Let this be your motto with this age group. If you knit pick at every little thing your teen does, you won’t have ammunition for the big stuff. If your teen hasn’t cleaned his room for a week and you just can’t stand looking at it anymore, how about not going in his room for a while until you’re in a better mood about the room. Save your ammunition for when he swipes the car keys and takes the car without your permission, or slugs his younger brother.
When your teen uses inappropriate words in the home, or speaks to you in a curt manner, remind him that the Prophet (saw) was sent to perfect our manners, and that if he doesn’t have anything good to say don’t say anything. Long, in depth reproaches can become meaningless to teens. Keep it brief.
1-2-3, still works with this age group. The challenge seems to still have its charm. Use it often if you like. When your daughter snaps off at you, simply tell her, “I want you to apologize for talking disrespectfully to me by the time I count to three.” Say this showing no emotion. You’re simply correcting a wrong. If she doesn’t respond to the count, talk to her as you would any other adult. Let her know that Allah has prescribed that she be most kind to you. Let her know that until she apologizes, you won’t take her places she needs to go, or if she is a driver she’s unable to use the car. Or tell her she’s unable to have friends over. You can also restrict items within the house such as family electronics, TV, computer, and Playstation.
This is an excerpt from Grandma Jeddah’s e-Book: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child—And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It. To order her e-Book or receive her free newsletter, visit her at http://www.grandmajeddah.com/
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