide Coming soon, insha'Allah!
Make your search for helpful discipline tips quicker and easier.



WIN Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book. . .
Participate in the 2011 RAMADAN  PARENTING CONTEST. 


For more details visit http://www.grandmajeddah.com/ Welcome page

Monday, July 25, 2011

Islamic Parenting: 10 Keys to Raising Righteous Children By: Faraz Rabbani

Simple yet inspirational video: Discipline your children by being a good example
http://vimeo.com/7041616


If you like this, you can find more helpful parenting resources on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/


_______________________________________________________________


Look for Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book, 
 Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide Coming soon, insha'Allah!
Make your search for helpful discipline tips quicker and easier.


WIN Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book. . .
Participate in the 2011 RAMADAN  PARENTING CONTEST. 

For more details visit http://www.grandmajeddah.com/ Welcome page


Sunday, July 24, 2011

Practical Tips for Parenting Children By: Dr. Aisha Hamdan

Marvelous advice on parenting from Dr. Aisha Hamdan.
http://www.sunnahonline.com/ilm/sisters/0008.htm

If you like this, you can find more helpful parenting resources on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

_______________________________________________________________

Look for Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book, 
 Discipline without Disrespecting: Quick Tip Guide Coming soon, insha'Allah!
Make your search for helpful discipline tips quicker and easier.


WIN Grandma Jeddah's NEW e-Book. . .
Participate in the 2011 RAMADAN  PARENTING CONTEST. 

For more details visit http://www.grandmajeddah.com/ Welcome page


Saturday, July 23, 2011

Maintain a Daily Schedule for Positive Discipline By: Grandma Jeddah

 
Strong-willed kids need structure. A daily schedule can provide them with the limits and structure they need and desire. Knowing what to expect during the phases of the day helps them feel grounded. It also helps to maintain better discipline as they know what is expected of them.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your Comments are welcomed.

Friday, July 22, 2011

A Reminder is Good for Your Teen By: Grandma Jeddah

When you have your teen’s undivided attention in the car, waiting room or even at home, talk to your teenager or young adult.  If you’re looking at a show on TV or listening to a radio program and a sports celebrity gets arrested for drunk driving or possession of drugs, explain to your child how Islam views these acts.  When your daughter hears about the popular actress who just split up with her latest partner, use this as an opportunity to explain or remind her of the Islamic perspective regarding this type of relationship. They might feign boredom, but they’ll digest the information, nevertheless.    Let her know that illicit sex can lead to a host of problems and explain in detail.  Use ayats from Quran and hadith to let her know how serious Allah considers these behaviors.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your Comments are welcomed.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Challenge Your Teen By: Grandma Jeddah

And each one hath a goal toward which he turneth; so vie with one another in good works. Wheresoever ye may be, Allah will bring you all together. Lo! Allah is Able to do all things (Quran 2:148)
Kids of all ages love challenges. Even your older kids find challenges appealing. Virtually any challenge can result in success.  Rather than reprimanding your teen for not getting good grades, give him a challenge: “If you get an “A” on your math test I’ll sign you up for the basketball league.” “For every “A” on your next report card you get a dollar.”  Offering a reward for beating the challenge isn’t always necessary. Sometimes just winning the challenge can be excitement enough for your child. You and your daughter are folding and putting away the laundry. “I’ll beat you folding the clothes.”  No reward needed, just the joy of the challenge.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Pick Your Battles with Teens By: Grandma Jeddah


Let this be your motto with this age group. If you knit pick at every little thing your teen does, you won’t have ammunition for the big stuff.  If your teen hasn’t cleaned his room for a week and you just can’t stand looking at it anymore, how about not going in his room for a while until you’re in a better mood about the room.  Save your ammunition for when he swipes the car keys and takes the car without your permission, or slugs his younger brother.
When your teen uses inappropriate words in the home, or speaks to you in a curt manner, remind him that the Prophet (saw) was sent to perfect our manners,  and that if he doesn’t have anything good to say don’t say anything.  Long, in depth reproaches can become meaningless to teens.  Keep it brief. 
1-2-3, still works with this age group.  The challenge seems to still have its charm.  Use it often if you like. When your daughter snaps off at you, simply tell her, “I want you to apologize for talking disrespectfully to me by the time I count to three.” Say this showing no emotion.  You’re simply correcting a wrong. If she doesn’t respond to the count, talk to her as you would any other adult.  Let her know that Allah has prescribed that she be most kind to you.  Let her know that until she apologizes, you won’t take her places she needs to go, or if she is a driver she’s unable to use the car. Or tell her she’s unable to have friends over. You can also restrict items within the house such as family electronics, TV, computer, and Playstation.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Logical vs. Natural Consequences By: Grandma Jeddah

Logical consequences can occur as a result of your child exercising choices.   The difference between logical and natural consequences is that natural consequences naturally occur. A natural consequence might occur when yourchild sticks his finger into the hot peach cobbler you just pulled out of the oven and told him not to touch.  No need to discipline here.  He’s learned his lesson.
 Logical consequences, on the other hand, involve intervention by the parent.  Some natural consequences are too dangerous for a parent to allow to take place.  For instance, if your child chooses to play with matches or fire, you certainly would not want him to learn that he might catch on fire or burn the house down as a natural consequence.  You might choose to not allow him to cook for a specified period as a logical consequence, however.  “I can see you’re not ready to use fire in a safe way right now.  You won’t be able to use the kitchen for three days.”

If Jamal is playing ball in the house again, Mom might say, “Jamal I need you to stop playing ball in the house because you might break the lamp. You can either play outside or I can put your ball away for later.”  If Jamal plays with the ball again in the house, you know Jamal has decided for you to take the ball.  As a logical consequence, Mom takes the ball away for an hour.

Several points to keep in mind when using logical consequences:
Ø  Logical consequences are intended to help your child learn for the future. They may not always be necessary.  Explaining to your child how his behavior is unsuitable and attempting to seek a solution through discussion may lead to a more productive outcome.

Ø  Involving your child in solving the problem can often be quite effective.  When your child helps decide what the rules are in your home and what the penalties are for breaking the rules, they are more willing to comply and be cooperative.

Ø  When applying logical consequences, resist the urge to shame or humiliate your child.  This is counterproductive to getting your child to comply.  It can make him vengeful and have little desire to please you.

Ø  Be respectful and gentle when allotting the logical consequence. Speak in a calm voice showing you care.

Ø  Make sure the consequence fits the offense in intensity.  If your son went outside without cleaning his room, you wouldn’t make him clean the entire house.  You might have him clean his room and not allow him to go back outside for 15 minutes after cleaning. 

Ø  Try to ensure the consequence relates to the misbehaver whenever possible. If your daughter hits her younger sibling, cleaning the house would not relate to the behavior.  Instead, you might want to have her let the little one play with her toys for a period of time.

Ø  Make the consequence relate to the current situation.  Don’t rehash old issues related to the current problem. If your child wants to go to the store with you but last time she had a tantrum. You wouldn’t say, “Last time you went to the store with me you fell on the floor when I wouldn’t buy you the car you wanted.”  You could say, “You can go with me if you control your anger when I don’t buy you the things you want.”  Your child needs to know she can make mistakes, without being a complete failure.  She can learn from her errors and improve her behavior in the future.  You are training and teaching your child. Patience and self control are traits that are learned. Offer your child the opportunity to grow and learn from her mistakes

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.

Monday, July 18, 2011

"Time Out" for Discipline By Grandma Jeddah

          There are many succesful ways of encouraging your child to obey without hitting him.  One effective discipline method is “Time-Out”. When your child is misbehaving, send him to his room.  If you have other children in the home and they share a room with your misbehaving child, make sure he spends his time-out alone.  You want a room where he can be unaccompanied and not have interaction with others.  Although it’s preferable to have a permanent room that is used for time-outs, any room in the house that is not occupied will suffice. Even a spot on the couch, in a corner or in the hallway can be used.  Select a location that is reasonable for your home setting.    This is as long as there is no concern he will cause harm to himself.  A general exception to any room in the house would be the bathroom and kitchen.  The kitchen has fire and hot items which could be dangerous and the bathroom is generally an unclean place.

Keep in mind that ADHD/ADD children may need a room rather than simply sitting in one spot for their time-out period.  Their inability to remain still for an extensive period may lead you to unnecessarily enforce further sanctions due to their failure to be able to sit still for the duration. For older kids around 10 to 13 years of age, time-out can be waiting outside of the house.  This is used with extremely unruly children who are expressing defiance and showing their complete disregard to your 1-2-3 counting or stars off. 

 Be sure not to react emotionally when directing your child to go outside.  Give your child his warning of stopping the extreme behavior by the time you count to 3 or he’ll have to wait outside for 10 minutes. Outside time-outs are useful during periods when your child appears to be going through an “out of control” moment.  This works well with ADHD and strong-willed children.  Make sure his friends aren’t around before you send him out. Leaving the house can have a strong impact because your child is completely removed from participation in the home. It’s as if he’s an outcast.
With a little patience in the beginning, time-out can be a valuable discipline device. 



This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It.  To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Raising Children in Islam By: Dr. Muhammad Salah

Raising Children in Islam
By: Dr. Muhammad Salah
Huda Live (Don’t miss this)
Mother controlling anger, reward of parent in proportion with effort, hitting as last resort, other parenting techniques
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE38FckaQ38


If you like this, you can find more helpful parenting resources like this on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/


Your comments are welcomed.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Advice on the Treatment of Children By: Al Huda TV

Endearing Advice on the Treatment of Children --Published by Al Huda TV


http://www.huda.tv/for-sisters-only/raising-up-children/247-some-advice-on-the-treatment-of-children

If you like this, you can find more helpful parenting resources like this on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Your comments are welcomed.

Friday, July 15, 2011

10 Weekly Discipline Tips By: IslamicWorld.net

10 Weekly Tips on Effectively Disciplining Your Muslim Child

http://www.islamic-world.net/parenting/parenting_tips.htm#week_one


If you like this, you can find more helpful parenting resources like this on the "Parenting Support" page at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Parental Patience: A Key to Instruction By: Grandma Jeddah

Your five-year-old son has just had a meltdown.  He wanted you to take him with you to his older brother’s basketball practice.   You refused because it was after school and you knew he needed a nap because he’d been up late last night.  Little sleep equals a short temper for your little one.
        And that’s just what he had—a short temper.  He started his rampage of kicking the door against the wall and flailing like he was in a pool swimming backwards.
        How can a mother who wants to give up hitting and shouting control this type of behavior?  The first thing to understand is that children are going through a learning process.  They must be taught how to behave.  This doesn’t mean you simply let them know their behavior is unacceptable. It also involves showing and explaining to them other ways to actually solve their problem.
        Some children take longer than others to learn how to control themselves.  This is where patience comes in on the parent’s part.  When a child seems to be unresponsive to suggested solutions to his problem, don’t give up.  Continue directing him.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s FREE e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: 8 Tips to Taming Your Muslim child's Temper.  To download your own personal copy of this  FREE e-Book or receive Grandma Jeddah's FREE newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Please share your thought in the comments.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

How to Teach Your Child to Understand Her Emotions By: Grandma Jeddah

         Children who have difficulty expressing and understanding emotional contexts must be taught to understand them.  This can be done in several ways.  One way is by the parent verbally stating what the child’s emotions are at different settings.
         If your child is laughing and playing joyfully, tell her, “I can see you are happy today because your friend is over.”  If she is moping around the house with nothing to do, let her know she’s feeling bored today because she can’t find anything enjoyable to do.  If she’s angry at you because you won’t let her stay on the computer, tell her that you know she’s angry.  Let her know how you know.  She’s not smiling.  She’s pouting.  She doesn’t want to do what you say. 
        Another effective way of teaching your child feeling words is to express them when you are feeling a particular way.  If you are mad because she didn’t do her homework until bedtime, let her know—in a calm manner.  “It makes me angry when you wait until bedtime to do your homework, because then you don’t get enough rest for school tomorrow.”
         When you express your own anger in a calm way, this lets your daughter see that throwing a fit isn’t necessary to make others aware she’s irritated.
        If you are sad after hearing bad news, say to your daughter,  “Mommy is sad today, because someone close to Mommy is in the hospital.”
        Here’s one way to help remind yourself about discussing emotion words with your child.  Make a list of emotion words (sad, happy, angry, hurt, excited, jealous, hopeful, love, scared, shy etc.) and post them on your wall.  Better yet, pick up a feelings poster from a school supply store and post it on the door for your child. She will see the different faces of children expressing emotions with the word for the emotion beneath the picture.  This will help reinforce the concepts of emotions in your child so she will be able to express herself verbally rather than through uncontrollable outbursts. 
        Children who are able to express their sadness, pain, resentment and other problems in words are less in need of acting out inappropriately to get their feelings understood.  When they express their problems verbally, you need to be there empathetically to listen and respond with compassion.  No one likes to reveal a problem that their having to someone and in turn have the person brush them off or belittle the problem as irrelevant.  This only breeds resentment. It is important that your child receives the emotional support she needs during times of distress if you want to encourage her to avoid losing control of her emotions.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s FREE e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: 8 Tips to Taming Your Muslim child's Temper.  To download your own personal copy of this  FREE e-Book or receive Grandma Jeddah's FREE newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Please share your thought in the comments.







Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Teach Emotion Words for Better Discipline By: Grandma Jeddah


           One way to help your child learn how to control his sad, angry and unhappy feelings is by teaching him emotion words to explain how he feels.  Some children, such as those with ADHD, learning deficits or Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD’s) truly don’t know how to express their feelings in words.  In these situations, you must teach them the words for certain feelings and also how to express the words to others. This concept may be difficult for the average person to comprehend.  The average person might wonder, how can someone not know how to verbally let others know they are feeling sad or happy? 
            Certain children have language impairments and social interaction difficulties that cause them to misunderstand the normal cues that signify emotions.   Children with autism, ADHD and other conditions may fall into this category.  They are indeed different than the average functioning child.  Knowing this, can help parents alter their discipline methods so they are more suitable for their particular child.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s FREE e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: 8 Tips to Taming Your Muslim child's Temper.  To download your own personal copy of this  FREE e-Book or receive Grandma Jeddah's FREE newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Listen to Bliss-en Discipline By: Grandma Jeddah


         Children have a desire to know that important people in their lives care about their concerns.  This is just the natural makeup of humans.  But not only do they want to be empathized with, they also need to simply just be heard.
        This is one of the primary roles that psychologists and counselors play with their clients.  They are there to listen to the person’s problems.  Just being able to talk about a problem and get it off one’s chest can be enough to make someone feel better sometimes.
        Be there for your child emotionally when she has a problem that’s troubling her. You’ll find your concern will go a long way in helping her see that she needn’t act out to get others around her to know how terrible she feels.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s FREE e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: 8 Tips to Taming Your Muslim child's Temper.  To download your own personal copy of this  FREE e-Book or receive Grandma Jeddah's FREE newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Please share your thought in the comments.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Empathize to Minimize Discipline Problems

      
             You’re in line at the grocery store.  It’s a sweltering summer day. You feel drops of sweat drip down your forehead, along your scarf and down your chest beneath your long dress. You notice the grocery store clerk smile and greet the customer in front of you with “Thank you, have a nice day.”  You step up to the counter. She doesn’t say a word.  She follows through on your transaction and hands you your change and receipt.  As you turn to leave, you hear a kind voice saying “Hi, how are you?” to the customer who was behind you.
            When you get home, you tell the story to a close family member at home.  He brushes it off as oversensitivity.  You feel indignant, cheated. 
            That’s how your child feels when she comes to you with a problem and you brush it off as if it were nothing she should be concerned about.  Everyone is different.  What may cause anger in one person might be a harmless joke to another.  Even though your daughter’s distress at her younger brother getting into her personal box of collections is insignificant to you, that doesn’t mean that it should be unimportant to your child.
            Keep this important concept in mind when dealing with your child’s behavior.  Showing concern for your child’s problems can open the doors to communication.  This can lead to your child expressing her feelings in a more positive rather than vindictive manner.

This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s FREE e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: 8 Tips to Taming Your Muslim child's Temper.  To download your own personal copy of this  FREE e-Book or receive Grandma Jeddah's FREE newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/

Please share your thought in the comments.